I Can Still Feel You Here With Me
by Lexicon2
Summary: Alex's life has hit rock bottom when Paige's mom suggest she move in with them. Alex's life is just a bunch of ups and downs.Finding new passions, making friends, and learning what it's like to be in a real family. Palex. Ch 40 up! Rating changed to T
1. Chapter 1

**And also, I know I labeled this as a Palex. Though Paige isn't actually going to be a major character in this story just yet. Alex has to go through some **_**growing**_** first. But don't worry, there will be Palex. I know the general direction of the story, I just haven't got the details worked out yet. I'm also still playing around with the title. That might change too.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or the characters.

Chap 1:

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I look at the piece of paper in my hand. It is my freedom, but it means nothing to me. It's over and now I am done. It's time to start a new life for myself. It's time to become a fresh new person away from my past and toward the future. _My future._ I should have been thinking about that three months ago. Things could have been different. Now I have to face it alone. I sit down on the edge of my bed and I tell myself I am over everything that has happened in the past four years. I tell myself I have moved on. I tell myself a lot of bullshit that keeps me going through the day. I tell myself it's true. I feel like I am about to cry. I close my eyes and hold back my feelings. I don't open them again until I hear my mother's voice as she steps into my doorway.

"Watcha got there, Lexi?" She is holding a beer can and I can tell she is buzzed. I look down at the piece of paper still in my hand.

"It's my diploma. I just opened it." I say.

"Did you graduate already?" She says.

"Three months ago." I inform her.

"And you're just getting that now?"

"Mom, I've had it. They sent it a few months ago. I'm just opening it now."

My mother takes another sip from her beer can. I zone out for a moment before coming back to reality.

"I have to go to work now." I stand up from the bed. I walk over to my night stand and place my diploma in the top drawer. I then grab a sweater. My mother shrugs before moving out of the doorway for me to pass. I don't look at her as I walk by and she doesn't say good-bye. As I leave my apartment I can feel the September wind on my face. I close my eyes and take it in and it relaxes me. I spend a moment pondering whether I should walk or take the bus. Both take the same amount of time, considering all the stops the bus makes. I decide on walking. The irony in my life was impeccable. Why of all places did I get a job at the mall? The one place I hated to be regardless of for-what-ever reason. It didn't matter though, money was money, and my memories there were bittersweet.

I had been working at a small clothing store in the mall for almost two solid months. It was a steady job and the pay was good. I did my best to be friendly and helpful and I got a good discount. Not that I used it much. My wardrobe expanded only slightly. I was saving up my money. I wasn't able to decide if I wanted a car or just spring for a place of my own. I often thought of how nice it would be to get out of my apartment. I wouldn't have to live with the drama of my mother and Chad anymore. I felt a little happier at the thought of being on my own, but then I was quickly brought back to reality at the sight of the mall. All the memories I had there. I blocked them from my mind and proceeded to go to work.

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Work, like always, was a load of shit. I spent most of my time putting cloths back on the racks. At least I didn't have to deal with a bunch of customers. Listening to all the youth go on about the newest rage and all the parents picking out "cute" cloths for their children. I was just glad to be free of them all. At least for the evening. The air was still cool and the breeze was a little stronger. Despite the fact it was dark outside I decided to walk home. I need to clear my head, these days that was all I needed to do. I finally got to my apartment building. I became stricken with a overbearing sickness. I didn't want to go home, if that's even what you wanted to call it. I already felt like something was wrong. Despite that, I really didn't have a better place to go. So I preceded inside the building. As I reached my floor I could hear yelling down the hallway.

"Don't talk to me that way!"

"Well you let the girl do whatever she wants!"

"That's not true!"

"Who knows how long! I don't need this right now, Emily."

I continued to walk down the hallway to my door. The muffled voices grew louder. I knew it was my mom and Chad arguing. I couldn't tell what they were fighting about. Maybe I shouldn't have came home that night. But perhaps it was better this way. Sometimes things happen for a reason, even if we can't see it right away. I unlocked the door. I hadn't been in the room for two seconds before I was knocked to the floor. I couldn't see anything and my face was stinging badly. I could feel the blood trickle from my lip.

"Get out!" I heard. "Get out and don't come back! This is the last time!" I looked up to see Chad over me. He was waving a bag in his hand. "Do know what will happen if we get caught with this?" He was holding an old bag of dope. I hadn't used in well over year, to tell the truth I had actually forgot it was there. My mother had probably been snooping through my room after I left and came across it. I don't even remember were I had hid it. I didn't even try to explain. I stood up. I didn't bother to wipe the blood from my face nor rub my tender check. I wouldn't give Chad the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt me. I look at my mother who was crying but refused to tend to me, then back at Chad. He met my stair. I turned around and walked out the door, not even bothering to shut it on the way out. I didn't cry as I left my apartment. I didn't cry as I walked the mile and half to the woman's shelter and I didn't cry myself to sleep as I laid hungry in their stiff bed waiting for morning.

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**This was just a kind of get the ball rolling chapter. The next chapter should get interesting. I'm in the process of finishing it up. It should be up soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I finally felt chapter 2 was about as good as it was going to get. I'm still trying to decide on the pace of the story. I decided to kind of pick things up a little. Again, I might go back and edit it a little if I find it necessary. **

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Ch 2:

The morning's sun glistened over the rooftops and through the dull unclean windows of the woman's shelter. I awoke again to meet my fate. I had spent the last two weeks here, sleeping in their beds, eating their food, and using their showers. I continued to go to work as nothing had changed. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I started looking forward to working. At work I was able to pretend my life wasn't shit. I was able to act like nothing was wrong. I was just as good as any shopper coming in to by a new outfit for some birthday party or special event. I could smile and laugh and no one would know. I had pretty much been working eight hour shifts and had mentioned to my boss I wouldn't mind working longer if she needed me. My bi-weekly paychecks were usually enough to brighten my mood. Though I didn't have anywhere near enough money to afford a place by myself, not having a home sure did give me a good incentive to keep saving. I didn't know how much longer I could take the woman's shelter. It was now more than ever did I spend most night's there contemplating what would have happened of I just would have gone away with Paige. Could things have been worse? At least I wouldn't have been alone. For a little while anyway. Paige had asked me come with her. She had worried about me. She had cared about me. No one else had ever done that before and I let her go. I didn't just let Paige walk out of my life, I practically pushed her. Though, Paige and I were on different tracks. She was bound for bigger and better things and I still needed to figure my life out. _Yep, great job I've been doing._ I not only had no clue what I was doing, I was also homeless now too. I thought about what would have happened had I gone with Paige. How long would it have been before her busy college life would make her forget about me? Would she have really forgotten about me? Late at night I would lie awake thinking about Paige. _Being her lapdog doesn't sound so bad right now._ I had made the decision to end it. It was I who had to live with it. For better or for worse.

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Tuesday was a slow day. Weekdays usually were. Most people were at school or work. I didn't mind though, since I didn't have anything better to do or anywhere better to go. When I finally got off at 6:30 I was almost sad I had to leave. I decided that instead of going straight to the woman's shelter that I would browse around a little. The mall was still open for about two more hours and the shelter would be there all night. I browsed through the little shops. I even stopped to get myself something to eat. The food at the shelter wasn't the greatest and I needed something that felt like real food. After about an hour I started to get bored and headed towards the exit. I decided I would take my time back to the shelter. I had just walked past a McDonald's when I heard my name. Or I thought I heard my name.

"Alex?"

I turned to look. I was almost stunned. My breathing became heavier and I could feel my heart drop. The long blond haired woman, now standing in front of me, was holding about a million shopping bags.

"Alex!" She said. "Well, hello there! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Hello, Mrs. Michalchuk. It's been awhile." I replied trying to sound enthused.

"Well don't just stand there! Come give me a hug!" She outstretched her arms. I could hardly believe she could hold all the bags up as they hung from her wrists.

I walked over and met her embrace. I tried my best to smile. She held me as tight as she could and all the bags collided into my side. I hardly minded though. She was so warm and welcoming. I didn't want to let go, but finally we parted.

"Aww...dear..Look at you! How have you been?" She said, a huge smile on her face.

"Uh, I've been doing good." I said. I didn't meet her gaze. I felt like I was lying. I was far from good.

She gave a small sigh.

"How are you doing?" I decided to ask back. I figured it was only polite and I had time for some conversation.

She was obviously flattered by my asking. She started to blush a little._ Just like a Michalchuk_ I thought.

"Well, I've been doing good. I've been trying to move on. Paige has been gone for over a month now. I really miss her." _You and me both._ The mention of Paige made my stomach ache.

"Really." I started, trying to sound like I was really interested, "How is Paige liking it?"

"Oh, she's loving it." Mrs. Michalchuk replied. Her response bothered me. Though I tried not to show it, she could obviously tell Paige was still a touchy subject. She quickly changed it.

"I was just here grabbing a few things for an event me and the Mr. are attending this weekend." _A few things? _I thought looking at all the bags in her hand. _Like mother like daughter._

"So," she continued, "Were you leaving?"

"Uh, yea. Actually I was getting ready to walk home." I said.

"Oh, honey. Did you want a ride?" She said. She looked concerned at the fact I had to walk.

"Oh no, Mr. Michalchuk. I'm fine. But thank." I replied.

"Nonsense, it's late out and these streets aren't very safe these days. That crime rate. Let me give you a ride home." She gave me a look I had only seen from one other person. When Paige gave this look you knew there was no arguing with her. When I saw it on Mrs. Michalchuk, I knew the same. I stopped trying and she could obviously smell my defeat. Her stern look turned into a gracious smile and we both preceded to the door. We walked to Mrs. Michalchuk's car without a word. She loaded all her bags into the back and then got in to the van. I settled in and buckled my seatbelt.

"Ohh...it's so chilly outside." She said as she started the engine. "Let me turn on some heat." She fumbled with the controls until a rush of cool air came out. "It will take a little bit for the car to warm up sweetie. Now, tell me where you live." She looked at me.

I looked back. Despite her age she still looked so innocent. She had the exact same eyes as Paige. Despite the fact the car's heater was blasting me with cold air, I felt a warmth from her. I knew she really cared about me. I couldn't lie to her. I couldn't lie to anyone who cared.

"Actually, the woman's shelter is just..." Mrs. Michalchuck cut me off.

"Woman's shelter!?" She seemed to be in total shock.

"Yeah...um…" I didn't know how to explain. "I've been working on finding a place."

"How long?" She said obviously unable to get out the whole sentence.

"About two weeks." I replied promptly.

She gasped. I immediately felt ashamed and unclean. I looked down at my feet.

"Nonsense." She spat out. "Complete nonsense." I couldn't tell if she was talking to me or herself. She put the car in drive and sped off.

"Ahh, Mrs. Michalchuk. The shelter is..." I pointed my finger in the direction we were supposed to be going in.

"Were not going to the shelter, dear." She replied

I didn't speak. I didn't know what to say. Luckily the silence didn't last long.

"You're coming home with me." She spat out suddenly.

"But..." I started as I turned to face her. I had no idea how to argue this. My stomach dropped. I didn't want to decline. I didn't want to go back to the shelter either, but it felt awkward to accept at the same time.

"There will be no discussion on this." Her voice was stern and harsh. She was just as suborn as Paige.

"Okay." I quickly replied. Something about her tone made me obey without thinking. I turned back to face the dashboard and left the conversation at that.

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**That was chapter 2. What's going to happen next? Your just going to have to wait and find out. I'm half way done with chapter 3. I'm hoping to start moving into a real plot soon, but there might be a few more chapters to lead up to it. I think I should have the next chapter up soon. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright Chapter 3 is done. It's a bit longer than I had expected. I still have ideas floating around in my head but I think I have the plot figured out a little better now. Also, Paige does make an appearance in this chapter...sort of. **

Chapter 3:

I hadn't been to Paige's house since we broke up. It was weird pulling into her drive way. The ride had been silent, but peaceful. The heat was now blasting full force and was making me drowsy. I had started to nod off when I was stirred by the sound of the engine shutting off.

"Alright," Mrs. Michalchuk began, "Let's go inside and you can wash up while I fix you something to eat."

I unbuckled my seatbelt. I didn't have a clue on how to act or what to say. I was completely taken off guard by this generosity.

Mrs. Michalchuck continued, "Then I'll fix up Dylan's bed so you'll have something comfy to sleep on."

At that, I turned to face her. Mrs. Michalchuk's complexion was the same as Paige's. "Thank you." I said as clean as I could. Things like _thank you_ and _I'm sorry_ were difficult for me to say. Maybe because words like that had to be said with emotion and I wasn't the best at showing that. Mrs. Michalchuk met my gaze.

"You're welcome." She said. Her voice calm and smooth. We got out of the car and went into the house. It was almost surreal to be in Paige's house again. The only thing was that Paige wasn't there. She didn't even live here now. This wasn't her home anymore. Though, her presence was still here. All her childhood pictures still decorated the walls and tables and the house still smelled of her. I rubbed my head. The thought of Paige gave me a feeling I could not explain, but those feelings were drowned out by my intense drowsiness.

Mrs. Michalchuk pointed to the stairs, "You know where everything is dear. Help yourself."

I climbed the stairs to the top and made my way to bathroom. Despite the fact I now wanted to sleep more than anything else, a hot shower also sounded so good. The showers at the shelter were terrible. Sometimes the water was hot, but mostly it was like bathing in the Artic Ocean. I turned the knob on the shower and cold water began to poor down. I continued to turn the knob until it reached the hottest water level it could go. Slowly the water became steamy. I grabbed a clean towel from the drawer and started to remove my cloths. I had pretty much been wearing the same outfit for two weeks now, it felt good to be out of them.

I adjusted the water a little and climbed in the shower. It had been months since I had been in a shower this hot. The water felt so good. I closed my eyes for a second and began to nod off. It was so relaxing. After a minute I forced myself to wake up. I quickly washed my body and hair. While I was in the process if cleansing myself I heard a knock on the door. I'm assuming this goes for everyone, but speaking to anyone you're not entirely comfortable around while your in the shower is a very awkward moment. Maybe it was the fact I was naked and she knew I was naked that bothered me. Reluctantly I responded.

"Yea." I yelled over the sound of the steaming water.

I could hear the door crack opened, but I couldn't see from behind the curtain. I heard Mrs. Michalchuck's voice.

"Here are some fresh clean cloths for you to sleep in dear and dinner is ready as soon as you're done."

"Alright, thanks." I replied. I don't know why the whole moment embarrassed me, but my breathing steadied again once I heard the door shut and I was sure she was gone. I was reluctant to shut the water off and get out. The shower had made me feel better than I had in awhile. I didn't want to leave that, but I figured I would be able to shower again tomorrow. I pulled the curtain back and reached for my towel. I dried myself off before putting on the cloths Mrs. Michalchuk had laid out for me. It was a baby blue jogging suit. It was obviously one of Paige's old ones. My heart started to pound a little faster. I couldn't believe I was here again and non the less, wearing her cloths. Something she had left behind, something that wasn't good enough to bring to Banting with her. Or there just wasn't room for it. Paige has millions of cloths. _Just can't bring 'em all._ I chuckled at the thought of Paige decided which cloths to bring with her. She was probably a joy to pack with.

After I finished combing my hair I went downstairs. Mrs. Michalchuk was in the kitchen cleaning up. I stood there for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say. It felt so awkward being here and my mouth was so dry my throat hurt. She finally turned around and noticed me.

"Hi." I said. My voice was so horse I wondered if she even heard it.

"Well hello there, dear." She said. She was smiling at me. "Well, do you feel better then?"

"Yes." I said. I wasn't sure if should go into detail about my shower. I decided not to.

"Here, I made you a sandwich. It's not a real dinner, I know, but we didn't..."

"No, that's fine." I interrupted. I could see the sandwich on the countertop and I went over to join it. I had eaten a few hours earlier, but the sandwich looked so good. I hadn't had a home cooked meal in awhile. Even if it was just a plain old turkey sandwich, I was actually flattered that Mrs. Michalchuk took the time to make it for me.

"I'm going to get some clean sheets to put on Dylan's bed, so when you're done eating you can go right to sleep." She said.

"Thanks." I replied in between a bite. The sandwich was toasted, which by the way, I do consider a hot meal.

She smiled at me before going up stairs. I finished my sandwich which settled nicely in my stomach. I was beginning to feel tired again and the thought of sleeping on a real bed was sounding so good. I decided to wait in the kitchen for a few moments. I didn't want to risk going upstairs just in case she wasn't finished with the sheets. I knew that would lead to awkwardness. The last few times I had seen Mrs. Michalchuk was when I was with Paige. She was just as caring then as she was now. She was a real mother figure, despite her obvious high taste in fashion. She had made me feel right at home then. Mrs. Michalchuk had never seemed to mind that Paige and I had been dating. Though, Paige and I had never been to publicly affectionate around her. So, I figured Mrs. Michalchuk never took our relationship to seriously. _Just girls dealing with teen pressure._ Though I never spoke more than I had to when I was in her presences, she never made me feel unwelcomed. Even now, I got the feeling she was enjoying taking care of. Her two children were grown up and gone. What's left for a mother to do?

I got up and washed my plate. I figured it was the least I could do. I then decided to go upstairs. Being alone downstairs was beginning to get to me. I took a moment to look at all the pictures of Paige on the wall. There was one picture in particular. The silver frame was shaped like a school bus and in the middle it had 12 slots for 12 small pictures. Below each slot was listed grades 1 through 12. In each slot was a picture of Paige. Paige in grade 1, grade 2, grade 3, and all the way to grade 12. _She was such a cute kid._ She looked so happy in each picture. The same smile on her face that she always used when she was posing for pictures. She was wearing something extremely cute in each picture. _The fashion obsession started young._ In her grade 6 picture she was wearing make-up. I don't know why but I had always preferred Paige without make-up. Perhaps I felt it made her look more real. _More human._ Despite Paige's inevitable popularity in High School, she had endured a lot. She had never tried to hide her failures either. It's what I liked about her. She would always own up to her faults and her difficulties. Popular people were supposed to be perfect but Paige wasn't and she admitted it. That's what I loved about her so much.

I finished my way to the top of the stairs and walked to Dylan's room. Mrs. Michalchuk had just finished putting the last sheets on and she was now unfolding the blankets.

"I'm almost finished. Come in dear. Come in." She motioned for me.

I walked over to the Dylan's old night stand. I noticed myself in the mirror. _God I look ridiculous in this blue outfit._ I guess Mrs. Michalchuk was able to read my mind, or my facial expression.

"You look cute, Alex. That shower and dinner did you good."

I folded my arms and smiled. I mouthed "thanks." but I guess I wasn't able to raise my voice to an audible level. I didn't even hear it.

"Well," Mrs. Michalchuk started as she finished putting the blanket on the bed, "I'll let you get some sleep now. Did you need to be up at a certain time tomorrow?"

"Um, no actually. I don't have to work tomorrow."

"Alright then." She walked over to the door. "Night sweetie."

"Good night." I replied. She closed the door on her way out and I could hear her going down the stairs. I took a moment to take in the room. Despite the fact I had been to Paige's house countless times, I had been in Dylan's room only a handful. Even then, I never paid much attention to it. The room itself was painted in a light shade of blue. It was just a little darker than the outfit I had on. The night stand and dresser were white. I thought the room itself was nicely decorated. I walked over to the bed and sat down. It was nirvana. The bed was so comfy. I got under the blankets and wrapped them tightly around me. It was only then that I remembered I left the light on. I gave a soft sigh and got up. I quickly hit the switch and jumped back into bed wrapping myself again in it's warmth.

I didn't fall asleep instantly. I've never been one of those people who can just go into a deep sleep. It always took me awhile. I would fall into a nice state of thought first. My mind started to wonder back to Paige and the school bus pictures. She really had been a cute kid. How long had I known her? I know we had been in the same class since grade 1. I remember in grade 3 we used to play tag in the school yard. It was me, Paige, Elli, and Ashley. We had all been friends then. We even had our own clique for a little while. Then Hazel had made her way into Paige's life and ruined it. They had been best friends ever since. Hazel had taken Paige away. It was only a year later that Paige started acting mean and distant. Not just to me, but everyone who wasn't considered part of the _in group_. It's funny how things change. When you're a kid, you'll be friends with everyone. Then you grow up and become difficult. It wasn't till grade 5 that I started to become a real social outcast. I had always been shy, but I wasn't a real trouble maker till the day I got in serious trouble for getting made a the yard duty and I stormed off the school grounds. I got suspended from school for a week and beating of a lifetime at home. Life can be a real bitch at times. I thought back to a conversation I had had with Paige. It was right after we started dated and we were talking about grade school and our younger years. She had brought up Heather Sinclair's 13 birthday party.

"Ah, that party was awful." I had said.

"Oh, tell me about it. The only highlight was when Heather Sinclair tried to do a cannon ball into the pull and her top ripped off." Paige had been talking in her chipper gossipy voice. I loved it when she used that voice. That was how I could tell she was enjoying the conversation.

"I remember that!" I chuckled, Heather must have been swimming around the pool for a good 20 minutes before she noticed. Somebody really should have said something." I had joked.

I had Paige laughing so hard she couldn't even respond. I loved to hear her laugh. I loved to know that I had made her laugh. After a moment Paige settled down and her face became straight.

"You know," She started looking a little bit in disbelief, "I don't remember you going to Heather Sinclair's 13 birthday party."

I smiled, thinking of the incident. "Yea, I was there. You don't remember? You cut in front of me for cake. And I quote, 'Losers really should wait their turn', were the exact words to come out of your mouth."

Paige looked away as if she were going to be sick. I could tell she felt bad. She couldn't even face me.

"I can't believe I said that. How awful." She started. Paige took my hand and looked directly into my eyes. "Alex, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it Paige. It was a long time ago." I tried to sound more cheery, but Paige only squeezed my hand tighter.

"No Alex. I was a real bitch to you." Paige had said. Her face was full of remorse. It almost made me feel bad. Paige was upsetting herself over things that I had forgiven a long time ago.

"It was a long time ago. And if I recall correctly, I hadn't been the nicest to you either." I had said trying to make her feel better, but obviously this was a subject Paige wasn't ready to drop.

"Yea, but only in self-defense. Everything I had done or said to you. And with your mom and her boyfriend to deal with. Alex I must have made your life hell."

"And now you make it heaven." I leaned in to kiss her. I had decided to go for the check instead of the lips. I could tell Paige had never realized before just how much of tyrant she had been. Paige knew she was mean, but I guessed she had never really thought about the effects her harsh words and actions actually had on people. As I started to pull back from the kiss, Paige advanced and our lips met.

"I'm going to make this up to you." She had said.

"You don't have to do that." I had told her. "It's fine. Everything is fine." She pulled back.

"No..." She paused. "It's not."

I can still see her face when she said that. Paige had a gift of being able to say more with her facial expression than with any words. Her face was full remorse and love at the same time. Her face was perfect. She was perfect. I freezed her facial expression in my mind and with her already in my dreams; I fell asleep.

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**Alright end of Chapter 3. I think I'm going to have Alex socialize a bit more in the next few chapters and have her build some character relationships. Updates might be a little slower because I haven't started Chapter 4 yet. If everything goes well though, I should have it up in a few days. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, I got this chapter up sooner than I expected. I was also hoping to cover more ground in this chapter than I actually did. I think it plays out alright though. I'm trying to develop Paige's parents characters. Also, I don't know their frist names are ever mentioned on the show. So I made them up. If anyone knows what their first names are supposed to be, let me know so I can change it. **

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Chapter 4

That was the best night of sleep I had ever had. The next morning when I woke up I had forgotten where I was. The covers were pulled over my head. I pulled them off and glanced around at the light blue painted room. It took me a moment before I remembered where I was; before I remembered what had happened last night. I replayed the events in my mind. Was I really at Paige's house again? Where we really broken up?

I looked at the clock, 7:30 A.M. _So early._ I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I pulled the blankets down to my waste and I immediately felt the chill of the house. Despite my urge to lie back down and drift back off to sleep, I got out of bed. I went downstairs only to find Mrs. Michalchuk and Mr. Michalchuk in the kitchen. Mrs. Michalchuk was busy eating pancakes, while Mr. Michalchuk was nibbling on some toast and scanning the newspaper.

"Would you look at this Maggie? A five year old expert violinist." Mr. Michalchuk looked at the paper in amazement.

"Well, look at that. And he will be in concert here at the end of the month. We should buy tickets." Mrs. Michalchuk replied.

"Right, sweetpee."

I started to edge closer into the kitchen. As Mr. Michalchuk was turning the page he glanced over in my direction.

"And to what do we owe this honor?" He said. He was grinning through his teeth.

"Morning." I replied. I gave a kind of half smile.

Mrs. Michalchuk returned my smile. "Come sit dear. I have breakfast all ready. And it's nice and hot. I would have woken you up, but I figured I'd just let you sleep."

I was suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that the smell of all this food made me so hungry. I quickly grabbed a chair and sat down.

"So, Alex. It's nice to see you again. How have you been?" Mr. Michalchuk asked.

I didn't really know how to respond to this question. I could say I've been doing good, but obviously that was a lie. I could say I was doing terrible, but I felt that would dampen the mood. I decided on an in-between response.

"Oh, I've been doing alright." I said in a mild tone.

Mr. Michalchuk gave a little chuckle. "Ah, a modest one this one is Maggie."

Mrs. Michalchuk came over and placed a hot plate of eggs, pancakes, and bacon in front of me. I couldn't recall ever seeing anything prettier. _Well except Paige of course._ "Thank you." I said and quickly dived right in.

"Uh, she is far from fine, Bill. She's been sleeping in a woman's shelter for a while now." Mrs. Michalchuk had spoken that sentence as if I had done something wrong.

"So I've heard." Replied Mr. Michalchuk. His voice was stern but I knew he was joking. He was looking directly at me but I could tell he was speaking to Mrs. Michalchuk. There were talking as if I wasn't there. Paige's parents were always strange like that. They were a joking sort of family. Maybe it's what I liked about them or maybe it was the fact they were an actual family. I didn't know. I had only ever really spoken to Mr. Michalchuk on special occasions. He was usually busy in his den or at the office. But the few times I did speak to him he was very friendly and welcoming. He was a very relaxed man and very intelligent. Maybe if there had been more men like him in my life I wouldn't have turned out to be a lesbian. _Or maybe not..._ I always felt Paige was extremely lucky to have a father like him. _Paige was lucky to have parents period._

"Now, what are we going to do about this little situation?" Mr. Michalchuk riddled. He was still holding his newspaper. I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. He was a pretty funny man.

"Alex." Mrs. Michalchuk voice was stern. She looked at me with stare that showed she was talking seriously now, "Bill and I have been talking and we decided that given the circumstances you can stay with us until you are able to find a place of your own." I hadn't expected that. I honestly didn't know what to expect. I really wasn't the kind of person who thought ahead. I lived in the moment. Had I honestly expected Mrs. Michalchuk to bring me home for one night of food and good sleep only to throw me out the next day?

"Mrs. Michalchuk, I don't want to be a bother." I stated. Like before, it felt awkward to just accept this.

"Oh, it won't be a bother." Mr. Michalchuk butted in. "In fact, it's been a little too quiet around here without any teenagers. We need a little insanity to keep our sanity. If you know what I mean." He gave another little chuckle before going back to his newspaper.

"Now really dear. You don't think I'm really going to let you go back to the shelter, do you?" Mrs. Michalchuk stated in that tone of voice I knew there was no arguing with.

"At least let me pay rent." I suggested. Despite the fact I grew up with nothing, I was far from a taker.

Mrs. Michalchuk turned her head in disgust. "Oh, don't you dare!" She exclaimed. "We have plenty of room for you and to be honest now, you're probably a lot cheaper than Paige. You're fine dear." She gave a small chuckle.

I was speechless. I could do nothing but look at her and nod. Mrs. Michalchuk gave a smile at my acceptance.

"Would you look at the time?" Mr. Michalchuk exclaimed, " I had better get going or I'm going to be late for work." He quickly folded his newspaper and finished the last of his toast. He put on his coat, grabbed his briefcase and swung by Mrs. Michalchuk for a kiss goodbye.

"Bye dear." He said as he gave her a quick peck on the check.

"See you tonight honey." She replied back.

Neither Mrs. Michalchuk or I moved or said a word until we heard the door shut behind him.

"Well then. You said you didn't have to work today?" Mrs. Michalchuk broke the silence.

"That's right." I replied. I was beginning to feel more comfortable around her now. Talking was becoming easier. I was finishing up my last piece of bacon as I answered.

"Would like more dear?" She replied as she noticed I had eaten the meal pretty quickly.

"No, that's okay. But thanks."

"Alright," She continued to her last point, "Anyway, that's good because I took the day off. I figured I can help settle you in. I also think tonight will be a good night to make a fancy dinner. As a kind of welcome you here thing."

"That sounds great." I replied. Despite the fact I was now talking louder and clearer, I didn't have a whole lot to add to my responses.

"Good." She said. "I washed your cloths. I just put them in the dyer. They should be finished soon. I also need to run some errands. I thought you could help me out. Speed up the process."

"That's cool." I said. I was started to sound more like myself now and not some robotic polite freak.

"I also figured if you had any items or such that needed to be picked up we could also do that then."

"Ummm..." I started. I wasn't sure I should go back to my apartment to pick up my things. I wasn't sure if I was going to be welcomed or allowed. Even if I was, it would be my mother begging me to come back. I couldn't deal with that. To be honest I didn't want to go back to my mother or Chad. I loved my mother, there was no question there. I just hated her lifestyle choice. Then I thought, if I go when no one was home. I could go in quickly and grab a few things and then be done. I still had my house key. Though, I still wasn't sure if that was going to work. Mrs. Michalchuk obviously realized she had caused me to go deep into thought.

"Oh well, whatever." She said, I could tell she was trying to drop the subject. "Anyway, I'm going to go wash up. You can just sit back and relax for a little bit. Then we'll go."

"Sounds good to me."

-------

**I had hoped to cover Alex moving in only a few paragraphs, but the I decided I should expand it into a chapter. I also have a good idea of where I'm going with my next chapter. It will probably be up in a day. Maybe even less. **

**And also, don't worry I haven't forgotten about Paige. It will still be awhile before she comes into the story as a main character, but I might have some more appearances from her here and there. So keep your eyes open. **


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter came a little easier than I thought it would. I'm really working on establishing a good relationship between Alex and Paige's parents. **

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Chapter 5

I spent most of the morning sitting around doing nothing. I skimmed through the newspaper Mr. Michalchuk had read earlier. Then went into the family room to watch a little television. As I sat on the couch, memories of Paige and I flooded my head. It was only months earlier that we would be haning out on a Friday night watching television. We kind of had a little game going. We would sit on the couch and pretend to be content, when really all we wanted to do was grab each other and makeout. We would see who could hold out the longest. We would usually only last about ten minutes before we were in some serious lip lock. It started to make my stomach hurt just thinking about. I wasn't sure if could deal with being here. Not if everything here made me miss Paige more than I already did. _Why can't I just get over her?_ I knew I couldn't leave. Mrs. Michalchuk would never allow it and I didn't have anywhere else to go. Since I was positive I never wanted set foot in the woman's shelter again; I was stuck here.

Around noon Mrs. Michalchuk decided we should get our errands done and over with. We got into the van I had come to know so well and set off.

"I was thinking I would run down to the post office first and mail off some bills then there are just a few items I need from the grocery store." Mrs. Michalchuk said

"That sounds fine to me." I replied feeling a little more lively. The boredom of my morning had made be somewhat eager to spend a little time outside the house.

"Then dear, did you want pick up your stuff?"

I thought for a moment. My mother and Chad should be at work assuming they still have their jobs. They were always bouncing around from job to job. I was pretty sure they both had someplace to be today. If not there was also the chance they were passed out. I decided there were a few things I wanted to get.

"Yes, actually could we swing my mom's apartment?" I said.

"Sure thing dear." Mrs. Michalchuk gave a small smile.

There was a brief silence between us before Mrs. Michalchuk started speaking again.

"I hope you don't mind me asking dear. But why aren't you living with your mother?"

I leaned my head against the van window and looked down at the moving pavement as we drove. "I got kicked out." I was hoping she would leave it at that. I didn't want to have to explain the reason.

"Why would a mother do such a thing?" Mrs. Michalchuk exclaimed. It sounded like she was talking more to herself than asking me. But when I didn't answer she gave me a quick glance.

"It wasn't my mother. It was her boyfriend." My tone had dropped a pitch. I was beginning to feel nervous. I hoped so desperately she didn't ask why Chad had kicked me out. I didn't want to have to explain about the drugs. I wasn't using but I didn't know if she would believe me. After all, it was me who talked her beloved daughter into getting stoned at a college fair. I had almost ruined her chances of getting into Banting. Paige had told her parents that is was her idea and I was just going along with it. I couldn't believe how selfless Paige could be, even back then. Even when it didn't matter if her parents liked me or not. Her parents had known I had a reputation as the bad ass, but Paige had changed that image for me. Now I am glad she did or I might not be sitting in this van right now.

"Why would your mother's boyfriend kick you out?" Mrs. Michalchuk had to ask the question. I was almost angry with her for going there. I didn't want to answer it. I just looked at her for a few seconds before turning away toward the car window again.

"Alex, I just want you to know that you are always welcome in our house. But you leave your street life at the door. Understand?" Mrs. Michalchuk spoke a voice that was stern but at the same time had a tenderness about it. I had never heard a tone like that before.

I turned to look at her. "I understand." I said in a voice that would let her know I was absolutely serious about what she had said. The rest of the ride to the post office was silent.

"Do you want to stop by your place now?" Mrs. Michalchuk said as we were leaving the post office.

I took a moment to go over everything in my mind. I was pretty sure there would be no one there. I could just run in and run out. "Yes." I finally said.

Mrs. Michalchuk nodded. I lead her all the way to my apartment. She had never been there before. It was usually Paige who would come to pick me up. I don't recall her mother being with her ever.

"It's this one right here." I said as I pointed to the old building I grew up in.

"Alright dear." She pulled over and put the van in park. "Should I come in with you?"

"No." I had said it so abruptly I realized I had almost yelled it. I calmed down the tone in my voice. "It's probably better if I go in alone. I'll be quick, I promise."

Mrs. Michalchuk gave me a look as if she didn't agree with waiting in the van but I could tell she wasn't going to push it. She wasn't at her house any more. She was in my world now and here I called the shots. Mrs. Michachuk gave a little sigh to acknowledge that she would wait in the van while I went in. I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and jumped out of the van. I looked up the building for a moment then around to make sure my mother or Chad were around on the streets anywhere. When I didn't see them I went inside the building.

This building held so many memories from my childhood. I didn't miss it though. I walked down the hall way to my door. I pushed my ear against the door to see if I could hear any voices. It seemed empty. I was pretty sure they were gone. I pulled out my key from my pocket and unlocked the door. I tried to be as quiet as I could as I gently cracked the door open a little to peek inside. It room was dark and empty. I opened the door a little more. _Nothing. They are gone._ I squeezed through the cracked door and inside my apartment. I didn't even take a moment to look around, I just headed straight back to my room. My room had been left untouched. I grabbed an old duffle back I had laying in the back of my closet and started shoving clothes and items into it. I grabbed a few CDs and some jewelry. I only had one pair of shoes and I was were them. I grabbed an old hat that I really liked. I looked under my bed and grabbed an old journal that I used to keep. I then went over to dresser and started to empty it. I stuffed my socks and undergarments in the bag with out even bother to fold them. I then started to go through the drawers one by one to make sure I hadn't missed anything I wanted to take. I opened one of the top drawers and stopped for a moment. It was still there. Right were I left it. My diploma. I picked it up and looked at it for a moment. I pulled out my journal and tucked it neatly inside before nicely putting it back in to my bag. When I felt sure I had grabbed everything I wanted or needed I left. I ran by the bathroom real quick to get some of my makeup, my toothbrush, and few other personal items before darting back out the door. I didn't feel safe again till I was back in Mrs. Michalchuk and we were driving away.

"Get everything you need?" She said to me.

"Yea," I replied. "I think I have everything." There was a moment of silence before I decided to speak again. "I just want you to know how thankful I am you are doing this for me." I hold her. It was hard for me to get the words out. I felt awkward saying them but I knew I should.

Mrs. Michalchuk smiled warmly, "Oh, It's no trouble dear. I'm always happy to lend a helping hand. Now I'm just going to run by the grocery store and pick up some things for dinner and we can head back home.

"That sounds wonderful." I said. I was smiling.

-----

Mrs. Michachuk pulled into the parking lot of a the grocery store. It was called _Friends with Food_. I rolled my eyes at the name.

"Well then, " She started, "I just have a few things we need to get, so we'll make this quick."

"Okay." I said as I started unbuckling my seatbelt. I had never been to this store before, but I liked it. Despite the fact it was meant to be just a friendly neighborhood store, it was pretty big. I pushed the shopping cart as we strolled through the store. Every now and then Mrs. Michalchuk would stop and study an item. She would say "Well, it's on the list...but..." then she would throw it in the cart. I got a little chuckle everything she did that. I couldn't help but think how lucky she was to be able to even buy things that weren't on her list. I used to remember when I was younger and I would go shopping with my mother. My mother would look at an item then glance at her list and say, "You don't like milk do you Lexi? We can do without it this month." I almost felt like I was in a different world now, but I liked this world.

"Lets just go down this isle. I need to get some canned fruit." Mrs. Michalchuk pointed in the direction she wanted me to turn. I obeyed. We strolled down the isle, despite the fact she had said she wanted to make this quick we seem to both be taking our time. We stopped at the canned fruits and she went over all the different kinds they had.

"Umm...lets see. Peaches, cantaloupe, grapefruit. Bananas? Hmm...that's new." She examined each can before placing them into the cart. I wasn't sure if should help. I didn't know what she was looking for.

"Maggie?" I heard a voice call. I didn't kno who's it was. I saw Mrs. Michachuk turn away from the cans as she looked at the woman who was quickly moving up to her.

"Maggie!" She said again.

"Well hello there Janet!" Mrs. Michachuk exclaimed. They grabbed each other for a quick hug.

"How have you been?" Janet asked.

"Oh, I've been doing good. Paige is off at college now."

"Oh really. She's going to Banting?"

"Yes."

"Oh, how is she liking it?"

"Oh she's loving it. Having the time of her life."

My stomach dropped at those last words. Despite the fact I wanted Paige to be happy, I couldn't stand she was having all this fun..._without me._

"Oh that's wonderful." I heard Janet say. I had started to wonder off a little bit. I decided I didn't want to get in the way of their conversation...especially if they were talking about Paige. I shoved my hands in pocket and started to hum a little to myself as I started to stroll down the isle. I hadn't gotten very far when Mrs. Michalchuk finally noticed me again.

"Oh, Janet...This is Alex." Mrs. Michachuk said as she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back to the conversation.

"Hello there, Alex." Janet smiled at me. She was tall and thin and her fashion taste looked about the same as the Michalchuk's. She was covered in jewelry. Every time she moved you could here her bracelets clash together and she smelled strongly of vanilla.

"She's an old family friend. She'll be staying with us for awhile. " Mrs. Michachuk stated. I couldn't even describe the feeling I felt at the words _an old family friend._ I wasn't just a friend of Paige. I was a friend of the family. I don't know why, but something about those words made me feel a little chipper. In fact so chipper that I was almost felt like talking now.

"Hi." I said, I was almost amazed at myself for sounding so friendly as I said it. Janet gave me a little smile.

"Well, you make sure you keep Maggie and Bill in line now. They need a little discipline." Janet gave a little laugh.

"Will do." I replied.

"Well," Mrs. Michachuk interrupted, "It was nice seeing you again Janet, but Alex and I must be going now. But we will have to have lunch sometime."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful." Janet exclaimed.

"Great, I'll give you a call then."

"Bye-bye."

And with that we strolled away. Mrs. Michalchuk and I checked out and headed back home. It was late afternoon by the time we returned and I was feeling a little tired, but I told Mrs. Michalchuk I would help her prepare dinner. I went back up to Dylan's room to change first. I felt so yucky in these clothes. I grabbed my duffle back with all my possessions and pulled out a white tank top and a clean pair of jeans. It just felt good to be in different clothes. I decided I would unpack all my other possessions later. I didn't feel like dealing with it at the moment. After I changed I went downstairs to help with dinner. Mrs. Michalchuk and I chatted a little while I was cutting up the tomatoes and she was cooking the meat. She was making spaghetti. With the smell of the sauce it didn't take me long to get hungry. By the time Mr. Michalchuk came home, the table had been set and dinner was ready to serve. He walked through the door and gave Mrs. Michalchuk a kiss on the lips. It was so great to see affection like that. So subtle and gentle, but it was love nevertheless. I really enjoyed being in their company. I had started to space out when Mr. Michalchuk turned at looked at me.

"Now who is this lovely young lady sitting at the table all by herself?" I couldn't help but smile at his words. Mrs. Michalchuk could only roll her eyes and sigh.

Mr. Michalchuk walked over to the end of the table. He put his hands in the back of the chair. "May I?" He asked. I gave off a little chuckle

"You may." I said trying to hold back my laughter.

Mr. Michalchuk pulled the chair out and sat down.

"Well then, let's get dinner started." Mrs. Michalchuk said as she grabbed the bowel with the spaghetti in it. I pulled my chair back as I started to get up to help.

"Sit." She said in her stern voice she seemed to love to use. I quickly took my seat again. My whole motion must have looked funny because Mr. Michalchuk started to laugh.

He leaned into me, "Maggie likes to fly solo." He grinned and than readjusted himself in his chair. I shook my head at his comment. _He really was a funny man._

After all the food was on the table Mrs. Michalchuk took her seat.

"Well then," She started, "Our first dinner here together."

"And I just would like to say." Mr. Michalchuk interrupted, "that I am a very lucky man to be sitting her having dinner with the two most beautiful woman in the world." He raised his glass at that.

"Oh Bill." Mrs. Michalchuk started. She was trying to hide that fact she was flattered.

Mr. Michalchuk smirked at her. "Well Maggie, it's true."

I smiled at their conversation. _They were a cute couple._ I hoped I could someday have what they have.

The spaghetti was the best I had ever tasted and eating dinner with the Michalchuks was very interesting. As Mr. Michalchuk talked about his day at the office, he would make different voices for each co-worker he was imitating. It was very amusing. They would joke and laugh. I even joined in from time to time. There were only a few times in my life I can recall feeling truly lucky. This was one of them.

--------------------------

**Okay. I'm think in the next chapter I am going to start have Alex interact with more than just the Michalchuks. But don't worry they will still be in it. :D I seem to be able flow through these chapter pretty easy, so chapter 6 might be up sometime tonight. If not, I'm pretty sure it will be up tomorrow then. **


	6. Chapter 6

**This is really just a build up chapter for what's going to happen in the next chapter or two. I haven't decided how I'm going to break it down yet. I know a lot of you want Paige to hurry up and be in the story. I had hoped to get some Paige time in this chapter, but decided to save her as I thought of a better use for her in the next one. So she will definitely be making her way into it in Chapter 7, but not as a main character. Like I said before. Alex still has some growing to do. There are still a few more big events I want to cover before I bring Paige in...but don't worry. It won't be to much longer. Just remember, some of the things that are going on now will be important later in the story. **

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Chapter 6

The next two months floated by like a dream. November had brought Fall to come in full force. The air was crisp and chilly as the leaves changed colors and died. Fall was my favorite season. I loved seeing the colors of the leaves change. They would start to turn a dark shade of yellow, then orange, before going a light color of brown and finally fall off the tree. To most people Fall represented the time to prepare for the Winter Season. For me, Fall was about starting over new. Just like the trees that shed their leaves every year only to grow new ones in the spring. I had come across an old camera in the attic one weekend when Mr. Michalchuk had asked me to help clear some boxes. They were getting ready to hold their yearly yard sale. When he saw me with it he had told me he had bought that camera when Dylan was born.

"I wanted to capture every moment of him." Mr. Michalchuk had said. "When you have a child every moment is special and you want to save them all."

I could only look at him and smile. He could tell I didn't understand what it was like to feel that way, "One day, you'll know what I mean." He finished

I had focused my attention back on the camera. I wiped off some dust and started to fidget with it's buttons. I don't know why this camera had my attention so much. I hadn't noticed Mr. Michalchuk examining me with the camera. I had forgotten he was there until he spoke.

"You know, I don't really need that camera anymore." He began, "You can have it if you want. It will only cost you a hug." He grinned.

I couldn't help but smile. I got up and we shared a small hug before he pulled away, "Well then," He said as he grabbed the camera away from me. "Let's make sure this old thing still works. I think I have some old film for it in here." He reached down into the box and pulled out the camera case I had found the camera in. From inside the case he pulled out a small tube of film.

"Ah, here it is. Let's just put that in there." He fidgeted with the camera for a moment. "There!" He exclaimed.

"Now, let's just pull this back and..." _click...click...click..._ "Well, everything seems to be in order." He finished before handing it to me.

"Thanks." I had said before taking the camera.

I had spent most of my free time since then taking pictures of whatever I thought held beauty. I mostly captured stills of leaves blowing in the wind. Sometimes I would get a snap of our next door neighbor, Mrs. Gilbertson's, Cheshire cat or random people out for a walk. Every time I took a picture I felt I was freezing time and stealing a moment that I could keep all to myself. I was still working full time at the mall and looking for a place. Every morning I looked through the classifieds for any apartment openings. Everything was either to expensive for me to afford or was according to Mrs. Michalchuk "In an dangerous area."

"We can't have you moving into filth." She had said when I had mentioned a small flat downtown. "No. No. Keep looking."

She never seemed to rush my moving out. Sometimes I even got the hint that she didn't really want me to move. They never acted like I was a bother. I felt more at home here that I had ever felt anywhere else. I couldn't disagree. I didn't want to leave either.

I knew Mrs. Michalchuk had spoke to Paige on the phone a few times since I had moved in and I was pretty sure Paige was fully aware of the situation. Though I didn't know how Paige felt about it. Mrs. Michalchuk never got into detail about their conversations and I would never ask.

"Oh, Paige is so stressed with midterms and papers." Mrs. Michalchuk would go on.

Sometimes I would wonder if Paige ever missed me? I'm sure she thought at about me. _But did she miss me?_ I don't know why I even worried about it. I had gotten the idea of us getting back together out of my head back in the beginning of summer. _So why couldn't I get over her?_ I hadn't even liked anyone since Paige. Despite the fact we weren't together, it still felt like I was being dishonest or being disloyal. I thought I had started to develop a _crush_ on one of our regular customers, but I wasn't sure and it didn't feel I was ready to explore it.

"Are you working a full day today, Alex?" Mrs. Michalchuk said one morning at breakfast.

"Uh, no. Only half. I'll be home in the afternoon. Was there something you needed done?" I asked. By this time I was almost completely comfortable around both Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk.

"No sweetie." She said, but then paused as she seemed to have had an afterthought, "Well, if you want to start dinner. That would be great." She finished.

"Yea, no problem. I'll cook you up something real good." I smirked.

Mr. Michalchuk chuckled from behind his newspaper. "I'll be sure to put the fire department on speed dial." He said.

"Hey!" I joked back. "I'm not that bad at cooking!"

"Of course not." He peeked from behind the paper.

Mrs. Michalchuk just shook her head.

-------

I had always been indifferent about work. I never wanted to go, but money was always a good thing and I wanted to make lots of that. I knew with the Christmas season fast approaching this would be one of the last days I would only be working a half day. This was the time of year the malls became overcrowded with busy shoppers trying to find the _perfect _gifts for their _loved ones._ I had just finished a transaction with a customer and was putting some cloths back on the rack when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey." I heard. I turned around to see Ellie standing in front of me.

"Hey." I replied in what I thought was a friendly voice than what I usually spoke in.

She bobbed up and down a little as to suggest a hug: I gave in.

"I heard you were working here and I have been meaning to come over and see how you are." Ellie said.

I couldn't help but smile. "I've been doing good." It was the first time in a while I had been able to say that honestly. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm good. It's good to see you."

"Yea you too." I could tell after that, conversation was beginning to drag. I was getting the feeling we were about to wrap up this little chit chat. I was wrong.

"So are you still living at home?" Ellie started, "Or have you moved out like you said you wanted to?"

"No, I moved out a few months ago." I said.

"That's cool. Were do you live now? I'll have to come check out this new place of yours sometime."

I almost laughed at the thought of saying it. I had never really thought about how funny it would sound. "I live at Paige's house." The words sounded foreign to me,

"What?" Was her instant response.

"They let me move in with them a few months ago." I told her.

"Really?" She said in disbelief.

"Yep."

"Are you and Paige...?"

"No."

"So you're just..."

"Yep." At every word she said I wanted to talk about this subject less and less.

Ellie finally shrugged and shook her head, "Okay then. Whatever works."

"It's better than it sounds. The are pretty cool people. I like them." I replied.

Ellie looked away for a second as if to take it all in. Then she turned to look at me again.

"You know, we should have lunch sometime." Ellie said.

"Yea, that would be good."

"Maybe Saturday at the Dot?" Ellie suggested.

"Yea, that would be perfect. Say noonish?" I added.

"Perfect," She smiled. "I'll see you then."

I don't know why but that conversation with Ellie had really brightened my day. It had been months since I'd really spoken to anyone outside the Michalchuks. I had been so busy working and taking pictures I had almost forgotten there was a world outside of that. I had never thought anything special of Ellie, but she was a really good friend. It made me wish I had been a little nicer to her in High School. Sometimes I wish I had been nicer in High School period. _ No going back now._

-------

When I got off work I headed straight _home_. When I got there I went immediately up to _my room_. I grabbed my camera and went back outside. The sky was nicely organized over the sky so that you could see the rays of sun falling to earth. They were falling down onto the tree in our front yard. I don't know why but I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. _Well except for Paige of course._ I took a few different shots of it, from a few different angles. I wanted to capture this image and keep it with me forever. When I thought I had enough shots of the tree, I went back inside to start the dinner I had promised to cook for Mrs. Michalchuk. As I was chopping the onions I remembered what Mr. Michalchuk had said this morning.

"_I'm not going to burn anything." _I thought chuckling to myself.

--------------

**I thought it was about time Alex started interacting with some other people besides the Michalchuks. There will be at least one other character from Degrassi in the next chapter. Maybe more. I already pretty much know what's going to happen in the next chapter. I'm just working the details out now. I might have to break it into two chapter depending on how long it is. I should have chapter 7 and maybe 8 (depending on how it goes) up tonight or tomorrow.**


	7. Chapter 7

**And oh, I just thought I would remind everyone I DO NOT own Degrassi or the characters in anyway and I never will. **

**Again, longer than I had expected. There were a few things I only wanted to gloss over, but I decided against it. So, I not going to gave anything away about this chapter. You're just going to have to read and find out. **

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Chapter 7

I didn't know why but for the rest of the week I looked forward to having lunch with Ellie. It had been forever since I'd hung with friends. Everyone seem to have moved away or I wasn't on talking grounds with them anymore. Things really do change after high school. Everyone grows up and moves on. _Well...not everyone. I at least grew up._ More and more I had slowly been feeling better about my life. Just happier I guess. Even when I had been dating Paige, I still felt like my life was nothing. Though Paige made me happy in the moment; she didn't do much to brighten my future. I hated thinking about my future. I always figured I would just be like my mom. _A nothing._ Though I still didn't know what was going to happen. _I could still turn in to my mother. Maybe I could become some better? _If anything, I at least felt that despite the harsh realities the world held, I would now have a safe haven to return to.

Friday night at the Michalchuk's were usually uneventful. Sometimes they would just sit around the house and watch television or play a board game or sometimes they would go out dinner or to a show. Tonight we all sat around the table and played monopoly.

"Alright, that's one...two...three...four...five..." Mr. Michalchuk examined the board, "Alright, who owns the Railroad crossing?"

"That would be me." I stated.

Mr. Michalchuk gave me a stern look, "Well ma'am, I am going to need to see some proof."

"Right here." I held my deed up in front of him and he inspected it. He read the front and then examined the back. He then bit down on the card.

"Yep. It's the real deal." He said. He handed the card back to me.

"Eww.." I joked, "I don't want it now."

"Well, if you're insisting I keep it." He started to take back the card.

"No, I'm insisting you pay your debt." I joked back raising my voice to try to sound serious.

Mr. Michalchuk looked insulted for a second before shaking his head, "Well, you're a tough one. Have ever considered a job in the Mafia?"

I tried to stay serious but I couldn't help but smile. Mr. Michalchuk began to count his money, "Okay...now how much do I owe you. $100?"

I nodded.

"Alright, let's see...that's 5...10..20...45..." He was moving unbelievably slow.

I glanced over at Mrs. Michalchuk, who's patience seemed have vanished.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Bill! Give her the money!" She yelled, obviously unamused by his joking.

At her words Mr. Michalchuk sped up his counting and handed me the money, which I graciously took.

"Thank you." I said in a tone that was an octave higher than my normal speaking voice.

Mrs. Michalchuk gave out a sigh of annoyance as she shook her head. I looked at her and then Mr. Michalchuk. It was only a few second later we were all laughing again. There really were an interesting couple.

-------

That night I lied in bed thinking about lunch tomorrow. Maybe I started to think to much. _Have I really reduced my life to looking forward to meals with people? _I guess so. My feeling were always so mixed. Sometimes I felt happy and other times I felt so alone. My mind started to drift to Paige again. _It usually did._ My stomach started to fill with butterflies at the thought of her. The feeling soon turned to emptiness. _I missed her...so much._ I wondered what she was doing right now. Maybe she was studying. Freaking about some stupid exam. I imagined her going into one of her babbling tantrums. _She was always so cute when she babbled._ It was a habit I knew annoyed people like Hazel and even Marco at times. I wondered if she was in bed right now trying to sleep, like me. I wondered if images of me filled her head. _Maybe images of someone else?_ My stomach knotted at the thought. I hurt to think about it but I couldn't get that idea out of my head. _Why did I let her go?_ I was such an idiot. I wanted to tell her that. I wanted to tell her how I felt but I knew I couldn't. It was to late now. Even if I did what were the chances of her still feeling the same way? The odds of us ever getting back together were against me. She had truly been the love of my life. _Was I hers?_ No, I probably didn't even compare with Spinner or Matt. _Maybe?_ My heart started to ache. I didn't even try to hold back the tears as I cried myself to sleep.

-------

The morning crept through my room slowly as the sun began to rise. It gleamed through my window blinding me through my eyelids. I immediately pulled the covers over my head. It didn't do any good. I was already awake. I looked at the clock 7:23 a.m. _On a Saturday..._ I angrily hopped out of bed. It was freezing. I grabbed one of Dylan's old robes and put it on and went downstairs.

I pretty much lounged around all morning. I watched television with Mr. Michalchuk. It was some cheesy made for tv movie. In between commercials we would toss an old hacky sack back and forth. Why? _I don't know._ Around 11:30 I left for the Dot. It was very cold outside now and I made a mental note to myself to buy a better coat. I arrived at the Dot at noon. I took a booth seat in the back. I hoped Ellie wouldn't be to late. I decided to glance at the menu to pass the time. Ellie showed up about five minutes later. I felt a sigh of relief when I saw her walk through the door. I don't know, maybe I was just paranoid, but I had been like that my whole life. I almost expected people to let me down. Ellie looked around for a moment before spotting me. She ran right over.

"Hey!" She said as she slid in the seat opposite of me.

"Hey." I replied.

"It's so chilly outside." Ellie was rubbing her arms trying to warm up.

"Tell me about it."

"So," Ellie started, "How is everything with uh...your living arrangements?" She sound like she wasn't sure if she should ask the question.

I gave a small laugh to show it didn't bother me. "It's fine." I said. "They really are a great family."

"Is it weird at all?" Ellie seemed more comfortable asking now.

"The first few weeks were surreal, but everything is relaxed now."

She nodded her head. She seemed to be working up the courage to ask her next question, "So, do you still talk to Paige?"

I scratched my head, "Uh...no...nope. Not really." I tried to sound like my answer didn't bother me.

There was an awkward moment of silence. I decided to change the direction of the conversation. I felt if Ellie kept pushing the subject of Paige I would start to break down and cry. I really wasn't in the mood to cry.

"So, how are you? Lemme in the on the goods." I said trying to brighten the moment.

"Things are good. I'm taking some time off school right now. So I've just been working and hanging around with Jimmy, my only friend left in the world."

"Hey that's not true. I'm your friend too." I smiled

Ellie returned it, "Right, my second only friend in the world." She rolled her eyes.

I laughed at her comment.

"So, what looks good?" Ellie held up the menu to read their choices.

"Everything."

The rest of the lunch went well. We talked and caught up on old times. I even apologized for being such a cruel bitch as we reminisced about our time at Degrassi. We parted with a hug and a promise to hang out more. I really hoped she had meant it. That afternoon I left the Dot feeling slightly better than I had been. Ellie had done a lot to brighten my mood and take my mind off Paige for a little while. As I started to walk home I started thinking off all the times Paige and I would come here after school to grab something to eat before work. _Those were good times. _But they would never happen again. At the thought I instantly regressed into my old state of being. I decided however to stroll around little. Instead of going straight I made a left into the alleyway behind the dot. Despite the fact it was dirty, it was always a peaceful place for me. Not a lot of people wandered back here and I had spent many hours here just thinking. _Thinking about everything...except my future._ I shook my head and tried to push Paige from my mind. I tried to think about today and lunch with Ellie. It helped a little. I glanced a little farther down into the alleyway, no one was there. I pondered for a moment, if I should go down it. I decided not. I think I had walked far enough down memory lane today. I turned around to start to walk back. _And of course. _

"Lexi!"

Standing right smack in the middle of my way was Jay. He had a natural talent of showing up at exactly the wrong moment.

"Hey, how have you been?" He was smiling broadly, which of course meant he could be up to no good.

I gave a sigh to signal my utter annoyance, "And just when I thought you had fallen off the face of the planet."

"I thought we were over our hard feelings." Jay looked surprised at my insult.

The day I had broken up with Paige was the day Jay and I had almost become friends again. We had kind of come to an understanding. Despite the fact I'd admit to not hating him, he was still one of the last people I wanted to be around.

"We are, Jay." I said sounding quite frustrated. I really wasn't in the mood to chit chat with anyone. "Did you need something?"

"Naw, I just saw you and thought _as a friend_ I would come over and say hi." Jay edged in closer to me and dropped his tone to almost a whisper, "You're still a lesbian?"

With those last words I had just about had it, "Yes, Jay! I am _still_ a lesbian. That hasn't changed. It's not going to change. Biologically speaking, it can't change!"

Jay backed away, "Right then." He reverted back to his playful self. "So you got any plans for tonight?"

"Jay, did you not just hear me?"

"Lexi, not like that. Come on. I thought were going to be friends."

I was really losing my temper now.

"Look," He started, "There is this going to be party tonight at the Ravine. It's supposed to be hot."

"Jay..." I started but was cut off.

"Just saying, if you're looking for a good time. You look like you could use one." He gave a shrug.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Go away Jay."

He started to back off, "Okay, but if you change your mind."

"I won't."

He gave me one of his nasty little grins before turning around and disappearing behind a cornor. Jay always did have a boyish charm about him and I'd even admitted that's what I had liked about him when we were dating. As sweet as he could be, he could equally be the same as an asshole. I decided after that meeting to go straight home. I was only 2 o'clock and I hadn't a clue what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I figured I would just watch some television or find something new to take a picture of. I had started to compile a scrapbook of all the pictures I had taken to keep everything organized. I sometimes felt my scrapbook was the only thing keeping me sane.

I finally reached my house and pulled out my key. Mrs. Michalchuk had given me my own key to the house a month ago. The more I lived with them, the less I felt like a house guest and the more I felt like part of the family. It was a nice feeling to finally belong. Though, I would always find the situation ironic. To be trying so hard so get away from Paige and becoming so close to her loved ones at the same time. I unlocked the door and went inside. The house was quiet. I went into the kitchen to see if anyone was there. All I found was a note.

"Went out to run some errands and pick up something for dinner. Will be back later. love, Mrs. Michalchuk."

I read the note a few times out of habit to make sure I had read correctly. I assumed she had brought Mr. Michalchuk with her. _I guess I have the house to myself._ I felt like I needed the peace for awhile anyway. I went into the family room, laid across the couch and turned on the television. As I watched some show travel show about France, my eyes slowly started to became heavy until I closed my eyes and didn't open them again.

------

_Ring..Ring...Ring.._

I stretched out a little trying to pull myself back to consciousness. I rubbed my eyes.

_Ring...Ring...Ring.._

I sat up and looked at the phone. I reached over to get it. Cursing to myself.

"Hello?" I said. I was still only half awake.

There was silence on the other end.

"Hello?" I said again. This time more forcefully.

"Hello?" I heard the voice on the other end reply back. I Instantly recognized it.

"Paige?" I questioned, though I already knew.

"Hey." She replied back. My heart sank.

"Hi." I said back. I didn't know what else to say. My stomach was beginning to ache and my heart was pounded so hard I could hear it.

There was a moment of silence again on the phone. Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was searching for words to say.

"Um..." She began, "Is my mother there?"

"Uh, no. She went out. Um, she said she would be back later." My throat was dry and my voice was scratchy as I spoke. _Silence again_. "So yea." I filled the gap.

I could hear her breathing now. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think of anything to say. My heart was racing and I felt as if I were going to be sick. Of all the things I had wanted to say to Paige, not a single one entered my mind as I was on the phone with her. _Did she have anything she wanted to say to me?_

"Oh," She finally began. "Uh, alright then. Well...bye." Her voice sound distant and cold.

I didn't know what else to say except, "Bye."

_Click_. I knew she was gone. I kept the phone up to my ear for a second. _Was I really just speaking to her? _I finally hung up the phone. I looked at the clock. It was 4:34.

_She didn't even sound like was glad to be to talking to me. She didn't seem liked she cared._ It felt like all those questions I had been pondering had been answered. _She was over me._ It didn't even seem like she cared about me at all anymore. I refused to cry, though I was on the verge. My stomach ached worse than ever. I felt so empty and alone. My emptiness slowly turned to anger. _Who was I angry at? Paige? Or myself?_ I didn't know. I just knew I needed to get out. I needed to get away to think. To figure things out. _No...stop figuring._ I couldn't think. I grabbed my coat and left the house, slamming the door on my way out.

---------------------

**So, as promised I brought another Degrassi character into play. I also hope to have Ellie in the story some more as well as a few more characters. And also as promised Paige did have a small appearance. I'm sorry If you were wishing for something more major from her. But again don't worry. I'm just not ready to bring Paige in full force yet. **

**Okay, now depending on how chapter 8 and 9 go. I might have to revise this chapter. But I don't expect to. Everything seems to be working fine. I hope to have chapter 8 up within a day. **


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't really have must to note about this chapter. Just read. This chapter turned out to be a little more complicated than I had expected. Also, it's not exactly what I wanted, but if I don't post it I will spend the next year trying to get it perfect. I may go back and revise this chapter later if I feel it's necessary. But for now I'm pleased with it and chapter 9. **

**-------**

Chapter 8

As I stormed off from the house, tears started to run down my check. I quickly wiped them away. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was going. I just knew I need to get out of that house. I needed to walk, to feel like I was going somewhere. Suddenly, I was filled with a burst of energy. I was practically jogging. I tried so hard to stop thinking of my conversation with Paige, it only intensified my pain. It was dark out now and the street lights were coming on. There was a light breeze that only added to the already chilly evening. It didn't bother me though. The cold matched my mood perfectly. I didn't know where I was walking. I thought about going to Ellie's. _But for what?_ I realized I had never really discussed my feelings for Paige after we had broken up. I thought if I went there I would have too and Paige was the last person I wanted to think about right now. I felt like all the feelings and insecurities I had bottled up for so long were now ready to burst open. I just wanted to go somewhere were I didn't have to talk about her. Somewhere would I could drown my feelings away.

----

The air was crisp and the music was loud. People were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. The Ravine had always served as a place for hardcore partiers. It was the cities most popular hook-up spot, it was were the bad boys hung, and were the drug dealers did business. It was reckless and wild and were I found myself. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't even want to be here, but I didn't have anywhere else to go. Here I wouldn't have to think or talk about Paige. No one would care. I walked through the grass field through an ocean of people. They all looked happy and carefree. _I wish I was them._ My eyes were stinging from the cold air and my head started to hurt. I didn't it bother me though.

"I thought you said you weren't going to change your mind?" I heard.

"I didn't. I still don't want to be here." I replied

"But you are." Jay said back.

"I am." I said. We looked at each other for a moment. Then Jay handed me a bottle of whisky.

"A drink?" He asked.

I took the bottle and looked at it for a moment before unscrewing the cap and taking drink from it. The alcohol burned as it went down my throat. It didn't bother me. I took a moment for the burning to subside before taking another drink. I handed the bottle back to Jay and he took a drink.

"Now isn't this fun?" He asked.

"Jay." I replied.

"You wanna dance?"

"No."

"Lexi. Common. Stop being so angry and lighten up." He took a step closer to me placing his hand on my hip. I pushed him back grabbing the bottle of whisky at the same time and stormed off.

"Lexi! Lexi!" I head him yell. I ignored him.

I took one drink after another. Slowly I started to feel better. I started to feel happier. I wasn't feeling cold anymore. I was feeling content and amused. I watched a couple make-out for awhile. I could only stair and laugh. Everyone once in a while I would make inappropriate comments. They didn't notice. I didn't care. After I had finished the entire bottle of whisky I got up and complemented myself on my high alcohol tolerance. I felt a sudden burst of energy and decided I needed something to do. Or more alcohol. I needed one of them. I looked around and found a few people sitting around a bonfire drinking. I decided to go over to them and ask them for their drinks.

"Hey...hey...hey..." I said. My voice hadn't started to slur yet. I took a seat next go a guy who was enjoying what looked like a bottle of vodka.

He looked me up and down. He noticed my eyes on his drink and he handed it over to me. I graciously took it. I took a few big gulps.

"Whoa there." He said, "Slow down." He grabbed the bottle back.

"Hey, give that back."

"Not so fast there pretty lady." He grinned at me as he edged in closer to me. "You want the bottle?" He leaned in closer to me. His hand caressed my check and over my hair before sliding down my arm and grabbed my hand. I hadn't noticed though, my attention was on something else. He tugged at my arm.

"Lets go some place more quiet." He started to get up, "And I'll give you the bottle." He got up, pulling me up with him. He started to lead me away but suddenly I jerked away from him. He looked little surprised but my attention wasn't focused on him. My attention was focused on some long blonde haired girl sitting on a tree branch poking at the fire. Maybe I was just really drunk. _I probably was._ But she looked remarkable like Paige. I walked over to her. She looked up at me at the cast of my shadow. She didn't seem drunk.

"You know," I said as I sat down beside her. She just looked at me. "you made me very upset today." My voice was slurring now.

She was looking at as if I were insane. She didn't know what to say.

"You know...there were so many things I wanted to tell you. And I got the chance. I just blew it. I'm such an idiot."

"Um..." She began, she seemed totally clued out.

"Do don't even care do you?" I started shaking my head.

"You know." She said. She was being very careful of her words. "I should go."

"You always go don't you? Things get tough and you leave for Banting."

She slowly started to edge away from me.

I was beginning to cry now I could feel the tears leave my eyes. I tried to hold it back. "I just wanted to figure things out. You put so much pressure on me. I shouldn't have over reacted like that."

I was beginning to look scared now she stood up and started to leave, but I grabbed her.

"Don't leave! Not again! Please!" I cried.

"Get off me!" She yelled

"No Paige! Wait! Just wait!"

She was hitting me now trying to get me to let go.

"Let go of me! Help!"

I was pulling her back down. I could feel her nails dig into my hand as she tried to get me to let go. I didn't bother me though, because all I was feeling at the moment was pain. She finally pushed her foot against my hip and the force of her push caused me to instantly release her. I fell back against the ground crying. I felt empty and alone.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "I'm sorry. Paige. I'm sorry." I laid on the ground sobbing. The warmth from the fire was making me comfortable and sleepy. I started to drift when I was yanked back up to my feet.

"What are you doing!?" I heard. My eyes were out of focus and I tried desperately to straighten my vision. Jay had me by the arm.

"Where did you go?" He said. His voice was stern.

"Non of your business Jay." I replied. Even drunk, he carried the same appeal.

"Did you drink that whole bottle?" He asked

"And more!" I replied. The thought of booze lightened my mood. "We should get some more."

"No. We should get you out of here."

"Don't tell me what to do. You're not my girlfriend."

He pulled me by the arm, "Lexi, lemme take you home."

"No!" I yelled pulling away, "I came here to forget about Paige and that is e-x-a-c-t-l-y w-h-a-t I'm g-o-i-n-g t-o d-o." I was half singing, half talking now.

"You're drunk and you're going to get yourself hurt."

_Did Jay actually sound concerned? _

"Jay, leave me alone."

Jay grabbed me by the arm again. "We leave now." His voice was forceful but I didn't care. I broke free of his grip again.

"Y-o-u n-e-e-d t-o l-e-a-v-e." I knew I was so wasted but I didn't care. I turned away from him and took off.

"Lexi!" He tried to follow me but I lost him in the darkness.

I was all by myself again. I didn't know what to do. _Should I go back to the fire? It was warm. Naw…mabye I'll look for some more alcohol. _My head was hurting worse now, but I ignored it. I walked by some trees were some men were joking and drinking. As I walked by they started making obscene jesters. One of them walked over to me.

"Hey baby, wanna come home with me?" He said. Opening his arms to welcome me.

"Not in less your sister's hot." I replied.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment. I laughed and walked off. I realized I was beginning to walk away from the party, but I wanted to explore over here. I wanted to be in the darkness. I felt it complimented my mood.

"I don't need Jay or Paige." I said to myself, "Paige" I said again. My voice went tender. I was starting to feel sick now. I tried to take a moment to breath hoping the feeling would pass. It didn't. I couldn't see were I was going. I was walking fast now. _I feel sick._ I finally stopped at a tree, leaned over and lost my stomach. After I threw up my body felt better, my mind however, felt like is was going to explode. I looked behind me. I could still see the fire burning and hear the music. I didn't want to go back to that. I closed my eyes for a moment to take everything in and collect my thoughts. My head was hurting bad now and everything seemed to blend together. _I wanted to go back to the place that had ever really felt like a home to me._ I was ready to go back.

I didn't have time figure out what was going on. All I heard was yelling and flashing sirens.

"Run!" I heard someone yell. I could see people running in every direction as the Cop cars pulled into the area. I decided to do the same.

I started to run further into the woods trying to get away from the sirens. They were flashing search lights now. It made me dizzy. My vision was still blurred and I couldn't see where I was going. I felt like I was going to be sick again. The further I ran the darker it got. I started to feel like I was running downhill now. I hoped I would come across a road and I could follow that, but the further I ran I steeper the hill became. I could still hear yelling in the distance. I just needed to get away. _I need to get home._ Suddenly, I felt something hit my face. Then again and again. It took a moment to realized I had stumbled and was falling down the hill now. I was clashing with everything that was in my way: dirt, branches, rocks. I finally hit a flat surface and stopped. Despite the fact I could still here yelling and cars, I couldn't see any search lights. The only light was from the moon now. I thought it looked so beautiful. I started thinking of Paige again. I felt so content that I didn't noticed the little landslide I had created as I fell down. All the dirt, pebbles, and rocks crashed down onto me. I didn't care. I started to laugh at myself for being so stupid. _How could I have screwed things up? How could I have fallen down this stupid hill? _ I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even feel the rock collide with my head and send me again into darkness.

---------

**Since the next chapter is an extension of chapter 8, I will leave my notes until the end of chapter 9. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, this chapter might be revised later if I think of anything I want to add, but I really don't want to spend too much time on any given chapter right now because I'm trying to keep the story moving while I have the ideas in my head. So, I hope you like this chapter! **

----------

Chapter 9

I awoke to the sound of running water. My head was pounding so hard and every part of my body ached. I was still in the woods. I felt my head. There was a little bump and some dry blood where the rock had hit me. I didn't immediately remember how I got here or what had happened last night. But it slowly started to come back. _Great going._ By the crisp smell of the air I figured it was still early morning. The cold only intensified my pain. I started to get up. I was so stiff. I stretched out a little trying to loosen up but it only hurt more. I winced in pain. I didn't even have to look to know my face was bruised and cut up from the fall. I looked up the hill I had tumbled down. The events of last night still weren't clear. I remembered Jay and I remembered drinking. I also remembered something about Paige. My mind went back to our phone conversation. It seemed like such a long time ago now. I decided I didn't want to be here anymore so I started the five mile walk home.

----

I had tried not to think of anything during my walk, which wasn't hard. The only thing my mind was on was the pain in every inch of my limb. Everything inside of me either stung or ached. _This is the last time I do that._ Honestly, I felt it wasn't even worth it. Why had I been so stupid? I finally reached the Michalchuk's. Luckily I hadn't lost my key in the mess of all this. I wouldn't have to ring the doorbell. I didn't even know what to expect. I slowly opened the door and closed it behind me. I hadn't even reached the first step of the stair when I heard Mrs. Michalchuk's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Where have you been?" She said as she emerged into view. She sounded angry.

I closed my eyes for a second before turning to face her. Apparently I must have looked like I had collided with a truck. She let out a gasp.

"My dear God." Her voiced was full of concern and anger. She came toward me. I could feel her hand as she touched the top of my forehead where the rock had hit me. I winced back in pain. Mr. Michalchuk was now standing by the stairs too. I felt so ashamed.

"I just needed to get away." I began. I don't know why I was feeling so honest.

"Get away?" She repeated.

"I don't know." I began, "From everything."

I could feel Mrs. Michalchuk's eyes burning into me. I felt like I needed to explain.

"It was just a party...I shouldn't have..." I was interrupted.

"A party? The one by the Ravine?"

I nodded.

"Oh god." She said again. She was sounded more worried and angry. It scared me. "It was in the newspaper. They had a huge drug bust there last night." She looked away from me shaking her head. It took me a moment before I realized what she was thinking.

"No, Mrs. Michalchuk. I didn't...I wasn't...I was just..." I began.

"I told you no more! When I took you in!" I could see she was livid. She wasn't even forming complete sentences. I tried again to explain

"I didn't! I was drunk..." I was starting to cry now, I regretted what I had done. "I'm sorry, I just needed..."

"What? To get wasted? To have fun? Get arrested?" Mrs. Michalchuk was going off now.

"No." I said back. "I dunno."

"Alex, you could have thrown your whole future away!" She yelled. I had never seen her like this before. There were tears forming in her eyes.

"What future?" I said back. Mostly to myself than to her I knew she had heard it.

Mrs. Michalchuk threw her arms up in the air. I didn't know what to do. I was practically sobbing now. _Did I just throw everything away?_ I could see Mrs. Michalchuk was just as upset as I was. _How could I hurt her like that? _After everything she had done for me? I betrayed her. I disappointed her. I didn't know what she was going to do. _Had she had enough of me?_ _Was she going to kick me out? Would I be back at the woman's shelter tonight? Maybe I would be at my mom's. _ I didn't want that. I waited for her to speak. She said nothing. The silence between us was deafening.

"Common." I finally heard. It's wasn't Mrs. Michalchuk. It was Mr. Michalchuk who spoke. "Let's get you cleaned up. Then we will discuss this." He held out his hand.

When Mrs. Michalchuk didn't object to his idea, I took his hand and let him lead me into the bathroom. Mrs. Michalchuk didn't follow.

-----

'Well, you beat yourself up there real good." He smiled. I could tell things were tense. I had stopped crying now, but I felt I could start again at any moment.

"I fell." I said as he finished cleaning one of my scratches.

He looked at me and laughed. "You took a pretty hard fall." He placed band aids on a few open wounds. When he had finished he said, "There. All fixed."

My eyes teared up again. This time not out of angry, but..._I wasn't sure_. He just made me feel so good and I messed things up so bad.

"You're probably going to want to shower and change your clothes. Maybe take a nap. We can talk about things when you wake up."

I just looked up at him. _How could he be so calm?_ I had never seen anything like that before. I nodded and got up. I didn't see Mrs. Michalchuk as I made my way upstairs. I was a little relieved. I wasn't ready to face her again. I took a quick shower and got into some clean cloths. I went into Dylan's room and crashed on the bed. I was out in less than five minutes.

-----

I could hear voices as I edged my way downstairs. I didn't know if they were talking about me or not. It was early evening and I could smell dinner. _It smelt good._ I wasn't hungry though. I made my way to the bottom of the stairs and slowly crept toward the kitchen. I felt like I did when I had first arrived here. Shy and timid. Like a child. I hated feeling this way, but I knew I had done this to myself. I finally edged into the kitchen far enough for them to notice me without me having to say anything. Both their expressions where stern. Though Mrs. Michalchuk no longer looked like she was about to blow her top, she was obviously still upset.

"Have a seat." She said pointing to the chair at the end of the table. I quickly obeyed. There was silence. I decided that before they kicked me out, I should at least apologize.

"I'm..." I hadn't even finished the word before I was cut off by Mrs. Michalchuk.

"What you did was unacceptable. I told you before behavior like that would not be tolerated in this house. I have no choice."

My heart sank as she continued speaking.

"Alex, you are a like a daughter to me and I will treat you no differently. From now on, you are not allowed to stay out past 8:00 o'clock. No exceptions but on the account of work."

At that sentence I looked up at her. She wasn't finished.

"You are from now on also to let either me or Bill know where you are going a head of time. At least on us should know where you are at all times."

I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say.

"Have I made myself clear?" She finished.

I nodded.

"Good." She said. "Now I'm going to get you some dinner. Then you are to go straight to bed. I want you all better because you will be spending the weekend cleaning out the garage." She got up and got a plate of roast beef and some vegetables. The rest of dinner went without a word. When I finished I stood up to take my plate over to the sink. I saw that Mrs. Michalchuk was finished with hers too. I started to reach for hers.

"No dear. Leave yours here. I'll get it." Her voice was soft again. I obeyed.

"Come here." She opened up her arms and hugged me. I still felt ashamed of myself and what I had done. Her arms squeezed around my body. She must of pushed on every bruise I had. I didn't mind the pain though. It felt good to be in her arms again. She let go of me. "Goodnight dear."

"Night." I said. The first thing I had actually said since I had woken up from my nap. I looked over to Mr. Michalchuk who also had his arms reached out. I went over and gave him a hug. My eyes were watering again.

Mr. Michalchuk was a bit more sensitive to the fact I was in a lot of pain. His embrace wasn't so tight. He pulled away a little and kissed my forehead. "Night, sweetpee. Sweet dreams." He said.

"Night." I replied trying not cry.

That night I went to bed in disbelief that I wasn't at the woman's shelter. How could the Michalchuk's put up with me? Even when I was causing problems. _Could they really care about me like a daughter?_ I had known they hadn't minding me living with them, but I had never actually expected them to become a real family to me. I had never really known what it was like to have parents who truly cared about me. Tonight I did.

---------

**Okay, so I told you Alex has to go through some growing. There are still few more things I have planned for Alex that are going to be explained in the next few chapters. So stay tuned! **


	10. Chapter 10

**First off I would just like to take the time and thank everyone who had reviewed the story. It's real been helpful. **

**I wrote this chapter quicker than I had expected. Anyway, I'm going to start leading into another big event now for Alex. **

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Chapter 10

I could remember the events of the party clearly now. I felt foolish with the way I had acted. I still didn't know who the girl who reminded me of Paige was, but I prayed she didn't know me. Hopefully no one would know what I had said to her. I figured I didn't need anymore trauma in my life. The week that followed the party was very tense. Mostly because I wasn't sure how to act around the Michalchuk's anymore. I still felt guilty and ashamed even though they were treating me like normal. Mr. Michalchuk would smile and joke and Mrs. Michalchuk would still ask me how my day was and seemed concerned for my wellbeing. Cleaning out the garage was one of the most laboring tasks I have ever had to do. There was so much dust and junk. The job alone took me all weekend. I believed cleaning the garaged was reserved for punishment purposes only and since her children had been gone for almost a year, it had been awhile since it had been cleaned. Even if I hadn't suffered embarrassment and injury, this job alone made me never want to do anything to deserve this punishment again.

I had confronted Mr. Michalchuk once about the party and my feelings. I just needed someone to talk to who would understand and I figured he would be the one to give the best advice without risk of overreacting. He had been out on the porch one evening reading a book when I slowly opened the screen door.

He looked up from the book, "Well hello there little lady." He said. Folding the page he was on to make sure to keep his place.

I smiled at him. "Hi."

The sun was setting and I pretended to watch it. Mr. Michalchuk obviously knew. He had a gift of knowing things like that.

"So what's on your mind, pumpkin?" He smiled.

He had never called me pumpkin before. I knew he did it to make me laugh and it worked.

"Come sit." He patted the empty spot next to him. I walked over the bench he was sitting on and sat down.

He waited quietly while I gathered my thoughts.

"Do you ever feel lost?" I finally asked

"Lost?" He repeated trying to understand.

"You know, confused about life." I was trying to explain, but I couldn't get out how I felt.

"Well sure. I think everyone gets lost from time to time." He replied.

"But, it's like I made a wrong turn somewhere and now I can't find my way back."

"Well, life doesn't actually come with a road map. We can't always re-trace our steps sometimes we just cross a point of no return. No going back." He said. His voice was soft and understanding.

"I wish I could sometimes. I've made so many mistakes."

"Live and learn." He said. Mr. Michalchuk was always so willing to listen to me. No matter how complex or how simple my problem was. He never made me feel stupid. He was becoming like a real father to me. The thought of it always made me chuckle. I could never see myself telling Chad how I felt. Even my mom would never understand. Should just say "Life's a bitch and it just keeps kicking you when you're down; so have a drink and forget about it." _A lot of good that advice did me._

I smiled at him. He was now glancing out toward the sunset.

"I had just been doing so good." I said. I was talking more to myself than to Mr. Michalchuk.

"You still are." He turned to look at me, "Just because you made one mistake and did something you shouldn't have doesn't mean you're a bad person. You should never think that about yourself."

"I just feel like I'm going nowhere." I almost couldn't believe how open I was with him.

"Damn right you're going nowhere. You'll be lucky if Maggie ever lets you leave." Mr. Michalchuk chuckled.

I too gave off a laugh as I rolled my eyes.

"You know what I mean." I said.

"I sure do. And don't worry. Things take time. Life takes time. It's you who decides your future, not your mistakes." He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a half hug.

"Thanks." I said. I gave him a quick kiss on the check.

"Oh, no bother." He said returning to his book, "Always glad to help. Hey, you know, the sun is setting nicely tonight behind that tree. I would highly recommend getting a few shots of that before it disappears."

"You know what, I think you're right." I replied. I went inside to get my camera.

I took a few shots of the sunset as Mr. Michalchuk continued to read his book. It had been oddly warm today. A little breeze gave a good effect for the shot. I probably took about ten shots total before sitting back down on the bench. Together Mr. Michalchuk and I watched as the sun sunk below the housetops and out of view.

-----

"You know. One of these nights we are going to have to find something better to do than look at the wall."

"Hey, your turn to think of ideas. I'm fresh out." I said.

Ellie just looked me, "Well, there is this party on..."

"No parties." I said fatly.

"Okay, but I wish you would tell me why."

I gave her a don't go there look.

"Sorry, it's just you look like you got into a fight with a grizzle bear."

"I fell."

"Into jagged rocks?"

"As a matter of fact."

Ellie gave me a stern look.

"Alex...sometimes...I wonder about you."

I sighed. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." She replied.

Ellie and I had been spending a lot more time together, like we said we should. I was glad; I needed a friend. My mood had generally gone up since the incident. I was a little better. I had even managed to get my mind of Paige. Despite the fact I wasn't ready to let her go yet, I knew it was still good for me to focus on other things. The was early December now and the first snow was starting to fall. I took the opportunity to take as many pictures as I could. It didn't take me long to realize anything could be pretty with a little snow on it.

------

The Christmas season had arrived and the mall was jam packed full of shoppers trying to get their Christmas shopping out of the way. I had been working eight hour shifts and even overtime. I was so exhausted. Sometimes I would get home from work and be falling asleep at the dinner table. Mr. Michalchuk would have to nudge me to wake up. Mrs. Michalchuk would complain,

"They shouldn't over work you like that." She would go on. I had taken Mr. Michalchuk's advice to live and learn and things between Mrs. Michalchuk and me had pretty much returned to normal.

"Yea, but I need the money. So I'm not complaining."

"Still..." She would say. The rest of the dinner would usually be eaten in silence.

One night dinner had been especially quiet. I had finished telling the story of how I had to chase a three year old around the store because he had run off with some old lady's credit card. Mr. Michalchuk had been practically falling to the floor with laughter. Mrs. Michalchuk had been asking where his mother had been. After I had finished the story Mrs. Michalchuk gave a look to Mr. Michalchuk to stop laughing. I was getting pretty good at reading her facial expressions. They were amazingly similar to Paige's.

"So, Alex." She finally began. "You've been living with us for awhile now."

"Oh, yea. I've been looking. I haven't had a lot of time lately because..."

"No..no..no...dear. No need to worry about that. It really has been a pleasure having you here. You are like a second daughter to Bill and I and you will always be welcomed here."

These words made me smile.

"Now, it's just. Bill and I were thinking. While you're living here, since you're not in such dire need to support yourself, you could cut back your work hours a little." Mr. Michalchuk looked concerned.

"Look Maggie. I know they have been overworking me, but just as soon as the Christmas season is over it won't be as bad."

"Oh, I know that dear. But I wasn't just referring to the Christmas season. Bill and I were thinking that maybe you could use this opportunity to maybe look into the community college."

I just looked at Mrs. Michalchuk.

"We just figured it would be a good time to get it out of the way before you really do have some responsibilities to deal with." Mr. Michalchuk butted in.

"And of course, you can stay here while you're in school. Really there's no rush on you moving out." Mrs. Michalchuk smiled. She was really leaving this decision for me to make.

"Umm..." I started. I really had to think about it. I wasn't even ready to answer the question.

"Think about it dear." Mrs. Michalchuk finished. "But let me know if you want to enroll for spring classes because we'll have to get you signed up soon."

"Okay." I replied.

That night I laid in bed pondering whether I should go to college or not. Last time Paige had wanted me to go to college it didn't seem like possibility. Back then, I had felt like I wasn't going to amount to anything better than my mother. I didn't feel like that anymore. I had felt no matter how hard I tried my past would just pull me back down again. I replayed the conversation with Mr. Michalchuk over again in my mind. Things were different now. Was there a real reason why I shouldn't go? _It's you who decides your future, not your mistakes. _I slowly started to drift off, those words echoing in my mind.

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**I've already started working chapter 11 so hopefully I'll have that finished and up by tonight. I'm still planning and getting some more characters besides Elli and Jay into the story, but don't worry we haven't seen the last of them. I tend to update my progress with the chapters in my profile, so if your interested in knowing where I currently am with a story check there. **


	11. Chapter 11

**I had the biggest writers block for this chapter. It almost took me two days to write. I knew I wasn't ready to lead into Christmas and there were things I wanted to also get out of the way. It just kind of gives the story some space in between major events. **

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Chapter 11

It was first thing over breakfast that I decided to break the news.

"So," I said, getting their attention. "I've been thinking about what you said last night."

"Yes, dear." Mrs. Michalchuk said willing me to continue.

"I was thinking it would be good for me to go to school."

"Oh that's wonderful dear!" Her face lit up.

I smiled back.

"We will have to get you registered then. We will go this Saturday. You don't have work do you?" She asked.

"Yea, but not till the afternoon." I replied back

"Alright, we will go in the morning. I'm so excited. This is good news. Don't you think Bill?"

"Yes it is." Mr. Michalchuk replied, "I'm glad to hear it!"

He seemed very enthusiastic.

---------

The mall was so jammed packed full of customers; I couldn't believe I was able to get through the crowed to get to work. The pushing and shoving, and yelling. People were crazy during Christmas time. I myself never really saw the big deal in it. It seemed so shallow to me. _Buy something special for the one you love._ It made me feel like love should be materialized. Love should be more pure than that. Growing up my mother had done the best she could. She had never really had money for presents. One year though, I did awake on Christmas morning to find a present laying in my bed. It was small box. I carefully unwrapped it. I didn't want to ruin the wrapping paper. I slowly opened the lid to the box. Inside was a small locket. My mother had been standing in my doorway waiting for me to open it. I looked up at her and smiled.

"You like it?" She asked.

"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed.

"You can put a picture of anyone you want in there. That way, when you wear it, that person will always be close to your heart." She had said. She had tried to sound caring and sincere. It was one of the few good memories I actually had of my mother. I never actually wore the necklace. I had kept it in the box by my nightstand. Overtime it had been moved and tossed around that I eventually lost it. I had never worn it because I had never felt there was anyone in my life who I felt was truly special to me.

All day I had been on my feet constantly. The jeans were too small, the jacket was too big, and sweater was too tight. Selling this and grabbing that. By the end of work I felt like my legs were going to fall off. Mr. Michalchuk had said he could pick me up on his way home from work, but I still had forty-five minutes to kill. All I wanted to do was lay over and die. Though I noticed that mall wasn't as jam packed as it usually was now. Perhaps because it was a week night. I decided however to do a little Christmas shopping of myself. This year more than ever did I feel like I needed to. I wanted to buy something special for the Michalchuks. I thought they deserved it. They had been so kind and caring to me. I tried to think of what they would like. While shopping I came across a nice burgundy sweater that I thought Mr. Michalchuk would like. I also found a nice table piece for Mrs. Michalchuk. I didn't feel extremely content with my gifts for them, but I figured I could buy them something else to go along with them . I also found myself a coat which I had needed. I had thought about getting something for Paige, but then I wasn't sure if I should. I decided to hold off and think about it a little more. I still had a few weeks. I left the mall and waited outside for Mr. Michalchuk who showed up about fifteen minutes later.

"Hey, sweetpee. What do you have in the bag?" Mr. Michalchuk said as I got in.

"Oh, just a coat; my other one doesn't work well." I replied.

"Oh, alright. How was work?"

"Busy." I replied.

"Aww… you poor thing. Well, Maggie will have a nice dinner ready for us when we get home."

"That sounds good." I replied.

Dinner was extremely pleasant. Mrs. Michalchuk had created her famous pot roast. She also seemed very upbeat.

"Now don't forget." She started, "This Saturday we are going down to get you enrolled at the community college."

"I know." I replied taking a bite of a steamed carrot. "You know, I'm kind of looking forward to going back to school."

"Well that's just wonderful to hear dear." Mrs. Michalchuk exclaimed. "And I was thinking. I know the owner of _Friends With Food _he said he would give you a job if you wanted. They have more flexible hours. It would be easier to work around your schedule. Plus they are not as busy as the mall."

I nodded at the thought, "That might be good."

------

"So, you're actually going to college?" Ellie asked.

"Yep." I replied. We were eating lunch at the Dot. Ellie and I had been spending a lot more time together lately. It was nice to have a good friend again.

"Alex, that's really great. I'm glad you're going to college."

"Yea." I replied. No sure what else to say.

"Do you know what you wanna do yet?" Ellie continued on with the subject.

"I dunno yet. Probably something with photography." I replied.

"Yea, I forgot you're into that."

"Yep." I didn't feel like discussing it. There was a moment of silence again but we held eye contact.

"I wish I knew what I wanted to do." Ellie replied breaking her gaze.

"Hey, no worries. You'll figure it out." I replied. Finally my turn to give advice.

"Yea, but it seems every time I get if figured out, something gets in the way again."

"Tell me about it." I replied, I knew all too well what she was talking about.

"I just feel like I'm going to keep working at this dead end job at the record store forever." Ellie was obviously spilling feelings now.

I started thinking for a moment how to reply when an Idea hit me.

"Well, why don't you just come to college with me?" I replied.

"I dunno." She said sounding a little unsure.

"What the hell are you gonna lose? Just try it, we can take some classes together. That way we won't have to do it alone. And if it doesn't work out, then whatever." I replied.

"Well..." She started.

"Common Ellie." I said back, "Enough with this dead end job stuff. Let's make something of ourselves."

Ellie rolled her eyes and gave a small smile, "Alright." She finally said.

"See, it wasn't that bad." I replied.

"We haven't even done anything yet."

"Saturday. I'm going with Mrs. Michalchuk to register. I'm sure she won't mind if you come with." I replied.

Ellie gave off a small sigh and I chuckled. I shook my head at her.

--------

Saturday morning was freezing. It had snowed the night before and the fresh layer covered everything. Mr. Michalchuk and I had to shovel at least 3 inches of snow to get the garage door to open. I then helped him clear the driveway. Afterwards Mrs. Michalchuk and I started our way to our first stop at Ellie's.

"I'm really glad you have a friend to go school with. That should make it a little funner." Mrs. Michalchuk said in the Van.

"Yea, I'm glad too. Hopefully she won't flake on me." I replied.

"Does she usually?" Mrs. Michalchuk sounded a little concerned.

"No, but sometimes she changes her mind." I replied.

"Oh." She replied back.

"But she's a really cool person. I really like her." I replied trying not give a bad impression of Ellie to Mrs. Michalchuk who obviously didn't know her very well.

Ellie must have been waiting by the door because when our van pulled up her front door immediately opened. She was bundled up in heavy coat and her hood was pulled up over her head squishing her face. I thought she looked kind of like a teddy bear. Kind of cute actually. She slid open the side door and climbed into the van.

"Hey, Lexi. Hi, Mrs. Michalchuk." She said as she buckled her seat belt and took off her hood.

"Hi." I replied.

"Hello, dear." Mrs. Michalchuk replied. The van set into motion again and we set off for Toronto Community College.

"So, Ellie. I'm glad you chose to go to college also. It will be good for the both of you." Mrs. Michalchuk said

Ellie looked as if she weren't sure what to say. She nodded, "Yea."

"So, you went to Degrassi with Alex too?" Mrs. Michalchuk went on.

"Yea." Ellie replied again.

"Were you also one of Paige's friends?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked.

"Um, yea. I guess Paige and I were kind of friends. I mean we knew each other." Ellie nodded as she spoke. It was now Ellie's turn to endure the harsh instigation of Mrs. Michalchuk. I had to admit, she handled it nicely. I impressed with her. I turned to look in the back seat and gave her a quick smirk. She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Oh, that's good dear." Mrs. Michalchuk smiled.

Registration went pretty smooth. Ellie and I both enrolled in English 1A and Math 25. She also decided to take an art class and I managed to get into a photography class. By the time we were done we were pretty pleased with our schedules. Ellie had suggested we see a movie or something, but I had to work. I suggested another time. Mrs. Michalchuk dropped Ellie of at her house.

"Alright, thank you so much for taking me to registration Mrs. Michalchuk. Bye Alex. See you later." She said as she unbuckled her seat belt and slid the door open.

"Oh it was a pleasure." Mrs. Michalchuk said smiling.

"Bye El." I said. "I'll call you." I suddenly blurted out. She had been sliding the door shut. She stopped to answer.

"Okay." She said laughing at the randomness of my comment.

I watched her walk up all the way to door. It took her a moment as she fidgeted with the lock. I didn't take my eyes off her until the door had closed and she was inside. I turned to looked at Mrs. Michalchuk. I was going to say something about my classes when I noticed her staring at me. She was obviously trying to hide a grin.

"What?" I said. I myself was beginning to crack a smile at the sudden tenseness of the mood. Mrs. Michalchuk broke eye contact as she put the van into the drive.

"Nothing." She said. Without taking her eyes off the road she leaned in and nudged me a little. "_She's cute_."

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**I know what I'm going to write about next, I just haven't decided how I'm going to break it up. I'm pretty sure it's going to take at least 2 chapters to get through. Maybe 3. I'm not sure how long I'm going to have the holiday's go on. Also, I will be brining in a few other characters into the story sometime in the next few chapters. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I really hadn't expected to turn this into a chapter but I thought I should. **

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Chapter 12

For some reason I had been very obsessed with my schedule for college. I would go up to my room and glance at it from time to time. Almost like I didn't believed I was actually enrolled. _I was going to college._ Maybe my life wasn't a total waste after all. Though, the thought brightened my mood, I was still scared out of my mind. I didn't even know why. College had just always seemed like something in the distance; always in front of me, but just out of reach. I definitely wasn't looking forward to having to study again though. I knew that would suck, but maybe this time I would try. Who knows, maybe I'll even learn something.

There was now only two weeks left until Christmas. Mrs. Michalchuk had sent Mr. Michalchuk and me on a mission to find the perfect Christmas tree. We excepted without hesitation.

"Don't worry Maggie, Alex and I will get the prettiest tree in all Canada." He reassured her.

"Whoa, hold on there." I said, "There are a lot of trees in Canada and I'm not prepared to inspect every single one."

"Well Maggie, when we come home with a short ugly tree...we will know who to thank." Mr. Michalchuk said giving me a stern look. I knew he was only joking.

Mrs. Michalchuk rolled her eyes at our playfulness. "Well hurry up you too before all the good trees are taken." She said as she shooed us out the door.

"So, what kind of Christmas tree did you have as a kid?" Mr. Michalchuk asked when we were in the van driving to the lot.

"Oh, the kind that was small enough fit in a plant pot." I said

"What? You mean to say you've never had a Christmas tree?" He replied looking a little amazed.

"No, never had the room for one or the money."

"Well then, we are just going to have to make sure this one is really special then." He glanced at me.

I smiled.

---------

The Christmas Tree Lot was packed full of trees. It was like a tree farm. They were all lightly covered in snow and most of them were taller than me. I almost couldn't believe that for the first time in my life I was actually going to have a Christmas tree.

"Well, which one pumpkin?" I heard Mr. Michalchuk say from behind me.

"What?" I turned around. I wasn't sure what he meant.

"Which tree do you want?" He said again taking a step beside me and putting his arm around my shoulder brining me closer to his warmth. I had never noticed before, but he must have been a good foot taller than me. He kissed the top of my head. "Pick one." He said. I looked up to see him smiling at me. I returned it. I then looked out at the Lot.

"Hmm...well..." I said scanning the area. There were so many trees and all of them were so beautiful. Mr. Michalchuk kept me under his arm as we strolled the lot looking at all the trees.

"How about this one?" He said.

"Uhh..It's a little bent over." I replied tilting my head.

"You're right." He smiled and we both laughed.

Finally a sales person noticed us and came over to help.

"Can I help you?" He asked. He looked very cold. I was still under Mr. Michalchuk's arm I couldn't help but be thankful he was sharing his warmth with me.

"Well," Mr. Michalchuk began, "Actually I am looking for the perfect tree for this nice young lady right here." He looked down at me and I smiled.

"Ahh." The sales man continued, "All right, well, let's look here." He guided us over to the end of the patch. "We just cut these down today. Some of our best finds." He said rubbing his shoulders for warmth. He was shivering. I put my arm around Mr. Michaluck's waist and he tightened his grip on me. I had never felt so warm.

"You guys should be able to find a nice one here." The sales man said.

"Thank you very much." Mr. Michalchuk replied.

"Alright, when you find one, I'll be right over there." He said and walked off.

"Alright then." Mr. Michalchuk said scanning the trees.

"They are all so beautiful." I said. "I don't know which one to pick."

"Well, if we had the room I'd let you take them all."

I laughed looking around again. Scanning each tree individually. I finally came across a tree that caught my attention. It didn't stand out from any of the other trees but I was drawn to it. It was a little fatter than the rest and its branches stretched out like it was trying to touch something that was just out of reach. I grabbed on to the hand Mr. Michalchuk had around my shoulder and lead him over to it.

"How about this one?" I said.

He scanned the tree up and down, "You know what. I like it. It's perfect." He said nodding his head. "You definitely picked the best tree in Canada." He kissed my forehead and I smiled. I looked at the tree again. _It was perfect_.

Mr. Michalchuk waved the sales man back over and he came running.

"Did you find what you want?" He asked.

"Yes we did." Mr. Michalchuk replied, "This one right here."

"Awesome." He said. The sales man helped strap the tree to the top of our van. As I was getting into the car I over head Mr. Michalchuk and the sales man talking.

"Well, Alex picked it." I heard Mr. Michalchuk say.

"Well, your daughter has good taste in trees." I head the salesman reply.

"Yes she does."

-------

When Mr. Michalchuk and I returned home with the tree Mrs. Michalchuk had a whole batch of Christmas cookies waiting for us. The tree itself was so beautiful. I almost didn't want to decorate it, but Mrs. Michalchuk had insisted. The three of use spent the evening putting on the lights and ornaments for the tree. Mr. Michalchuk even helped me up on a chair so I could put the star on top. I finally had my first Christmas tree. It was the most amazing thing. I even made sure to take pictures of the whole event. Afterwards we all spent the evening listening to Christmas jingles and drinking hot cocoa. We sat by the fire Mr. Michalchuk had built for us, admiring the tree and watching the snow outside the window fall.

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**I hope you liked this chapter. I'm still working out how I'm going to write the next few chapters but I know where I'm going with it. They should be up soon. And I wanted to say another thank you to all those who reviewed my story. It really helps inspire me. Thanks again everyone! **


	13. Chapter 13

**I spent a great deal of time thinking about how I wanted this chapter to turn out. Anyway, I decided to go with this. It might not be what you're hoping for but don't worry. I know where I'm going. **

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Chapter 13

The following morning I was awoken by Mrs. Michalchuk.

"Come on, dear. It's almost 10:30." She said as she shook me.

"Uhhh..." I said as I rolled over. I was only half awake.

"I have breakfast ready for you and if you don't hurry up it will be lunch." She said. She was laying a stack of clean laundry on my chair.

I stretched out a little before pulling the covers off me and getting up. Downstairs on the countertop was a plate of waffles. Mr. Michalchuk was sitting in the living room doing the cross word in the Sunday paper.

Mrs. Michalchuk was cleaning the counter top.

"Ahh, there you are Alex. Have a good sleep?" She said.

"Yea." I replied. I still wasn't entirely awake.

"Well that's good dear." She smiled, "Now hurry and eat your breakfast or you won't be hungry for lunch."

I ate the waffles. Mrs. Michalchuk always made the best waffles.

"So, Bill." She began.

"Hmm..." Mr. Michalchuk said not looking up from the paper.

"I spoke to Paige early this morning." She said.

I hadn't been listening to their conversation until I heard Paige's name. I was wide awake and paying full attention now. Though, I looked at my waffles trying to pretend I wasn't listening.

"Ah, you two always converse so early in the morning." Mr. Michalchuk said.

"Yes, well. She had things to do. But anyways, Paige was telling me about this great trip that the School of Business does for its students every year. It's to help get them used to the business world. She didn't get into too much detail. Anyway, she said she wanted to go." Mrs. Michalchuk finished. Mr. Michalchuk looked up from his paper removing is bifocals.

"Well, that sounds wonderful Maggie." There was a pause. "How much is this going to cost us?"

"She doesn't know yet. They are trying to do fundraising. Paige has assured me it will be no more than $1000. She said probably less."

"Doesn't Paige have some money saved up for special occasions such as this?" Mr. Michalchuk questioned.

"I asked her about that. She said she already spent it on something else that was very important." Mrs. Michalchuk replied.

"Our girl can burn through money like there is no tomorrow." Mr. Michalchuk said laughing and shaking his head at the thought.

I had hung on every word they were saying. _Paige was going on some trip with friends_. I tried not to let it bother me, but I couldn't suppress the butterflies fluttering in my stomach thinking about her again. I had been so busy with work and Christmas that some how I managed to remove Paige from my mind over the past month.

"When is it?" Mr. Michalchuk asked.

"Well, they are planning the trip during their holiday break. So Paige won't be coming home for Christmas."

At those words my heart sank. I hadn't even thought about Paige coming home at all. I had almost forgotten Paige was apart of their family too. Things here had been so constant. Paige never came home to visit, so I had never seen her. She had been busy at Banting. She didn't have time see her family or me. Though I'm sure she had wanted too.

"Oh, so we won't be seeing Paige for Christmas?" Mr. Michalchuk said, his voice was soft now.

"I guess not." Mrs. Michalchuk replied. At least both of them were just as upset as I was. "I guess it will just be me, you, Alex, and Dylan this year."

After breakfast I went back up to my room to think. I sat on my bed and looked at my camera. I had almost thought I had gotten over Paige, but maybe not. I wasn't sure now. Despite the fact I still cared about her deeply, she was becoming so distant to me that she was almost nothing more than a mere memory now. No more important than the lost necklace my mother had given me years ago. The butterflies in my stomach were still strong. I hadn't even thought about seeing her. Though, we may not share the same feelings anymore, we now shared the same family. At some point I am going to have to confront her. Though I wanted to see her, I was almost glad she wasn't going to be home. I would even know what to say to her. _What would she want to say to me?_ Would we talk and be friends again or would we just avoid each other for a month. I was suddenly hit with a thought. _What if she's not coming home just to avoid seeing me?_ Would she do that? Would her not wanting to see me be so strong that she would give up precious time with her family? _She wouldn't do that._ I was quickly beginning to fell bad, but despite the feeling I decided that I'm not going to let Paige influence me. If she isn't coming home because I'm here that's her problem: not mine.

------

"So Dylan will be here on Friday." Mrs. Michalchuk said during lunch.

"Oh good." Mr. Michalchuk said gleefully as he ate his roast beef sandwich.

"Now, we are going to have to work out the living arrangements. I was thinking he could stay in Paige's room." Mrs. Michalchuk stated.

"I'm sure he'll be fine with that." Mr. Michalchuk said, "It's not like he really has a choice."

Mrs. Michalchuk nodded at his remark then left the room. Mr. Michalchuk was finishing up his sandwich. He seemed to have noticed I had stopped eating.

"How's the sandwich?" He asked grabbing my attention.

"Oh, it's good." I said.

"Something bugging you?" He asked.

"No, I'm just tired." I lied. "Stress is just getting the best of me. It's a busy time of year. " _Why do I babble when I lie?_

"Tell me about it." Mr. Michalchuk said, finishing the last bite of his sandwich. He got up and cleaned his plate.

"Well, if you ever need to talk about anything. You know I'm here." He said

I looked at him, "I know."

"You really are a great kid, Alex. Don't let those pesky fears of yours hold you back from greatness." He didn't give me time to reply before he left the room.

I spent the rest of the day pondering what Mr. Michalchuk had said to me. _Why did I always let my fears get the best of me?_ If it hadn't been for fear I probably would be with Paige right now. Maybe even going on that trip with her. Or maybe she wouldn't have gone. We would have just came back home for the holidays. I remembered what it had been like to hold her. To kiss her. Some of the best experiences in my life were with Paige. She really had been someone special too me. _How special had I been to her?_ I pondered these questions and thoughts well into the night. I sat by the window watching the snow fall, just thinking about Paige. She was fresh in my mind now and I found it difficult to remove her. I even thought back to our phone conversation we had about a month ago. I was feeling lonely. I just wanted to hear her voice. I loved her voice. The way she would say things. I could fall asleep listening to her talk. She was really something. I don't know what compelled me. I wasn't even thinking. I just _found myself_ in the kitchen and then in my room. I had the phone in my hand and I was dialing a number that was all to familiar on my fingertips. There was silence and then...

_Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring..._

"Hello?" I heard on the other end. The voice sounded very grogy. I quickly glanced at the clock: 1:32 a.m.

"Hello?" Said the voice again. I heard her inhale. She then let out a sigh.

"H-e-l-l-o?" I heard again. I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I just kept the phone up to my ear and said nothing. She had stopped talking. I could just hear her breathing. It was soothing. I wasn't sure if she could hear me. After awhile I couldn't hear anything. I wasn't sure if she had hung up. I didn't care though. I closed my eyes and kept the phone up to my ear..._just in case._

-------

**I don't have much to comment on for this chapter. I know everyone is getting eager now for Paige to come into the story. Don't worry, I'm pretty clear on where I'm going with it. Anyway, I'm not going to give anything away. You are just going to have to wait for my next updates to see what happens. **


	14. Chapter 14

**For some reason I found this chapter hard to write. But here it is. I hope you enjoy it! **

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Chapter 14

Dylan was home by Friday afternoon. Mrs. Michalchuk was over ecstatic with glee. She ran out the front door and embraced Dylan in a hug. Then Mr. Michalchuk got his turn to give a warm welcome to his son. I was watching from my bedroom window the whole time. I had never really hung out with Dylan. We talked a little when Paige and I were dating and we had gotten along pretty well. Things were different now. I slowly crept my way down the stairs. They were inside and Dylan was taking off his coat while Mr. Michalchuk stacked his suitcases to the side. Mrs. Michalchuk still filled with glee. She hugged him again once he had closed the closet door. I was half way down the stairway now. I wasn't sure if I should say anything. Dylan glanced up at me.

"Alex." He said acknowledging my presence.

"Hi." I replied taking another step down the stairs.

"How are you?" He asked

"I'm good." I said, I was beginning to feel a little awkward. "You?"

"I'm good. So your living with us now?"

I didn't have time to answer before Mrs. Michalchuk interrupted the conversation.

"Alright now. We can finish this conversation during lunch." She started to walk into the kitchen and we all began to follow her, "Oh, and Dylan, we will be making some _adjustments_ to your normal sleeping arrangements." She finished as she went out of view. I could see Dylan's facial expression suddenly shift but he said nothing and walked into the kitchen.

-------

Lunch went smoothly. Mrs. Michalchuk made chicken soup, which I thought tasted excellent. I loved her cooking. We all endured a bit of awkward conversation but that was ended quickly by Mr. Michalchuk asking Dylan how his semester had gone. Dylan suddenly filled the room with his voice. _He was just as talkative as Paige._ He would glance over at me a few times during the conversation and I would awkwardly smile back. I wasn't sure if he was just being friendly or he was upset that I was here. During my time with the Michalchuk's I had almost forgotten they had children of their own. It wasn't something I was forced to confront everyday, but that was changing.

As I went back up to my room I could hear Mrs. Michalchuk talking.

"Oh, your just going to have to get over it. It's not _your_ room anymore."

----

I sat in my room for pretty much the rest of the day organizing my scrapbook of pictures. I hadn't realized how many I had actually taken. I felt so at peace looking at them. I had been so deep in thought that I jumped when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said.

The door knob turned and Dylan walked in.

"I see you're making yourself at home." He said.

"Yea, listen. If you want your room back while your here I can sleep in Paige's room. It's no problem." I said

"No. It's fine. Really." He didn't sound like he meant it. "Technically, I don't live here anymore anyways."

"You sure?" I asked

He nodded. "I like what you've done to the place." He said looking around.

"I haven't done anything." I corrected.

"Exactly."

-------

The following days went by smoothly. Dylan slept in Paige's room without problem. He seemed very welcoming of me and I was glad. Mrs. Michalchuk was cooking like crazy. There were so many Christmas cookies and dishes. I thought the smell of all the baked goods had permanently scented the house. I was still being over worked at the Mall and I was feeling a little fatigue. I had told my boss that I wouldn't be working here after the holidays. He seemed upset but he wasn't the one pulling all the shifts here. So I didn't care. It was only a week before Christmas and though the city was covered in snow it didn't look like we would be having an further snowfall. I had decided the presents I had gotten them would have to do. Everything now was either sold out or extremely overpriced. I had also decided to get Dylan a Mall gift card since I had no idea what he liked. Mrs. Michalchuk insisted we didn't put the presents under the tree until Christmas Eve. She mentions something about keeping people from peeking but she had shot a stern look at Mr. Michalchuk when she said it. I had finished wrapping all my present and had them safely at the back of my closet

I had been lounging around one day doing waiting until it was time for work when I heard the door bell ring.

"I'll get it." I yelled to Mrs. Michalchuk.

I unlocked the door and opened it and to my surprise I saw Marco standing there. He was looking out towards the street watching some kids snowball fight. He turned around at the sound of the door opening. He jumped back in amazement.

"Alex?" He asked.

"Hey Marco." I replied back.

He was laughing in disbelief, "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked back.

"I'm here to see Dylan...my boyfriend."

"I live here." I answered his question.

"Wait? What?...You live _here_?" He asked. He sounded completely confused.

"It's a long story. Come in." I invited.

"Is Dylan here?" Marco questioned stepping inside.

"No, he went out with Mr. Michalchuk a little while ago."

"Oh." Marco said. He looked like he was getting ready to speak again but he was suddenly interrupted.

"Marco! Come here!" Mrs. Michalchuk exclaimed holding out her arms

"Mrs. Michalchuk!" Marco returned her excitement. They embraced in a long hug.

"How are you?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked.

"I'm good. And you?" Macro returned the question.

"Oh, I am doing wonderful." She was smiling widely. She looked over at Alex, "And you know Alex right?"

"Yes." Marco said smiling. He still seemed a little taken aback by my presence.

"Well," Marco continued, "I just swung by to drop off this gift for Dylan he said pulling out his wrapped present. "Just tell him I stopped by and that I'll call him later."

"Alright Marco." Mrs. Michalchuk said, "Well, let's make sure we see you again before the holiday's are over."

"You will." Marco laughed. "Bye." Marco looked at me. "It was good seeing you Alex. We will _have_ to talk." He opened his arms and grabbed me in a hug.

"We will." I said.

It was good to see another friend again. Dylan seemed a little upset when he found out he missed Marco. He had ran immediately upstairs to call him. They must have been on the phone for the rest of the night. It was coming insanely close to Christmas and I had never found myself looking forward to it so much. I was almost counting down. Not because I thought I was going to get lots presents but because for once in my life I felt I was actually going to have a family to spend it with.

-----

Christmas Eve was spent with Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk, Dylan and me. We all sat around the table talking, playing cards and eating the wonderful cookies Mrs. Michalchuk continued to make. The Christmas tree looked as beautiful as ever. Even Dylan had complimented the tree I had picked out. Everything felt so normal. As if it had always been like this. I felt so safe and happy. Just one night with Paige's family had made up for the eighteen years of loneliness with mine.

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**Sorry for not having more of Dylan and Marco. I promise there will be more of them in the upcoming chapters and Ellie will also be making an appearance again soon. I shouldn't have as much writers block with the next chapter. So hopefully I will have that up late tonight or early tomorrow! **


	15. Chapter 15

**I know...I know...I know...I know you all want Piage to hurry up and be in the story. But like I said at the beginning, Alex has to go through some _growing_ first. But don't worry because she is almost done. There are only a few more things Alex has to deal with..but don't worry...I'm going to start getting ready for Paige to enter the story. At the moment Paige really only has a minor role..but I will be building her character up for a more major role. **

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Chapter 15:

I actually found myself wide awake at 5:00 A.M. sharp Christmas morning. I didn't get up right away. I just lied in my bed savoring the moments. Everything was so quiet and peaceful. I knew that no one was up yet. Not this early, not even Mrs. Michalchuk. They wouldn't start to stir until about 6:00. The only thing I could honestly say that could make me feel bad today was thinking it was going to end. I had left my curtains open the night before so the sun would be sure to shine in. I didn't want to miss a moment. I put my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling for awhile. It didn't feel like Christmas, though I didn't exactly know what Christmas was suppose to feel like. It also didn't feel like any normal day. Something about it felt special. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Slowly the sun started to light up the room. I didn't mind. I could see the dust particles dancing in it's rays. I thought it was both disgusting and beautiful. I thought back to my old room where no sun light ever entered. It was always so dark. I was glad it wasn't ever like that here.

I laid still in bed for over an hour. I closed my eyes for a second thinking about my life before. How lonely and angry I had been. How I had never know how it felt to be truly loved. I found myself afraid to open my eyes again for fear I would find myself back in my old room. My mother in my doorway again, with a beer can in her hand. With my eyes closed, I slowly moved my hand across my night stand in search of my camera. When I felt it, I knew it was safe to open my eyes again. I knew I was still here and still happy.

Slowly energy started to take hold of my body. I felt restless like I need to move or stretch out. I no longer felt content lying in bed. I tried to fight it, but it over powered me. I finally gave up. I swung my sheets off me and got up. It was so cold. I quickly ran and grabbed one of Paige's old robs from my closet. I had stolen a lot of her cloths since I had moved in. I was still shivering but I didn't mind. I felt nothing could dampen my mood today. I also grabbed the presents I had gotten for the Michalchuks. I left my room and went into the bathroom. I decided today was special and I should at least comb my hair before going downstairs.

I took my time down the stair case. _No rush._ It was so quiet. I was careful not to disrupt the peace. Everyone was still sleeping. I finally reached the bottom. I decided to go take a look at the tree. I just wanted to admire it by myself a little before everyone else got up. I went to the corner to plug in the lights. It instantly light up. It was so beautiful. I placed my gifts with the rest of the presents Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk had placed under the tree the night before. As I leaned down to neatly add them to the pile I noticed a tag on one of the presents that had my name on it. I smiled. It felt so good to know that someone had been thinking about me. I took a few steps back to admire the tree in it's entirety. I was completely in aw. I had been so memorized by the sight of the tree that I hadn't noticed Mrs. Michalchuk coming down the stairs.

"Morning dear." She smiled, "And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." I said. I don't think anyone ever really says _Merry _Christmas and means it. I had.

"Hmm.." She said now gazing that the tree, "I love that tree. It really is one of the best ones we have ever had."

I smiled at her.

"Common, let's make breakfast. Then we can go wake up to boys."

"Sounds good." replied.

I helped Mrs. Michalchuk make a huge breakfast. We made everything: eggs, bacon, pancakes, waffles, sausages, ham, hash browns. Sometime during our cooking Mr. Michalchuk and Dylan had found their way to the kitchen.

"Is it time to open the presents?" Dylan asked finishing up his breakfast.

"Not yet." Mrs. Michalchuk must have had told him that for the umptheenth time.

"How are the waffles?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked me

"Wonderful, like always." I replied finishing them up. Dylan's constant persistence with opening the presents were making me excited.

I glanced at Mr. Michalchuk, who seemed to be enjoying his eggs. He looked over at me and smiled and I returned it with a goofy face that made him laugh. Dylan must have noticed my face because he too had started laughing.

"It's such a shame Paige couldn't be here." Mrs. Michalchuk said. Her face was sad. "Our first Christmas without her."

"Don't worry mom. Alex is here to replace her." Dylan joked

I didn't know how to react. Mrs. Michalchuk cast Dylan a stern look but said nothing.

"Well then. I guess it's time to open our presents." Mrs. Michalchuk finally said. She hadn't sounded all that enthused.

"About time Maggie." Mr. Michalchuk jested.

Dylan was to first to shoot out the door towards the tree and we all followed in his wake.

-------

"Alright now...let's see..." Mr. Michalchuk said as he was examining the presents. He grabbed one, "Alright Dylan, here is one for you." He said handing it to him. Dylan took it eagerly and began to unwrap it.

Mr. Michalchuk took another present from the tree, "Ah...Alex. Here you go." He said as he handed me the medium size box. I began to open it carefully. I don't know why, but I never liked to just _rip _something open. I would always take my time and try not to damage the paper. I finally got it all off. Underneath the wrapping paper was a brown box. I opened the box to find a green sweater.

"Do you like it?" I heard Mrs. Michalchuk say. "I picked it out myself."

"Yes, I love it." I replied. "It's great, thanks!" I said embracing her in a hug.

Mr. Michalchuk was still handing out presents to everyone. We spent a good half hour opening them. Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk really seemed to like their presents for me. They both gave me a big thanks. So did Dylan. He said something about needing something. I didn't quite understand him. In the end I had gotten from them more gifts than I had expected. I got a few more articles of clothing, some gift cards, new earrings, camera film, and some nice picture frames. I had in one day gotten more presents from the Michalchuks than I had in a lifetime from everyone in my life combined. It was truly an amazing feeling. Mr. Michalchuk was searching through all the wrapping making sure we weren't missing an presents when Mrs. Michalchuk spoke.

"Oh wait honey. I think I have one more present for Alex." She said. She was searching around the tree. "Ah, here it is." She pulled out a small present. It was wrapped in silver wrapping paper with little glittering stars. Attached to it was an envelope. She handed it to me.

I graciously took it and inspected the small box. I then slowly pealed the envelope off the present. I opened it and drew out the card. I recognized the handwriting immediately as Paige's. I read it slowly taking in every word.

_To Alex, _

_I hope your holiday's are full of cheer and love. _

_I hope you have a good Christmas and I hope you like the gift. _

_Love,_

_Paige_

I knew the first part was just printed on the card, but the second part. That was what Paige had written. I read it a few times. I hadn't expected this. I looked at the present wrapped in silver paper. I slowly and carefully unwrapped it. It was a black velvet box. I looked at it for a moment before opening it. Inside was a small golden heart shaped locket. It was similar to the one my mother had given me years ago. I removed the necklace from the box and held it up. It was gorgeous.

"Wow." Mrs. Michalchuk said, "Very pretty. Paige can pick jewelry."

"Yes she can." Dylan said looking the necklace too. "It's nice."

I smiled. It was nice. It was _very_ nice. I couldn't believe Paige had done this. I felt a sudden burst of happiness. I tried not to get to over excited. Mrs. Michalchuk looked as if she were going to say something when the phone rang. She made a quick dart to the kitchen.

"Hmm...Now lemme see here." Mr. Michalchuk knelt down to inspect the necklace. I felt suddenly awkward that Paige's present was drawing more attention than any other gift.

"Hmm...You know, this looks like it might have some real gold in it." He finished giving the necklace back to me.

I didn't know how to respond. Thank goodness Mrs. Michalchuk interrupted when she did.

"Common Bill, your turn!" She called him in to the kitchen. I hadn't noticed Dylan had even left the room. He came back out looking at me. He had a wide grin on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said. There was silence. Dylan walked over to his new hockey stick Mr. Michalchuk had bought him. "This was a good Christmas. Don't you think?"

"One of the best." I replied.

"Alright…Alright...Alex!" I heard Mrs. Michalchuk calling me. "Kitchen please."

I carefully put the necklace back into the velvet box. I kept it in my hand as I walked into the kitchen unsure of what Mrs. Michalchuk wanted. Mr. Michalchuk was one the phone.

"Oh, here she is." He said. He was talking to whom ever was on the other line. He quickly handed me the phone.

"Hello?" I said instinctively as I put it up to my ear.

"Hey. Merry Christmas Alex." Said the voice tenderly and I smiled.

"Merry Christmas Paige."

-------

**I know Paige is only having minor roles right now...but I'm getting ready to bring her in full force..I'm not sure exactly what's going to happen in the next chapter. I'm gonna start bringing them into spring and Alex is going to go to school and I got a few other things planned. I am really trying not to rush the story...so I'm sorry for all those who desperately want Paige to be in it...all I can say is soon.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I wasn't sure exactly where I wanted to go with this chapter. I did decide on bringing up some old things that hadn't been brought up in awhile. I also tried to get as much Dylan and Marco time as I could, but the chapter was already long enough. But don't worry, they are not leaving the story yet. Anyway, though this chapter is important I didn't find it so important I don't feel it's the most important chapter, so I might go back and change it around a little if I find it need to. But as of now, this is the final Chapter 16.**

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Chapter 16

A new year had finally come. Mrs. Michalchuk had thrown a small gathering for New Years Eve. Only a few of her and Mr. Michalchuk's close family friends came. Also, Marco had come excited to be spending New Year's Eve with Dylan. I invited Ellie since she said she had didn't have any plans. My conversation with Paige on Christmas was still fresh in my mind. Unfortunately, I hadn't had time to really talk to Paige. I had barely started a sentence when Mrs. Michalchuk had ripped the phone out of my hands to finish her conversation with Paige and give her a real guilt trip for not being home for the holidays. I had spent so much time after that examining the necklace. Every time I opened the velvet box was like I was opening it for the first time. I would always act like I didn't know what was inside. I was still in so much disbelief. I hadn't even gotten Paige anything. Thinking back to that night on the phone. I wondered if she had known? I didn't know, what I did know is that I had this beautiful necklace that I hadn't even worn yet. I decided to put an end to that on New Years Eve. Mrs. Michalchuk's party was semi-formal, so I threw on and old pair of jeans and decided to wear the black sweaters Mrs. Michalchuk had given me for Christmas. I put on the locket Paige had given me. It went perfectly with the outfit. I figured it would look perfect with anything. I took a moment to examine myself. I was surprised to find, I thought I actually looked decent. Definitely presentable. Mrs. Michalchuk had good taste in cloths..._naturally._ I went downstairs to join the party. Only a few guest had actually arrived.

"Whoa…Alex." Marco said as I came downstairs.

I smiled.

"You look nice." He finished.

"Cute sweater." Dylan commented. "Is that the one my mother gave you?"

"Yea." I replied.

"And is that a _heart_ shaped necklace your wearing?" Marco asked, "Well, someone has reformed to becoming a girly girl."

"It was a gift." I corrected. I could see Dylan grin as I subconsciously placed my hand up to the locket.

"From?" Marco questioned.

"Paige." I said. The name sounded strange to me. I had said Paige's name numerous times by myself, but in public it was different. Awkward, like no one was supposed to know about Paige. Only me.

"Wow." Marco said. He gave an odd look as if he were thinking about something for a second before speaking, "It's pretty." He finished.

"Thank you." I said hoping to end this conversation. There _had _to be something else to talk about. Before we could change topics the door bell rang.

"Can one of you kids get the door, please?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked. I knew she was referring to Dylan and me.

Dylan didn't look to eager to move.

"I'll get it." I said. I quickly darted over to the door as it sounded again. I opened it to find Ellie standing there. To my surprise she had dressed up. I thought she looked very beautiful. I had never actually really seen her in formal attire before. _Or maybe I hadn't actually ever paid attention._ I was actually speechless.

"uhhhh..." Was all I managed to get out.

"Hi." She said. "Sorry if I'm early."

No, your right on time." I told her. I moved aside to give her room to step in. "You look very pretty." I said suddenly.

She smiled at me, "Thank you. So do you. I like that necklace." She said as she took off her coat. I quickly rushed to take it from her.

"I'll hang this up here." I said as I opened the closet door.

"Okay." She acknowledge.

"Ellie!" Marco shouted from across the room. He quickly moved through the small group of people, Dylan was on his tale.

"Marco!" Ellie said embracing him in a tight hug. "How are you?"

"Good! I can't believe I haven't seen you since the holiday's started. How was your Christmas?" He asked smiling widely.

"It was good." She said as she nodded, "And you?"

"It was good. Look what Dylan got me." Marco lifted up his sleeve to revile what looked to be a very expensive watch.

"Nice." She said.

"It should be better than nice." Dylan laughed, "It cost me a fortune."

Marco laughed turning to him, "Well I think it's beautiful." He said as he leaned in to give Dylan a soft kiss on the lips.

"Ahh...that's why I like you." Dylan said returning the affection. I noticed Ellie blushing a little. She turned to look at me.

"Well then..." She was obviously trying to avoid looking at Marco and Dylan. I chuckled at her. I wasn't sure what to say. I was still speechless.

-------

I couldn't help but notice the entire night, my eyes kept wondering back to Ellie. I didn't know why. I would be nicely having a pleasant conversation with one of Mrs. Michalchuk's guests and my eyes would suddenly wander over to see what Ellie was doing. I would quickly return my gaze realizing I hadn't caught a word of what they had been saying. It was exhausting trying to carry a conversation and having no idea what the topic was on. Every so often I would walk by the mirror in the walkway to examine my necklace. It still had my attention just as much as Ellie did. I had also realized I hadn't even really talked to her since she had arrived. She was over at the party platters.

"How's the party?" I asked as Ellie was picking at some of the finger food.

"It's good." She said taking a bite of a cheese stick.

"I'm sorry if it's boring." I said.

"No, I'm not bored. And besides, it's better than being alone." She said.

"Your not alone." I said. Afterwards I realized how stupid that sounded. Ellie looked at me trying to process that too.

"I know." She said her voice had a bit of a _well obviously_ tone. I tried to save myself.

"I just mean, your don't have to be...or I'll always.. you know what…forget it." I said getting frustrated with myself.

Ellie smiled at me and took another bite of the cheese stick.

"Alright." She said. I thought I had scared her for a moment.

"I'm just really tired." I lied, I was wide awake, "Is it New Years yet?" I asked.

"Uhh.." Ellie looked behind me at the clock hanging on the wall, "Ten more minutes."

"Yay." I said. _I sounded like such an idiot._

"Wow..." She said now picking at some of the carrots and dip, "You must be tired."

"You have no idea." I lied again.

"Well, I'm really glad you invited me. It's funny to see you like this." She joked.

I laughed. I was scared to say anything for fear of sounding dumb again. She gave kind of an awkward smile and there was a silence between us. I couldn't have been happier when Marco came over to us.

"Hey guys. We got ten minutes till countdown." He said looking extremely upbeat.

"Yep." Ellie said not quite sharing his enthusiasm.

Again, I decided against speaking. Marco soon disappeared off with Dylan. It was just Ellie and me and the clock was ticking.

"So, we start school soon." Ellie said, obviously pulling for conversation.

"Yea, are you looking forward to it?" I asked.

"Not really." She answered.

"Oh, but think of all the time you get to spend with me." I joked.

"Hey, your the only reason I'm going to school." She jested back.

"It will be good for you." I said making semi-goofy face.

"Oh, you're the one to talk." She laughed.

_Were we flirting? _

"Alright you guys!" Mr. Michalchuk yelled and everyone started counting.

"_10...9...8...7..6...5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Years!"_ Everyone yelled.

I suddenly felt Ellie's arms wrap around me as she hugged me. I smelled her hair. _Apple. Nice._

"Happy New Years." She said.

"Happy New Years" I replied back as she released my from her hug. We gazed at each other for a second but were quickly interrupted by Mrs. Michalchuk who came over our area.

"Oh Ellie." She smiled, "Wonderful to see you again dear. Happy New Years." She embraced her in a hug.

"You too. Happy New Years." Ellie replied.

"How did I go through the evening without seeing you?" She questioned.

"I dunno." Ellie said.

"Well, I'm glad you came. It gave Alex somebody to talk to." Mrs. Michalchuk said smiling at me. She turned back to Ellie.

"Now, will you be staying the night?"

Ellie was obviously unprepared for this question, "Uhh...actually I hadn't planed on it. I have to get up early for work tomorrow. I don't actually get New Years off. "

"Oh, such a shame. So, how are you getting home?" She questioned. Mrs. Michalchuk was in mother mode now and there was no stopping her.

"Well, I had planned on taking the bus."

I could already see Mrs. Michalchuk was about to explode with horror. "At this hour? No, Alex will give you a ride. I'd take you home myself but I'm afraid I've had a few to many drinks tonight."

Ellie didn't dispute with Mrs. Michalchuk and I already knew I didn't have a choice.

-------

I had never actually driven Paige's van before. It was weird sitting in the drivers seat. I started the ignition as Ellie was getting in. Her perfume suddenly filled the car. _It smelt good._

"Alex, thanks for giving me a ride home." Ellie said as she buckled her seat belt

"No problem." I replied, "Now I just have to get the heat on. It's frickin' freezing."

The drive to Ellie's house was peacefully quiet. I sensed she was tired and the heat was beginning to make me feel drowsy myself. I was relieved when we finally reached her house.

"Alright, thanks for the ride. I'll call you so we can do something. Maybe you, me and Marco before he has to go back." She said as she was unbuckling her seat belt.

"That sounds good." I replied. "See you later."

"Bye." She said as she closed the van door. I waited until she was safely inside before taking off.

My drive home was plagued with so many thoughts. Ellie was my friend. She had always been my friend and nothing more. Though, she had looked so nice tonight and she smelt so good. Mrs. Michalchuk's comment from a few weeks ago ran through my head. _"She's cute."_ Yes, there was no denying Ellie was very pretty and she had smelt really good. I started to think about what it would be like to be with Ellie, but stopped myself. _No._ My hand reached down to my necklace. Instantly I felt those butterflies flutter. Ellie didn't even compare to Paige, but did I like Ellie? I had never thought about her like that before. I couldn't get my feelings straight. I like her as a friend..._maybe more?_ No. I finally settled my thoughts. Ellie was just a friend..._But god she smelt good. _

-----

**Sorry for the lack of Dylan and Marco. I'll try to have some more time with them in the next chapter. Also, I think I will be trying to get another Degrassi character in the story next chapter too. And don't worry, like I said I'm slowly working Paige into the story now. hehe...**


	17. Chapter 17

**I spent awhile trying to figure out where I wanted to go with this chapter. I'm really just building some more relationships with Alex and other characters. I also brough a new character in too. **

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Chapter 17

The next few days following New Years was spent in total distress. I had been wrapped up in my photography more than ever now in an attempt to clear my mind. Even though I decided I like Ellie just as a friend I couldn't seem to get her out of my mind. My feelings for Ellie though, were nowhere near as strong as my feelings for Paige. Even now, my feelings for Paige ran deeper than ever. I was beginning to ponder more and more why Paige had given my the necklace. Did she still having feelings for me? Or was it just a sign of good friends? I didn't know. Nevertheless, my heart still pounded faster at the thought that Paige had gotten me something _that _nice.

I was sitting on the couch trying to watch television, while Marco and Dylan fought over the programming.

"Hey, change it." Marco said.

"It want to see what happens." Dylan argued.

"It's a rerun. Let's go do something else." Marco suggested.

"Like?" Dylan asked.

"How about I take my wonderful boyfriend to lunch this afternoon." Marco said looking a little love-struck.

Dylan rolled eyes up to suggest he was thinking about it.

"Well..." He finally said, "If you insist."

"Alright. Let's go." Marco turned to me, "Alex, you wanna come?"

I laughed at the invite, "Ah, as tempting as it is. I'll pass. You two go and have fun and don't get into to much trouble now."

"We wont." Marco laughed, "We'll bring you back something."

"Sounds good." I said and they left.

I was alone. Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk had gone to look at a new bedroom set and wouldn't be back for awhile. I stretched out on the couch. My mind subconsciously drifted to Paige and the butterflies suddenly woke up. I rubbed my stomach and it only intensified the fluttering. I closed my eyes and imagined Paige. She was so beautiful in my mind. Her hair was straight and she was wearing a cute baby blue sweater. I reached out to touch her..._Dingdong_...dammit.

I opened my eyes. The door bell sounded again.

"Coming." I said to myself. I lazily rolled off the couch and walked to the door. I had barely gotten it halfway open...

"Alex?" I heard, "Hi."

"Hazel...just the person I wanted to see." I replied.

She gave me an odd look.

"What do you want?" I questioned.

"I've been trying to call Paige all day to see if she's home. Is she?" Hazel asked.

"No, she went on a trip. She's not coming home."

"Oh." Hazel said, "What are you doing here? You two haven't. Have you?"

Why does everybody bring this up? "No." I said bluntly. "We haven't."

"Okay." There was a pause as Hazel tried to make some sense of the situation, "So again, what are you doing here?"

I was beginning to grow tired of having to explain my situation to everyone. "I live here."

"Why?" Said dragged out the word. It wasn't caring a why, but more of a 'what were you thinking why'.

"Long story." I didn't hate Hazel and I'd even admit at times to actually liking her, but she was beginning to annoy me now. We broke our gaze from each other for a while and I waited for her to end the conversation with a goodbye. She didn't. Instead she took a step forward.

"Well then." She said as she gave a small gesture for me to move out of the doorway. I don't know why, but I immediately obeyed and she stepped inside. To took a deep breath as if trying to think of something to say.

"So have you lived here all year." She finally asked.

"Pretty much." I didn't know what she wanted but I decided to find out.

"Hazel is there a reason your still here?"

"I came to see if Paige was home. She isn't. Everyone else is busy. I'm bored and your here." She said. She didn't sound to enthused at the situation.

"So, by last resort I'm your company?" I asked.

"Pretty much." She rolled her eyes. I shrugged and walked back to the living room. I sat back down on the couch and turned on the Television. It was a minute or two later I saw from the corner of my eye Hazel taking a seat next to me. She seemed like she was feeling a little awkward. _Was she really that bored?_

"So how has your year been going Alex?" She asked.

"Good." I said not turning my head from the television. For a short while the only talking in the room was coming from the television. That ended quickly.

"Don't you want to know how my year's been?" Hazel finally asked annoyed she had to confront me about it. I didn't feeling like arguing.

"How has your year been Hazel." I said. My tone was sarcastic.

"It's been good. College really isn't as hard as I thought it would be." She said.

"Glad to hear it." I hadn't intended to sound so cold with my words.

"You know. If you want me to leave." Hazel finally said. She seemed a little upset. I didn't know why it made me feel so bad. I turned off the television not really caring for what I had been watching anyway.

"No Hazel. I just didn't expect to see you." I said as I turned to look at her.

"And I really hadn't expected to see you. Especially here of all places." She said. "And everything has been so different since I got back. Everybody is so wrapped up in their own things right now."

I could tell Hazel been feeling lonely and she was right. Things were different and there probably wasn't much for her to do here. Her only friend really had been Paige. I couldn't help but relate to Hazel's feeling of utter loneliness. In fact, it actually hurt me to know she was suffering like I had.

"Common." I said, "Let's go see a movie or something and then you can tell me how your year was."

Hazel had probably expected me to say a lot of things, but that not being one of them. She looked at me in almost amazement.

"What?" She said.

"Yea, let's hang out." I said. I don't think I've ever sounded friendlier...at least to Hazel.

She didn't seem to know how to respond.

"Alex, your not...ummm...falling..."

"No." I said as I finally realized what she was thinking.

"Oh...good." She smiled still not looking entirely sure.

"Hazel," I laughed, "Not now. Not ever."

She seemed to relax a bit.

"So, what's playing?" She said.

--------------

Hazel and I decided to see some cheesy romantic comedy. It wouldn't have been my choice but I decided to let her pick since she was after all the one who needed a little cheering up. I actually had to admit I had a pretty good time. Hazel was pretty open with me which made her easier to get along with. We talked about our year and I retold my story of how I somehow managed to move into Paige's house. She seemed to be generally glad I had a home.

"You know Alex, and this is just off the record, but I'd have to say you were one of Paige's best relationships." Hazel said during our conversation. Somehow talking about Paige with someone who really knew Paige made it easier.

"Well thanks." I said, not entirely sure how to respond I had actually had Hazel's approval for Paige. I don't know why, but that had actually meant something to me.

"So," Hazel began, "How is the whole lesbian thing working for you?"

I laughed. Maybe it was just the way she said it. I hadn't even found it offensive, but then again, I more or less expected those questions from Hazel.

"Pretty much working like the straight thing." I replied.

"You know Alex, I have to say I misjudged you." Hazel said.

"What does that mean?" I laughed again.

"I just mean your a cooler person than I thought. That's all."

In past circumstances I would have found that offensive, but I had come to learn Hazel was bluntly honest and at times even her compliments would sound like insults. I decided to just appreciate her compliment. I think that by the end of the day I had actually bonded with Hazel. Before we parted she actually gave me her number.

"Give me a call sometime. I don't leave until the 15th. We should hang out again. Maybe we can go shopping or something."

"Okay." I said as she hugged me.

As I got on the bus to go back home, I started thinking off all the things I had to do in the next few weeks. I had promised to hang out with Marco and Ellie too. And now Hazel? I started to feel a little overwhelmed, but I guess that's what it feels like to really have friends.

--------

**Sorry for the lack of Marco and Dylan, but I promise this isn't the last time you will see them. I also hope to keep Hazel in the story for a bit. I'm just not sure what her exact role is yet. I have a few things I want to cover in the next few chapters, but I need to figure out how I'm going to do them. Though, I haven't seemed to have to much writers block yet, so hopefully the next chapter will be up in a day or two. **


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter is just more of Alex interacting with characters. I don't really have much to say about it. **

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Chapter 18

Over the next week I had been so busy. If I wasn't at the movies with Marco and Dylan I was eating lunch with Ellie or out shopping with Hazel. I had been used to spending time with Marco and Ellie, but Hazel was something new. I actually found it easy to get along with her. She wasn't being her usual insulting self to me like she used to be. She would actually asked me what I thought of a sweater and point out things she thought I would like or would look good on me. I was actually enjoying her company. I had also had a lot of free time on my hands since I had quit my job at the mall. I wouldn't be starting my new job at the grocery store until the end of January. School would also be starting for in a few weeks time. Despite the fact I was beginning to get nauseating feeling in my stomach whenever I thought about it, the thought that Ellie would be there with me made me feel a rush of excitement.

I had just gotten back from shopping with Hazel and had just shut and locked the door when I heard Dylan from behind me.

"You're late for dinner." He said

"What? I said looking at my watch. Dinner's not for another half-hour." I replied

"We are having it early tonight because dad wants to watch the game...In peace." He said.

"Oh," I said, "I missed the memo."

"Well, I know I gave it to you." Dylan laughed. Dylan and I had bonded during his stay at home. He seemed to be more than okay with me living here and no longer seemed to be fretting about his room. Though I still knew he would rather not be sleeping in Paige's room. Dylan escorted me into the kitchen were Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk were already at the dinner table. There we putting food on their plates. Mr. Michalchuk looked up at me.

"Your late." He said sternly.

"Seriously? Was there a memo?" I asked forcefully. Mr. Michalchuk laughed at me.

"I gave it to her dad." Dylan joked as he took his seat.

I took a seat beside him.

"So Dylan," Mr. Michalchuk began, "I was thinking this year we could do our yearly camping trip in the early of March. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good." Dylan replied, "Though it might be a little rainy."

"Ah, a little rain never killed anybody. And this year I want to catch everything when it's in bloom. We will just bring extra supplies with us."

"Great more stuff to carry up the mountain." Dylan commented taking a sip of milk.

"Ah, it won't be that bad." Mr. Michalchuk started, "Besides this year we'll have Alex to help us."

I had been taking a bite of a chicken. I stopped half way through. I had barely being paying attention to their conversation until I heard my name. I looked up to see Mr. Michalchuk smiling at me. I didn't know what to say.

"Aww, Alex is no better than Paige." Dylan joked, "Paige used to get the same expression on her face when we tried to get her to go camping with us." Dylan laughed.

"Ah, I'm sure Alex can handle the outdoors." Mr. Michalchuk said still looking at me. I could see Dylan and Mr. Michalchuk were still waiting for a response but I was silence.

"Well, if nature really isn't your thing." Mr. Michalchuk finally said.

"No." I quickly answered. "I've just..." I stuttered, "I've just never been camping before and I dunno how good I am at..."

"Don't worry about that." Mr. Michalchuk said, "It will be good. Sometimes it's good to get away from it all. There is a lot of time to think and enjoy the beauty of nature up in the wilderness."

I smiled at him. Mr. Michalchuk winked at me before taking a bit from his roll.

---------

I do believe I have developed a new pet peeve while living at the Michalchuks: watching television with Dylan.

"You're not actually going to watch this are you?"

"Maybe I am?" I replied.

"Let's watch the Crocodile Hunter." Dylan suggested

"Or we could watch this." I said, "Besides, it's my pick. I have the remote."

Dylan crossed his arms and stared at the television in silence for a while. I knew with every inch in his fiber he was hating it. For the fun of it, I waited for him to break. Finally.

"Common. It's my turn to pick!" He finally burst out.

"Turn?" I questioned, "There are no turns. I got here first."

I smiled, "I have the remote. I have the power." I waved the remote in my hand.

I saw a smirk form on Dylan's face.

"Not for long." He laughed as he jumped on top of me struggling to get the remote out of my hands. I fought to put it behind my back. I was laughing and screaming. Dylan had grabbed my other arm so I could pass the remote. I was trapped.

"Alright, give it here." He laughed as he tried to pull my arm out from behind my back. I resisted as best as I could.

"No! Ahh!" I laughed. I tried to push him off me but I failed. Slowly I could feel my arm and the remote being forced out from behind my back. I tried to squirm and fight it but I only seemed to be tiring myself out.

Finally my hand and the remote were completely out in the open and Dylan was grabbing for it. I tried to get it out of his reach but couldn't. He tugged at the remote trying to break it from my grip. He finally succeeded.

"Yes." He hissed. He gave me a small smile before settling back down on the other end of the couch. He seemed to be getting cozy as he flipped through the channels.

I was totally out of breathe from the fight and was trying to regain my composure. I was still laughing.

"You suck." I said.

Dylan laughed. "Well, you put up a good fight. You're a little bit stronger than Paige."

I chucked at the thought of Paige wrestling with Dylan over the remote. It amused me. I decided I was to tired to try to fight for the remote back and I hadn't really cared about what I had been watching anyway. I decided to get up from the couch. I faked a frustrated grunt. As I walked by I decided to inform him of where I was going.

"Well, I'm going upstairs now to chill in _my_ room."

I could feel Dylan's eyes burning into my back. He hated it when I referred to it as _my_ room. He seemed to have liked to think he had been lending the room out to me. I chuckled to myself all the way upstairs.

---------

I was so friggin' bored upstairs. I laid on my bed. The last thing I wanted to do was think right now. I just wanted to talk to somebody. I didn't feel distressed, I just felt chit-chatty. I grabbed the phone pondering for a second who to call. I knew the best person to chit-chat with would be Hazel, but she wasn't the first person to come to mind. The only person I seemed to really want to call was Ellie. I could call Ellie. _Right?_ It was just a friend calling another friend. I decided that if she wasn't home I would just call Hazel or Marco. No big deal. I started to dial. I was feeling okay now. Then the phone started ringing. I wasn't feeling okay. No, I was fine. I took a deep breathe.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Ellie there?"

"Hey Alex."

"Hey." I said trying to sound cool and casual. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I was just reading. Not very interesting."

"I was just bored, so I thought I would call and see what's going on."

"Yea."

_God I hate it when conversation drags like this. _The lack of talking from Ellie started to make me nervous.

"We start school soon." Ellie suddenly said.

"Oh crap, yea. I forgot." I lied, but I felt I could go with it more in the conversation than, _I know._

I heard Ellie laugh. She had such a nice laugh. I wanted to make her laugh again.

"Well aren't we the eager one to learn?" She joked.

"I dunno, I guess I am." I had suddenly got serious.

"Well, I guess weren't not doing anything else. But I'm glad I have some classes with you. That should make class more interesting."

I laughed, "I'm really not that interesting."

"Alex, your like one of the most funniest people I know. Trust me when I say _nothing_ is boring when I'm around you."

I laughed again. It felt so good to hear her compliment me.

"Glad to hear it." I said sounding extremely upbeat now.

I heard her laugh again.

"Alex your so full of yourself." She joked.

Her comment made me laugh. I didn't know how to respond and hoped I wouldn't say something to stupid..._or too obvious_.

"I'm simply agreeing with you."

"Right." She laughed.

-------------

**I couldn't think of a good ending for this chapter and I didn't want to drag it on. So, just assume they kept talking. I haven't decided if I'm going to write one more chapter with Hazel, Marco, and Dylan before they go back to college or not. I'll have to see what ideas I come up with. I also do realize this story is getting pretty long. I'm going into more chapters than I thought I would, but I really don't want to rush the story. I have to many ideas to just pass over them. So I hope nobody minds a long story. **


	19. Chapter 19

**It took me awhile to figure out how I wanted to do this. I wasnt even sure if I wanted to make a chapter out of this. Though, I think it's a good way to say goodbye. **

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Chapter 19

The last few days before Marco, Dylan, and Hazel had to leave was spent hanging out them as much as I could. Dylan would be the first one to leave and he left on the Saturday. Marco, Ellie and I were all there to see him off.

"By Dylan." Ellie said giving him a hug.

"Dylan, I'm gonna miss you." I said as I also grabbed him in a hug.

"No you're not." He laughed.

"Maybe not." I joked back.

"Don't worry, I'll be back for the camping trip." He smiled at me before turning to Marco.

"Promise you'll call and write, oh and text!" Marco said looking at his boyfriend through puppy dog eyes.

"You know I will." Dylan smiled. He brought his forehead to meet Marco's. They stared at each other for a moment before Dylan leaned a little farther down and brushed his lips against Marco's. I don't know why but Ellie and I instantly turned to Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk who's faces were blank. They seemed to be undisturbed by this. It made me relax. I so glad they were so accepting. Of Dylan and of me.

Marco and Dylan parted and hugged.

"I love you." Dylan whispered in Marco's ear.

"I love you." Marco replied back.

Dylan then endured a long goodbye from Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk who made him promise to visit and call more often. Dylan's bags were already in the car. He just had one more handbag which he picked up. He waved goodbye and drove off.

"I miss him so much." Marco said. He had tears in his eyes.

"Marco, he hasn't even disappeared from view yet." Ellie said.

"But he's gone."

Ellie shook her head.

------

It was Marco's turn to leave the next day. Ellie, Hazel and me gathered at Marco's house.

"Marco, I'm going to miss you." Ellie said embracing him in a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you too." He replied.

Ellie gave a small smile as they parted.

"Come her." I said wrapping my arms around him in a melodramatic way. Marco laughed.

"Alex." He said shaking his head. "I'm going to miss you."

"I know." I joked. I gave him a small grin.

Hazel came over and grabbed Marco in a hug.

"Bye." She said.

"Bye Hazel." Marco replied. They parted and there was a silence.

"So when are you leaving?" Ellie finally asked.

"Oh, not for a few hours. I still have to finish packing and then I'm gonna wait for my parents to get off work so they can say goodbye."

"When will you be back?" Ellie asked.

"Probably not till summer." Marco replied.

"Well, we will make sure we have one hell of a summer." I joked.

Everyone laughed.

--------

The last person to finally leave was Hazel. We had dinner at the Dot the eve before she was to return to University. It was just Hazel and I. I had invited Ellie but she had to work.

"So, I do have to admit this has been a good holiday." Hazel said taking a sip of coke.

"Yea, I enjoyed the holidays too."

"You know Alex, I'm going to miss you." She said.

"Me too Hazel." I laughed. It felt weird saying that to her.

"Well, we will have to keep in touch." Hazel smiled.

"Definitely." I replied.

"And we can hang out over the summer." Hazel said, though I got the feeling it was more of a question.

"Sure, we'll hang out."

"And Paige will hopefully be back." She said cheerfully.

"Yep." I said. I turned my gaze back to my food.

"Oh, Alex. I'm sorry I forgot."

"No, don't be." I replied quickly.

Hazel stared at me for a moment.

"Alex? You don't still have feelings for...?"

"No." I lied, "I've moved on."

Hazel didn't look like she believed me.

"Alex." She chuckled, "How did you turn out to be so cool?"

"I've always been. You've just failed to notice." I said cockily.

"I guess so."

--------

**Sorry for updates being a little slow. I've been busy dealing with stuff. I also had a bit of writers block. I'm hoping to have chapter 20 up in a day or two. **


	20. Chapter 20

**This chapter is longer than I had expected it to be. And also, though I'm not ready to actually bring Paige into the story yet, there will be more talk of her, especially when it get's closer to her actually coming home.**

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Chapter 20

My life had dramatically slowed down since everyone had left to go back to school. It was just Ellie and me again, which I didn't particularly mind. We would also be starting school in a few days ourselves. It felt so weird to think I would be going back to school. I wasn't totally bummed though, I knew this would be good for me in the long run. Mrs. Michalchuk had taken me to buy my textbooks already and I had already started to glance at some of the things I would be doing. I really enjoyed reading my photography textbook. It talked about lighting and angles to help with effects of the picture. I hadn't thought about those before and I was eager to try their suggestions. I hadn't had time to really take any picture lately. So I was pretty excited to be getting back into it. Ellie had been calling me a lot lately too. We would sit on the phone for hours and talk about nothing. I cherished our phone conversations.

"Like that would ever happen." Ellie said.

"You never know. Maybe Craig will come back and decide he is nothing without his best drummer." I joked.

"Please, I'm an awful drummer." Ellie replied.

"I wouldn't know." I said playfully.

"Hey! That was your cue to say your awesome, Ellie." She laughed.

"Oops, Sorry." I said sarcastically, "Your awesome!" Ellie didn't know how much I had actually meant it.

I heard her laugh and I thought of her smile.

"You know, now I wish I would have heard your band play."

"I don't. Then our conversation right now would consist of you telling me how awful I played." She laughed.

"Ellie, you know I would _never_ do that." I joked back.

"Sure you wouldn't." I could tell she was rolling her eyes.

I laughed.

"You know, we should start a band." Ellie was sounded serious.

"You wanna start a band?" I replied

"Yea, it would be fun. Besides, it's not like we have anything else to do."

"School." I said

"That doesn't start till tomorrow." Ellie joked and I couldn't help but laugh. "Besides, it doesn't have to serious. I kinda wanna play again."

"Well," _How could I fight her Ellie charm?_ "I did want to learn to play bass."

"We need a guitar." Ellie replied.

"A bass _is _a guitar." I argued

"Not the kind we need."

"And I suppose you're going to want me to sing too."

"Well, if you insist." Ellie laughed

"I don't." I chuckled.

"But Alex." Ellie wined.

"No, I only sing for..." I cut myself off. I had only ever really sang for Paige. Only for Paige, upon request of course. Paige had begged me one night to sing her to sleep with a lullaby. I had refused, but Paige's power over me had been strong. I had never sang for anyone else.

There was silence on the phone.

"Alex, are you there?" I heard Ellie say.

"Yea," I replied.

"Are you okay?"

"Yep, I was just browsing through my photography book." I lied. I didn't want her to know I was thinking about Paige.

"Okay." She said.

There was silence again.

"So what time do we have to be at school tomorrow?" Ellie asked

"Well, English starts at 8:30."

"Fun." Ellie said sarcastically.

"Did you need a ride?" I blurted out.

"Umm..." Ellie was thinking.

"Mrs. Michalchuk's is taking me, she won't mind. She lives for this kind of stuff." I said trying to sound calm and collect.

"Yea, sure." Ellie accepted.

"This way we can be lost trying to find out classroom together."

Ellie laughed. "Well, I better go. What time are you coming to pick me up?"

"Probably around eight." I said.

"Alright, I'll be ready. See you then!"

"Bye."

What was wrong with me? Why was I feeling this feeling with Ellie. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. I didn't even understand how I was feeling. I went over to my desk and pulled out the locket from Paige. I held it tight in my hand. It had become my comforter. It was the closes thing I had to Paige and I cherished it dearly. It helped take my mind off Ellie for awhile. Everything I was feeling now was from the thought of Paige. When I could no longer stand the thought of her, I put the necklace back in it's box and out of sight. I looked at the clock. _9:02 p.m._ I crawled into bed. It felt so warm and calm. I was out instantly.

-----

"Here, you need to eat up dear." Mrs. Michalchuk said putting one more pancake on my plate. "You need all the energy you can get."

"Thanks." I said as I started eating the pancake even though I was beginning to feel full.

"We need to hurry up if we are to be on time to your friend's house. We don't want to be late for our first day of school."

Mrs. Michalchuk was obviously excited about my returning to school. She didn't even try to hide it. I quickly finished the food left on my plate. Then I stuffed my books in my backpack and we were out the door.

---

"So," Mrs. Michalchuk began as we were driving to Ellie's. "You've been seeing this Ellie girl a lot lately."

"She is pretty much my only friend right now." I replied trying to sound calm. I didn't want to talk about this.

"Oh." Mrs. Michalchuk said bluntly. I wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"She's not my girlfriend." I said bluntly. I was ready to end this conversation.

Mrs. Michalchuk was silent, so I continued.

"Ellie and I are friends. That's it." I finished. I felt I had gotten my point across.

She was still silent, but she seemed to understand. We pulled up to Ellie's house and like usual, the door swung open and out emerged Ellie bundled up in her winter coat looking like a teddy bear. I chuckled to myself as she swung open the van door.

"Hey Alex. Hello Mrs. Michalchuk." She said as she climbed inside.

"Hey." I replied.

"Hello dear." Mrs. Michalchuk said, "Are you all ready for school?"

"I think so."

"That's good."

And at the click of Ellie's seat belt we drove off towards Toronto Community College.

-----

Mrs. Michalchuk tried to pull up as close as she could but the parking was outrageous.

"Alright dears." She began, "What time to you two get out?"

"Well, we both have English and then Math right after. We should be done before noon." I said.

"Oh, well that's not going to work."

"It's okay. I planned on taking the bus." I said.

"Yea, really it's fine Mrs. Michalchuk."

Mrs. Michalchuk looked a little disappointed but sighed.

"Alright then. Alex, I'll see you when I get home."

"Alright." I said as I got out of the van.

"Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Michalchuk." Ellie said as she jumped out of the van.

Mrs. Michalchuk rolled down the window.

"You girls know where you're going, right?" She said.

"Don't worry, we'll find it." I said.

Mrs. Michalchuk nodded and took off.

"Well then. Let's see, we need to be in GE102." Ellie said looking at her schedule.

"Alright, where is that?" I asked looking around trying to find something that looked helpful.

"I think it's that way." Ellie said looking at the map on the back of schedule.

"Okay-dokay." I said and we headed off.

------

**I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to do about Alex going to college. Though I don't really want to write about every little thing that happens with Alex while she is at college with Ellie, I kind of feel her going to college is kind of important to her growth, so I will be spending some time with that. Though I don't expect I will be writing full length chapters about it either. **


	21. Chapter 21

**I had actually wanted to make this into two chapters but decided against it. I do feel Alex going to college is important but I don't really feel I need to get into a whole lot of detail about her education. **

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Chapter 21

Well, finding the classroom was harder than Ellie and I could have imaged. There were so many buildings and so many numbers. I was surprised to find that we actually did show up to class on time. The room looked old and the paint was beginning to peel off. The board was completely covered in chalk

"Looks cozy." I said.

"Really." Ellie replied sarcastically.

We found two seats in the back. I was relieved to know we were sitting together. I pulled out my textbook. I was actually going to try to do well this semester and I felt I should be as ready as possible. Ellie noticed and mimicked my action.

"So this is college." She stated.

"Yep." Was all I could think of in reply.

We sat staring at our books for awhile then the Professor finally walked in. He was a tall man with dark hair and rather young. He didn't even look like he noticed the students in the classroom. He placed his bag down on the desk in front of the class and started removing books and papers from it. When he was finished he looked up and smiled.

"Welcome to English 1A. My name is Professor Wilson and I don't go by Professor Will. This class will focus on your ability to comprehend and write in the English langauge. It will also widen your knowledge about literature. Any questions?"

The class was silent. So he continued.

"Good. Shall we begin then?"

-------

"Okay, was he not beyond cute or what? You know, I think I'm really going to enjoy English." Ellie said as we left the classroom.

I looked at Ellie is disgust.

"Oh, right. Sorry Alex. I forget."

"It has nothing to do with that. He's a teacher Ellie."

"I know. But there is nothing wrong with a little eye candy." Ellie replied looking a little excited.

I gave a doubtful look.

"Alex, don't worry. We can find you some eye candy too. That girl who sat in the front row was kinda hot."

"Not my type." I replied. I was a little surprised to find that it didn't really bother me that Ellie had a crush on the English teacher. I had known Ellie was straight. I also knew nothing was ever going to happen between them. Besides...to me Ellie was more of an _infatuation._

"Well what is your type?" Ellie said, she was digging through her bag for her schedule.

"I dunno." I replied. I really wanted to talk about something else now.

"We'll, we will figure it out. Besides, maybe our math teacher will be a really hot girl." Ellie said trying to cheer me.

"Maybe." I said doubtfully.

"Let's see." She began looking at the map, "We have class this way."

------

The math class was noticeably brighter than our English room and bigger. Ellie and I picked seats in the middle so were weren't to close or to far from the board. We had a few minutes of pleasant chit-chat before an older man wearing a cotton suit entered the classroom. He walked right to the desk in the front of the class and removed a math book. He glanced around the room. His face was stern and serious. He turned around and wrote his name on the board. _Professor Shwiz_.

"Alright. Lets get started." He said.

------

"Well, think it's safe to say that Professor Shwiz is definitely not my type." I laughed as Ellie and I walked out of class towards the bus stop.

"I think so too." Ellie replied, "I can't believe he gave us homework on our first day of class."

"I can."

"What time do you have class tomorrow?" Ellie asked as we took our seats waiting for the bus.

"Umm.." I said thinking, "Not till 11:00 I think. You?"

"I don't have mine till 2:00."

"That's when mine gets out." I said.

"Wow, photography is a long class." Ellie said.

"Lots to do." I said cheerily.

"You sound excited." Ellie replied.

"I am."

-------------------

I was actually excited to wake up the next morning. I had pretty much read my entire photography book from cover to cover and I had even noticed a dramatic improvement in my photography skills. I knew I would be taking the bus today because Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk had work. I spent the earlier part of the morning working on my math homework which I managed to get through pretty easily. Around 10:00 a.m. I decided to head off towards the bus stop. I was determined not to be late. I made it to the classroom fifteen minutes early. I was very pleased with myself for being one the first people there. I took a seat close to the front. Slowly people started gathering into the classroom. Finally the professor appeared. She was medium height with long dark hair. She was middle aged but was very pretty. She wasn't like the other teachers. Instead of first ignoring the class and heading straight to the desk she stopped at the center and clapped her hands together.

"Welcome. I am Professor Evelyn Graham, but please...please...please...I prefer to be called Eve. I hope everyone is looking forward to a fun filled semester of photography. This is photography I, so I assume everyone here has had little no experience in photography. So I don't expect to be seeing professional work here." She smiled and continued, "Though should any of you posses the hidden talent."

She had me hanging on every word. I was actually taking notes.

"Well first off, I consider photography to be an art. Something of free expression. During the course of the semester I will try to limit the rules of what you can and cannot do for your assignments. I believe photography is about capturing a moment you want to hold on to forever and it is you, not me, who can decided what that moment is."

The class was silent and Eve continued.

"Now let's get started by getting to know each other a little bit. I'll start. I am Evelyn Graham. I grew up in Winnipeg Ontario. I attended Banting and majored in Liberal Arts. I am a huge activist and I believe everyone has the right to live by their own rules. And oh, by the way...for the record, I'm not a hippie." She laughed as she finished. The class also chucked. I thought she was purely brilliant.

"Alright then..." She continued, "Lets move on."

We moved around the class and everyone shared something about themselves. Sometimes Eve would stop the person and ask them questions. I started to get little tense and she moved closer and closer to me. I hated to talk about myself and I didn't want to so seem anti-social or curt like I sometimes did. I wanted to appear nice and friendly. Finally she got to me.

"And what's your name?" Eve asked. I could feel the class's eyes staring at me

"Alex." I said.

"Okay, Alex. Tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Okay," I started, "Well, I was born and raised here and I attended Degrassi High. Oh and I like photography. That's about it." I couldn't think of damn thing I had ever done in my life.. All my memories seemed to have taken a vacation.

"Well, what do you like to do?" Eve tried to encourage me to speak more, "Do you have any hobbies or passions or interests?"

I tried to think but nothing came to me..._common, I must have done something._

"Just hang out with friends. I work a lot...and I was vice-president in 11th grade."

"Alex, aren't we the modest one." Eve smiled and I instantly blushed.

I quickly turned my head down hoping no one noticed.

"Alright then. Lets move on." I head Evie say.

I looked up. She was still smiling at me.

-------

**I'm goin to be brining the photography a little more into play within the next few chapters. I'm doing this because this will be important in the story later. But obviously the story isn't about Alex and her camera so I wont be spending too much time with it. But there will be things here and there. I also have a good 85-90 of the rest of the story worked out so I pretty much know exactly where I'm going and what's going to happen. And it hasn't changed much since I started writing (I've always known where I was going.) And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the camping trip. That will still be a chapter or two away. The camping trip will also be the last huge event to happen with Alex before Paige enters the story. After that it will just be Alex resolving a few things (which I only expect to be a few chapters.) And then I will be Paige. I know everyone is ready for Paige now. (It's getting close.) Every chapter brings the story closer and closer to Paige. **

**Okay that was just to give you all an idea of where the story is. I am getting close to the end of Alex's journey without Paige. But like I've said, I'm not going to rush it. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry this chapter took me longer then normal. I have been busy with some stuff. This chapter is just kind of a way to keep the story going. So I'm not just jumping into things. It's just a time filler so you know what's been happening. It kind of moves around from people and places. I didn't think anything was to important in this chapter to really go into extreme detail about. Though I'll revisit some of the stuff in a later chapter.**

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Chapter 22

I had found my photography class to be completely amazing. I looked forward to going and babbled every night on the phone will Ellie about how fun the class was and how great Eve was. I don't think Ellie had ever seen this side of me before. I don't even think I've seen this side of me before. I felt like a five year old child who found out they won a lifetime supply of candy bars. I had never felt this excited about anything before. I was even giving Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk an earful.

"It sounds like you are really enjoying this class." Mrs. Michalchuk said during dinner one night. I had just finished telling my play by play on my photography class.

"I am." I said taking a bit of chicken.

"I'm glad to hear it." She relied.

"You know Alex, when we go camping there will be lots of great sites to take picture of." Mr. Michalchuk, "I know you'll love it."

I smiled. I didn't like the idea of camping but I did love the idea of being able to take real pictures of nature and not just of what grew in the back yard.

"Oh Alex, Leo the owner of _Friends with Food _called today. He said you can start this Saturday." Mrs. Michalchuk said.

"Alright. That sounds good." I replied. I wasn't to enthused about having to work again but the thought of getting a pay check again was nice.

-----

"Alright, I just want to say you have all done an excellent job with your portfolios. I know you've only been working on them for a month. I also want you too keep in mind that this will be your professional portfolio so make sure you keep it neat and organized." Eve said as she passed them back.

Eve walked back around to me to hand me my portfolio. "Nice work, Alex." She smiled as she handed it to me.

"Thanks." I said taking it from her.

We spent the rest of class going over camera lenses. Finally we were dismissed from class and I gathered my photography book and portfolio and started heading for the door feeling pleased with myself.

"Alex, do you have a sec?" I heard as I as was approaching the door. I turned around.

"Sure." I replied walking back to Eve.

"I just wanted to let you know your doing a great job in this class. Your first assignments were good and they keep getting better." She smiled. I was surprised to hear her say those things to me.

"Thanks." I said, "I'm really enjoying the class." I felt I had sounded stupid but maybe it was just because I was being honest.

"I can tell." She replied. "I just wanted to tell you to keep up the good work."

I spent the rest of the day thinking about my conversation with Eve. I couldn't believe she really liked my work. What she had said had really made me feel good. I had never considered myself a bad photographer but I never considered myself to great either. I looked over some pictures I had taken since Mr. Michalchuk had given me the camera. I compared them to the pictures in my portfolio. I thought they all held good quality but I could see a difference with my recent shots. Those tips on lightings and angles had really enhanced my them. I had never really had a skill before this and I was so excited to finally have some hobby to call my own.

------

The rest of my classes were coming along fine. English was pretty easy, though it started to get annoying hearing Ellie talk about Professor Wilson non-stop. She would comment on his cloths, his hair, his eyes, his ears, his nose...it was enough to want to jump of a bridge. I couldn't say anything however because my talking time was spent discussing Photography and Eve.

"So, I see you've found some eye candy." Ellie said during a study session we were having one night.

"I like her, but not like that. She's just a great teacher." I replied looking up from my math book.

"Uh-hum." Ellie said looking completely focused on her book.

"Seriously El." My voice was getting stern. "Why do people think that just because I'm a lesbian it automatically means I like every girl I see?"

"Whoa there... I'm sorry." She said looking up from her work, "But really Alex. It's been a while since you and Paige broke up. And you never seem to talk about anyone. Is there anyone else besides Paige who has ever... caught your eye?"

I was silent. I didn't even know how to answer the question.

"Alex, it's not like it isn't obvious you still have feelings for Paige. Even if you don't want to admit it, you know you do. But, you really should start looking to move on." I was suddenly upset with Ellie but she had sounded so caring and concerned I couldn't yell or scream at her. I could only nod and remain silent.

"Alex common. I'm your friend. Talk to me." She insisted.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"There we go." Ellie smiled back.

"Ellie," My voice was sounding serious again, "It's not Paige that's...I mean…it's just..." I struggled to explain myself but I wasn't even sure what I wanted to say.

"It's hard." I finally spat out.

"I know." Ellie replied. "We'll find you someone."

Despite the fact I knew I didn't want to get into another relationship I was amused by Ellie being so eager to help me try to find someone.

"So Alex, what is your type?" Ellie said carefully as if I might get offended.

"I dunno." I replied, "I just like who I like. I can't help it."

"But you never _check out_...like certain girls or anything?" I could tell it was weird for Ellie to be talking about girls with another girl. It only amused me more.

"Just who ever catches my attention." I replied.

"Okay, well who tends to catch your attention?"

I laughed at the fact Ellie wasn't going to drop the subject, "I don't know. Just girls. I like girls but I mean I'm not girl crazy!" I spat out still half laughing.

"Okay...okay..." Ellie replied. I could tell she was going to drop the subject.

"So how is your English paper coming along?" I asked trying to get back into conversation after moment of silence.

"It's coming alright. It's a hard assignment."

"Tell me about it. And Mr. Wilson only gave us two days to do it." I complained.

"Yea, he is beginning to irritate me. He's so hard." Ellie replied looking away from me.

"Aww...have we changed our mind about our teacher?" I joked.

Ellie smiled. "Alex. That's not funny. He's still cute, but he's a little mean." She sighed turning back to look at her assignment.

I chucked and shook my head.

---------

My first day of work At _Friends with Food_ was actually a nice experience. The people there were really nice and welcomed me right in. I was a cashier, so I got to spend the afternoon chit chatting with customers as they made their way through the line. It was a lot nicer than the mall where I had to wait on them hand and foot. I made a mental note to myself to get Mrs. Michalchuk a thank you gift for getting me this job. This was considerably less stressful than my other job. Leo, the owner, said he was very understanding about me being in school so if I needed to take a day or something it would be okay. Also, to my surprise my shift went by very fast and I was able to go home and finish working on my portfolio for Tuesday's class. I added some pictures I had taken over Christmas that I thought would really add to the quality of my portfolio. I browsed through it a few times to make sure everything was in order and to enjoy something that I myself had created.

-------

**The next chapter will be getting ready for the camping trip. I'm thinking i'm only going to need a chapter but I might need two (because I don't plan on making it the only focus of the chapter.) and then the next few chapters after that will be the actual trip. I don't expect to be so busy this week so hopefull i'll the the next chapter up in a day or two and the camping trip up early this week.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I decided to start going right into the camping trip. This chapter is a little short but since I'm trying to wrap this up in three chapters the next chapter should be longer. **

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Chapter 23

The next few months went by very smoothly. I hadn't run into any major complications with my life and I was feeling pretty good. Work was going very good. So was school, though my English and Math class were intensifying in work I still somehow managed to keep up. My photography assignments were also becoming harder as well, but I didn't mind that. I enjoyed doing the assignments. Ellie and I would try to have at study session at least once a week sometimes more if we could. I was so glad I had Ellie to tackle school with, it seemed to make it less difficult. Mr. Michalchuk had spent the last week reminding me about our camping trip. He told me stories of previews trips and he even showed me pictures of the area. I looked very pretty. Dylan was suppose to come back Thursday night and we would leave early Friday morning. We wouldn't be due back until late Monday. Lucky for us our trip fell on a holiday so Dylan and I would only be missing one day of school instead of two. That Wednesday night was spent in the garage with Mr. Michalchuk trying to get out all our camping equipment. He wanted to see what we had tonight so tomorrow we would know what we needed when we went shopping for supplies. I stood at the bottom of the ladder as Mr. Michalchuk handed me fishing poles, two tents, life jackets, hiking packs, ice chests, sleeping bags, two hunting rifles, comfort mats, flashlights, and two canoe paddles. We lined everything up and Mr. Michalchuk went through and inspected everything. We pitched up the tents to make sure everything was alright with them. Then we complied a list of supplies we would need: fishing bate, batteries, bug spray, sun block, lighters, gas for the electric heater, water, and some snack foods. He said we may add more to the list later if he thought of anything. I looked through the equipment.

"Are we going to bring all of this?" I asked examining one of the flashlights.

"Yes we are." He replied, "Though we may not get around to using it all. It's better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it. Especially in the wilderness."

I put the flashlight down and looked at the rile, "We are actually going hunting?" I asked trying to image Mr. Michalchuk or Dylan hunting.

"Oh, probably not." Mr. Michalchuk laughed, "It's just for safety really."

"Safety?" I replied my gaze shifted from the rifle to Mr. Michalchuk.

"Oh you know. From bears and such." He said starting to take down the tent.

"Bears?" I squealed, I hadn't meant for my voice to get so high pitched.

Mr. Michalchuk broke out in a heavy chuckle.

"Yes." He said, "But not to worry, it's only precaution."

"But aren't there like forest rangers there if we run into trouble or anything?" I asked not liking the idea of really have to fend for ourselves.

"Yes, but Dylan and I camp deep into the forest. So we are pretty much on our own. We like to experience nature at it's fullest."

"I see." I said not feeling entirely convinced I wasn't going to get killed on this trip.

"Don't worry, Alex. Dylan and I do this every year. There is nothing to worry about."

"Right." I said, still not feeling totally convinced.

-------

Thursday morning Mrs. Michalchuk woke me up at 8:00 and told me that Mr. Michalchuk wants to get the shopping out of the way early. So I reluctantly got up and showered. I dressed myself in jeans and a white t-shirt and went down for breakfast. Mr. Michalchuk and I ate quickly without much conversation. Then we were off to go shopping for supplies. Our first stop was the sporting good store. Mr. Michalchuk reminded me to stick to list but if we spotted anything that would enhance our trip not to hesitate to investigate further. This was one of the biggest sporting goods stores I had ever seen. They must have had everything. Mr. Michalchuk allowed me little time to browse as he rushed me back to the camping equipment.

"Look at this flashlight." He said pulling a big box off the shelf.

"We already have a flashlight." I reminded him.

"Yes, but not like this. Last year Dylan and I almost got lost on a midnight hike because we didn't have enough light to see where we were going. I really think we could use this." He said placing the box in the cart.

I didn't argue. We managed to pick up most of the things on the list without any trouble as well as get a few extra things that Mr. Michalchuk thought might come in handy. Our last stop was to the grocery store to pick up of a few snacks and drinks. Mr. Michalchuk kept reminding me however, that most of our meals would come from whatever we caught. Shopping for supplies took pretty much the entire day. I had no idea that Mr. Michalchuk was just as much of a shopper as Mrs. Michalchuk. We made it home around five and to our surprise we saw non-other than Dylan's car parked in the drive way.

"He's early." Mr. Michalchuk commented as he pulled into the garage.

I grabbed a few bags before going inside. Dylan and Mrs. Michalchuk looked to be deep in conversation but welcomed me as I came in.

"Here dear, let me get those." She said taking the bags from my hands.

"Alex." Dylan said in a playful voice, "Come here you." He held is arms out.

I rolled my eyes playfully as we embraced.

"How've you been?" I asked still holding him tight in the hug.

"Good." He replied as we parted. "You?"

"I'm doing swell." I replied playfully.

"I hear school's going good. You really like your photography class." He grinned.

I glanced over Mrs. Michalchuk at the thought of them having a conversation about me. I looked back at Dylan,

"Yea, I really like the class." I smiled.

Dylan shot a glance at his mom then back at me, "I know," he said exhaustedly, "that's all my mom talked about."

I laughed.

"So, you, me, dad, camping tomorrow." He said.

"Yep, I can't wait." I said sarcastically.

"Ah, your going to have a good time. You wait and see." He smiled.

"Dylan. Alex." Mrs. Michalchuk called from the garage, "I'm not the ones going camping tomorrow." She said irritably signifying we should be helping bring in the supplies.

"Sorry, coming." I replied back. "Common," I said tugging on Dylan's sleeve. "Come see all the cool things we got."

Dylan smiled and followed me into the garage.

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**Sorry updates are taking a little longer. I've been busy. I'm going to try to start writing chapter 24 tonight. ****There is a lot I want to happen during the camping trip but I also don't want it to go on for to long. I'm hoping to finish it and have them home in the next few chapters. **


	24. Chapter 24

**For some reason I found this chapter hard to write. Though I am not completely sastified with this chapter I don't feel it's important enough to keep going over it. I'm really just trying to work out Alex's feelings now. By the end of this trip I want her to be more clear with who she is and what she wants and this trip is going to important in helping put things in perspective. This chapter is also a litte longer than my normal lengths. I really don't want this trip to exceed three chapters. I don't feel it's important enough. But anyway, I hope you enjoy it. **

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Chapter 24

I was awoken at 4:30 a.m. the next morning by Mr. Michalchuk.

"Common sweetpee. Time to get up." He said shaking me. I groaned. I wanted so bad to just go back to sleep. Mr. Michalchuk pulled the covers off me and I felt like I had fallen into ice water. He grabbed both my hands and pulled me to a sitting position.

"You gotta get up. We gotta get going."

I could only grunt. Thank god I had packed last night so all I had to do was shower and double check myself. I tried my hardest not to fall asleep during my shower but found it difficult. Luckily for me I beat Dylan so every five minutes or so I was startled by Dylan knocking on the door nagging me hurry up. I finally got annoyed and got out. I quickly dried my hair and got dressed. We all managed to be ready by 5:30. With all three of us helping it only took a few minutes to put everything in the Van. Mr. Michalchuk went down the list of everything we should have and Dylan and I checked it.

"Alright then. That's everything. Let's pile in." Mr. Michalchuk said sounding very upbeat for this time of morning.

Mr. Michalchuk took the drivers seat. Dylan took the front seat and I sat in the back with all the equipment. I didn't mind though. I could sleep and I was all for that.

------

The drive went pretty smoothly. We stopped around eight to get some breakfast and then continued on our path up to the forest. Mr. Michalchuk had anticipated a good six hour drive. The first few hours went by fast considering I was out cold...but about half way the road started to get rough and every time I started to nod off I'd get rocked back awake. I felt like I was on a roller coast ride. Dylan would glance back at me every once and awhile to make sure I still alive.

"You alright back there?" He asked.

"Yea." I replied tiredly.

"Just checking. We hadn't heard anything from you in awhile." He smiled.

I kindly returned the smile. We seemed to only be getting deeper and deeper into the forest. Judging by how much the van was bouncing back and forth we seemed to have left the road completely. I was beginning to feel motion sickness. I did even know I could get motion sickness. I was about to lose my breakfast when the van finally pulled to a stop.

"We're here." Mr. Michalchuk annoucned as he shut off the van engine. I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the van and breathe some fresh air. It smelt like pine. Not my favorite scent, but at least it was clean and crisp. It had been a long ride and my legs were so sore I had almost thought I had lost my ability to walk. It felt so good to finally be able to stretch out. I looked around. We seemed to be in the middle of the wilderness. There were no signs of any humans. A few feet were I was standing there some small stones arranged in a circle. I assumed it was to build a fire. The sight made me feel better. We were actually at a camp site and not in just some random spot in the forest.

"Alright, let's start unloading the van. We need to make camp." Mr. Michalchuk said opening the trunk of the van.

Dylan and I hurried to get everything out. Both tents in total took about half and hour to pitch up. Mr. Michalchuk was going to take the smaller tent and Dylan and I would stare the bigger one. It was about noon by the time we had set everything up and I could practically hear my stomach rumbling throughout the forest.

"Okay then. Let's get something to eat." Mr. Michalchuk said grabbing the fishing poles and bate, "The river is this way."

Dylan grabbed me by the arm, "Common. Time to catch some food!" He said sarcastically.

"Fun!" I returned in the same tone as his. Dylan dragged me all the way down to the river.

I could hear the water flowing as we reached the river. It was very pretty and I made a note to myself to return with my camera and get some shots of it.

"Dylan, you get started. I have a feeling Alex is going to need a little help." Mr. Michalchuk grinned.

"Fishing can't be that hard." I replied. Dylan laughed before grabbing the bait and picking a nice spot next to the river.

"Alright kiddo." Mr. Michalchuk said as he grabbed a fishing pole and bait. He attached the bait to the hook. "Come right here." He said walking to the edge of the river.

I obeyed following him until I could feel the jagged edges of the rocks pushing against the bottom of my shoes.

"Take this." He said handing me the fishing pole. I took it in my hand. I could fee Mr. Michalchuk's arms wrap around me. He placed his hands over mine so he had hold of the fishing pole too.

"Okay. Ready?" He asked. I nodded.

I could feel his hands pull up and the fishing pole followed. Suddenly I felt my arms whip back down and I saw a long string flying out towards the water before making a little splash.

"There you are." Mr. Michalchuk smile, "Now hold the pole like this and wait for a tugging motion. If you feel something let me know."

"Ok." I said as I focused my gaze on the string bobbing up and down in the water. After awhile legs started to ach and I found a small bolder which I could sit on. I looked around to see Dylan and Mr. Michalchuk both with fishing poles in their hands. Despite the fact I thought this was completely boring, I felt somewhat relaxed. At peace.

"Anything Alex?" Dylan called to me.

"Nope." I replied.

Suddenly I felt a tug on my line. Mr. Michalchuk noticed the string in the water thrashing around.

"You got something!" He exclaimed putting his pole down and hurrying over to me. "Steady...steady..." He said. He didn't take my hands like he did when I started. He was letting me do this by myself.

"Now slowly reel her in." He said watching eagerly. I could see little splashes in the water as I started reeling in the string. The splashes got closer and closer until I could see the fish squirming trying to break free.

"Holy cow!" Dylan exclaimed, "That's a big one!"

"That's it...nice and slow." Mr. Michalchuk said...he now had his hand hovering over mine just in case he decided I needed the extra help. Finally the fish broke free of the water and it was hanging in mid air as I reeled it all the way to the top of the pole. It continued to squiggle for a few moments before going limp.

"Well...look at that. That's got to be seven pounds. Great catch Alex!" He said cutting the string from the pole and holding up the fish. I felt proud.

"Dad!" Dylan exclaimed. It appeared Dylan had something on his line too.

"Well, it looks like we are going to have a good lunch and dinner today." Mr. Michalchuk exclaimed.

--------------

One of the grosses things I had ever done in my life was gut a fish. Dylan was helping me and mostly doing all the work. He spent most of the time laughing at all the disgusted faces I would make while we were cleaning the fish. We had managed to catch four and I was now beyond belief starving. Dylan and I had only managed to finish gutting one fish when Mr. Michalchuk came over to us.

"I'll finish this. Why don't you two go wash your hands in the river and then collect some fire wood. I want to have a nice camp fire tonight." Mr. Michalchuk said helping me up to my feet.

Dylan and I both walked down to the river together.

"So, how are you liking the trip?" He during our stroll.

"Well, I haven't died yet." I laughed.

"Your not going to die. I swear you girls...a little time away from the city and you think life as you know it has ended. Is it a wonder I don't like girls." Dylan shook his head.

"Maybe that's why I do." I laughed.

I dipped my hands in the water. It was ice cold. I removed them for a second by reflex before submerging them again. My hands stung so bad I actually had to wince while I cleaned them. I glanced over at Dylan whose hands seemed to be unaffected by the cold water. I pulled my hands out of the river and shook the water off them. My hands hurt so bad they were almost numb. I rubbed them together to try to get some feeling back in them. Dylan was still washing his hands so I took a seat on a bolder next to him and waited. He glanced over at me a few time smiling. I pretended not to notice. I kept my focus on the river. Suddenly my face was stinging and I could feel it trickling down into my shirt. I turned my gaze to look at Dylan who was grinning. I put my hand back into the water, ignoring the pain, I splashed the ice cold water in Dylan's direction. He brought his arms up to cover himself.

"Hey!" He laughed splashing back.

I laughed as the cold water stung my hands and face. I managed to get a good one on his face drenching his shirt in water. Dylan was now shivering a little.

"Well that was fun." He said wringing out his shirt.

"No, it was cold." I laughed. I tried to ignore the frost bite I was sure was setting in.

After a few minutes to drying off as best as we could we went hunting for some firewood. We found a small trail along the river and decided to follow it. I would collect the wood and he would hold it.

"So," Dylan started balancing the tree branches in his arms, "How about that Ellie." He grinned.

"What about Ellie?" I question suddenly feeling awkward at the suddenly start of conversation.

"Oh, nothing. Mom just seems to talk about you two _a lot_."

"I will tell you, just like I told her. There is nothing going on between Ellie and I." I stated. Despite the fact I wanted this conversation to end, I was a little excited to be able to talk her. It was very rare I actually had someone to talk about my feelings with and I almost felt relieved.

"But do you like her?" He questioned.

I took a piece of wood and placed it on top of the pile with such force Dylan almost dropped it.

"So you do." He laughed.

"Why do you even think that?" I questioned nervously. _Was I being obvious towards my liking for Ellie?_

"Oh, I saw the way you looked at her on New Years Eve. And those times we all would hang out during winter break." Dylan said teasingly, but I knew there was truth to it.

"Okay," I admitted, "So I have a tiny crush on her. It's nothing." It was the first time I had admitted my crush on Ellie to anyone.

"I knew it." Dylan laughed.

I rolled my eyes at his comment placing another branch on the stack.

"It doesn't matter anyways, she's straight. By like 100." I said.

"Yea, but that's what you thought about my sister until..." He didn't finish, he did have to.

"That was a weird twist of fate." I stated, "I took a leap and I got lucky."

"Maybe you can take a leap with Ellie." Dylan suggested.

I laughed, "I'm not about to try that again."

"Why not?" Dylan questioned.

I shook my head, "And jeopardize our friendship?"

"Do you think she's worth it?" Dylan asked his voice was now serious and calm.

"I don't know." I replied. My voice was unsteady.

"Was Paige worth it?" He asked, I could see he seriousness in his face.

I looked at him and smiled, "Yea."

-------

**Sorry for cutting the ending like that. I wasn't really sure where I wanted this chapter to end and I felt that was a good start in resurfacing Alex's feeling for Paige which had sort of gone away in the last few chapters. I know what I want out of Chapter 25, I'm just not sure where else I am going to go with it. I want to have them back home in the next couple chapters but I need to figure out how I'm goin to break these next two chapters up. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up in a few days. I know updates have been getting slow. I've been really busy and I will be for the next month. But don't worry I'm still going to be writing and updating they will just take a little longer. **

**And again, because I am well aware all you readers are really really really wanting Paige to come back now, don't worry. It's getting close. I've even started working it out in my head how things are going to go so I don't have a huge writers block when it comes time to write her in. But just so you have an idea, this trip is going to be the last major thing to happen to Alex before Paige. She will have to resolve a few things when she gets back first (But don't worry, I don't expect to go into huge detail with everything. So it should be short) but I'm really going to start focusing on Paige soon. Anyway, thanks for reading this chapter and thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! I have found many of them extremely helpful! **


	25. Chapter 25

**This is another very long chapter but I am sticking to my plan of finishing the camping trip in three chapteres. This chapter just reall focuses on one event but I added a few things because next chapter I will be brining them home. **

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Chapter 25

Maybe it was just because I had never been so hungry in my life and I would have eaten insects or maybe it was the fact I caught it, but that night I had the best dinner of my life. Nothing had ever tasted so good as that fish. That night Mr. Michalchuk made a spectacular fire. I had never sat around a camp fire before and listened to ghost stories or sing stupid camp fire songs. We even roasted marsh mellows. It must have been close to midnight when we all decided to go to bed. I don't know how on earth we all managed to stay up that late. I was so exhausted that I hardly noticed the difference between my bed the forest floor. I can't say that was the best sleep of my life but it was the deepest. I was awoken early the next morning by Dylan. I turned over to look at him. I was so stiff I could hardly stretch out my arms to rub my eyes.

"Alex." Dylan whispered in my ear.

"What?" I asked, I looked around the tent walls.

"Common get up." He said unzipping the tent entrance. I had expected to get a blast of sunlight but was surprised to find it was still dark outside..

"The sun isn't up yet?" I questioned suddenly unsure of what Dylan was doing.

"Not yet." He laughed.

I rested my head back down on the pillow. I was somewhat annoyed that I was awake now.

"Alex, common." He wined.

"What time is it?" I questioned.

"A little after four. We have to hurry." He said.

"For what?" I demanded rolling back over.

"Well get up and I'll show you." He laughed as he left the tent.

I rubbed my eyes and groaned. I was awake now. I sat up. _God, I was stiff._ I got up and stretched out. Dylan peeked his head back into the tent.

"Get dressed and hurry." Dylan left the tent before he saw my make a face at him. I changed into my jeans and and threw on a old white tank top and a sweater. I slid my feet into my shoes and left the tent to find Dylan waiting.

"Okay, what?" I questioned as I walked up to him.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Okay, let's go. Oh, wait. You might actually want to bring your camera." Dylan said turning to look at me.

I looked at him.

"Go get it." He laughed.

I gave him a suspicious look but turned around and went back into the tent to get my camera.

"Ok." I said as I came back out with it. It was in it's case. I slung it over my shoulder.

"This way." He said walking into the forest. I followed.

------

We must have been walking along this path for almost an hour and it only seemed to be getting steeper. I thought my legs were going to fall off.

"Were are you going?" I asked for what must have been the thousandth time.

"You'll see." Dylan answered.

"Isn't the sun suppose to come up sometime?" I asked noticing how dark it still was.

"Soon." He smiled.

I sighed. Dylan and I walked for at least another 20 minutes.

"Dylan." I wined, "This hike is killing me."

"It's worth it." He said. He made a turn behind some bushes off the path.

"Where are you going?" I questioned.

"It's up here." He said as he continued walking.

"What's up there." I questioned. Dylan didn't reply.

"I really had hoped on not dying to today." I said to myself as I followed behind him. The ground only seemed to be getting steeper. I thought I was practically mountain climbing now. I looked up to see Dylan standing at the top where the ground seemed to level. He was looking away from me outward towards whatever was out there. My legs were hurting so bad I could no longer move them.

"Dylan." I called out. He turned to look down at me. He noticed me struggling to get up there. He took a few steps, balancing himself he reached out and grabbed my hand pulling me up.

"Thanks." I said as I took my first step on level ground.

Dylan smiled at me. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"Okay, so where are we?" I asked.

He turned his head to look away from where we had just climbed, "Look." He said grabbing my arm and pulling me forward a few steps.

It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Straight ahead of me was a valley and behind that were miles and miles of mountains and forest. The sun was beginning to rise from behind the mountains and it's rays were illuminating over the mountain tops down into a valley that was below us. I looked down to see the river glistening in the sun's rays. My eyes followed the river to a small waterfall from one of the mountains. I could see deer drinking from the water. The sky was covered in small patches of cumulus clouds. The morning light made the appear a light shade of pink and yellow. It looked like painting, a very big painting. The site itself was amazing. The scene must have stretched on for miles. It was beautiful.

"My dad used to take me and Paige here when we were kids." Dylan said, "That was when Paige used to come camping with us." He chuckled.

"We used to watch the sun rise." Dylan finished never taking his eyes of the site.

"It's beautiful." I said.

"It's worth getting up at four in the morning for." He laughed.

"Yes it is." I agreed

"Glad I told you to bring your camera now?" He questioned.

I had forgotten I had it with me. I quickly pulled it out and began snapping shots of of the scenery. It was amazing. I got the whole sunrise in it's entirety and then I zoomed to get the snow covered mountain tops, the river, and the waterfall. I even got a few pictures of the deer. When I was finished I sat with Dylan and we watched the sun rise together. Even after the sun was up, it's beauty did not fade. I suddenly felt so small and meaningless compared to the awesomeness of nature. I felt I was looking at a gift and I was thankful for it. My mind felt more open then it ever had. I was finally able to think. To think about my life and who I was. I realized that everything that had happen had led me here to this one spot. I never wanted to come back down, I could sit here forever.

"This is amazing." I said not taking my eyes off it.

"I know." Dylan replied, "It really puts things in perspective. I come up here every year just to clear my mind and think."

I said nothing. But I got everything he was saying. We sat there for a few hours in complete silence. We just listened to what nature had to say. My whole life and I had never experienced anything as captivating or as grand as this. It was perfect.

-------

Dylan and I made it back to camp a little after twelve. We had talk the entire way back about random things. When we reached camp I saw Mr. Michalchuk. He was cooking something on the fire and seemed a little uneasy.

"Where have you two been?" He asked coarsely as to where we could have been.

"I took Alex to the spot." Dylan replied.

"Oh," His mood seemed to lighten, "How did you like it?" He asked me.

"Loved it." Dylan spoke for me and I laughed.

"I thought it was beautiful." I replied, "I even got some shots." I held up the camera.

"Wonderful." Mr. Michalchuk exclaimed, "I can't wait to see."

There was a silence while Dylan poked at the fire.

"Anyway, I caught some fish this morning so let's eat some lunch and we will go have some fun." Mr. Michalchuk said pulling a pan out of the fire.

-----

Lunch was good. My mind was still fresh on this morning. It really had been worth getting up early to see. We all finished lunch and Mr. Michalchuk grabbed a few bags. He handed two to Dylan and then he gave a pack to me. We walked through the forest for awhile and I was less than excited to be hiking again. My legs were still unbelievably sore from this morning. We finally made our way to an open field.

"Okay. Here we are." Mr. Michalchuk said looking around, "Dylan why don't you set it up."

"Alright." Dylan replied walking over and grabbing the bag off my shoulder and walking out to the middle of the field.

Mr. Michalchuk grabbed one of the bags Dylan had carried up. He unzipped it and pulled out one of the rifles that we had brought on the trip.

"I thought you said that was for protection." I questioned as Mr. Michalchuk inspected the rifle and attaching the scope.

"It is, but it only works if you know how to use it." He replied.

I didn't say anything. I just continued to stare at him. Mr. Michalchuk shifted his gaze to me.

"Just some target practice." Mr. Michalchuk chuckled, "It's what we boys do for fun."

"That's why I'm confused." I joked. I looked out in the field were Dylan attached some targets on the trees at the end of the field. He had also set up a few on a few logs just sitting in the ground. He was making his way back to Mr. Michalchuk and me.

"Finished." He said walking over a grabbing the other bag he brought. He removed the rifle and attached the scope. Dylan reached into the side pocket of the bag removing a box. He opened the box and pulled out two shells. He loaded the rifle and took aim at one of the targets. There was a moment of silence before a loud crack went off. There was a huge hole in the target on the tree were the bullet went through.

"Nice." Mr. Michalchuk said. Dylan handed Mr. Michalchuk the rifle.

"Alright, Alex." Mr. Michalchuk said.

"Oh no." I said waving my hand in the air, "I can't."

"Just like Paige." Dylan teased.

I gave Dylan a mean face. His comment went through me for some reason.

"Okay, show me." I said to Mr. Michalchuk.

Mr. Michalchuk smiled. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out into the field.

"Okay, Alex." He said handing me the rifle, "Now take hold of it here and here."

I followed his orders. The rifle was heavy and felt so foreign in my hands. I had never actually held a gun before and I had always related them to violence, never sport. Considering I'd had had bad experiences with guns this wasn't something I was extremely enjoying. I did however feel a sense of power.

"Okay now hold it good and tight against your shoulder. Good, just like that." Mr. Michalchuk said positioning the rifle, "Now look through the scope and find your target."

I could feel Mr. Michalchuk's arms on my shoulder keeping me steady. It was a weird feeling holding the rifle and getting ready to fire it.

"Alright." He said, "Are you ready?" He asked and I nodded.

"Okay, now gently squeezed the trigger." He said he still had his hands on my shoulders keeping me steady.

I slowly pressed on the trigger until I was suddenly shaken back a little. There was a loud crack and a hole through one of the targets on the log. I released the death grip I had on the rifle a little and looked at Mr. Michalchuk.

"Great shot, Alex!" He exclaimed and I felt proud, like I did when I caught the fish. I felt I had actually accomplished something. _Shooting a gun._ So it wasn't the exactly something most people lived to brag about. It was still something for me. I was a person who thought I would be do nothing for the rest of my life. Now I can fish and shoot. _I have skills._

"Not bad." Dylan remarked nodding his head, "At least you hit the target, unlike Paige, who hit a duck." Dylan laughed, "She wouldn't even let us eat it. We had to have a funeral for it and everything. She felt bad for a month."

"Paige was thirteen." Mr. Michalchuk stated, "and very emotional."

I laughed at the thought of Paige firing a gun. I had always thought Paige to be deadly, I had never realized how true that actually was. We spent the rest of the afternoon shooting for target practice. All in all, I had had a very good day. I hadn't been killed and I was actually enjoying this camping trip. This trip had made me feel free, freer than I had felt in my life. I went to sleep that night thinking about the sunrise, how spectacular it was, how I wanted to capture it and keep it forever. I went to sleep thinking about Paige and how wonderful her family was. I thought about how I felt when I shot the rifle letting go of myself. I thought about my life and about who I was. I feel asleep that night, just thinking.

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**I'm going to be finishing up the camping trip next chapter and then I will start building things up and getting ready to bring Paige into the story...I only anticipate maybe 3 more chapters, including the next chapter, before Paige actually enters the story. I will also be spending a lot of time working on this story this week so hopefully I'll have the next few updates soon. **


	26. Chapter 26

**I found this chapter pretty easy to write. This has been my intention since well...just read...and you'll see...but anyways a lot of this is going to be important in some way later on. So there is a reason I'm making a big deal about it. **

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Chapter 26

The rest of the camping trip went pretty smoothly. We had some light rain on the third day and it made everything very muddy. The last two days was spent doing a lot of hiking and fishing. We even did a little canoeing down the river into the valley. It didn't look like the same valley I saw the sun rise from. Though, nevertheless it was still beautiful. I must have taken a thousand pictures. I was so pleased with the scenery. Though all the sleeping on the ground was killing my back. By the fourth day I couldn't even move. I was so sore from the sleeping mixed with all the hiking. I hadn't realized I was that out of shape. I swore I would have to start jogging or something regularly when we got back home. We spent the last night sleeping outside the tents under the stars. The sky was so clear, I swore I could see galaxies. I didn't want to go home. I never wanted to leave this place. I wanted to move here, in a house of course, and watch the sunrise from the cliff every morning. We took our time packing on that Monday. We had everything packed and loaded into the van by noon and we were off home. According to Dylan it was my turn to sit in the front seat with Mr. Michalchuk. I didn't mind though. We spent the entire ride home talking about the trip and how wonderful it was.

"I am definitely looking forward to next year." Mr. Michalchuk said, "Are you?"

I hadn't even thought about next year, though I was looking forward to it, "I'm excited." I replied.

It was a long drive and we didn't get home until well into the evening. I was so tired. Mr. Michalchuk, Dylan, and I all agreed to unload the van in the morning after we all had a full eight hour sleep. I didn't have class until the afternoon the next day and neither did Dylan. He would leave back for University first thing in the morning. It felt to so good to just crash on a bad again. It was so comfy and comparing it my sleep on the forest floor, that night was the best sleep I had ever had.

------

The next two months, to my surprise, went by fairly quickly. I was surprised to find myself in early May. My classes had been going fairly well and Ellie and I were still doing okay. We pretty much hung whenever we could. We would be constantly doing homework or just talking about nothing. I had been thinking a lot lately about my conversation with Dylan and about _going for it_ with Ellie. I had been thinking about kissing her a lot lately too. I wondered what she would feel like and taste like. It had really been the first time I had actually tried to picture myself with Ellie. Kind of like the same way I would picture myself with Paige when I had been crushing on her back in high school. My feelings for Ellie still weren't anywhere near as strong as my feelings for Paige had been. I wasn't even unsure of my feelings for Paige at the moment.

I had developed all my pictures from the camping trip and was extremely pleased with all of them. I picked my ten top favorites and added them to my portfolio for my photography class. During one session Eve had slipped me a note in my portfolio to meet with her after class. I wasn't sure why and was a little antsy. After class was let out I stayed behind in my seat waiting for everyone to clear out. I was a little nervous and I wasn't sure why. Eve was at her desk looking over some papers. I sat in silence. I didn't want to interrupt her. I waited for her to notice me. She finally looked up as if she had expected me to be there all along.

"Such a shy one, Alex." She smiled, "Come and bring your portfolio."

I did as she said walking to her desk with my portfolio in hand.

"Take a seat." She said pointing to an empty chair close to her desk.

"Alex, I normally don't do this with my beginning students but I have watched your work over this semester and you really are an amazing photographer. Every semester I usually select a few students from my advanced class to come and intern for me at my studio. We do a lot of photo shoots and such, be we also do landscape as well."

I was hanging on to every word she was saying. I was slowly beginning to see where she was going with this.

"And your work is honestly phenomenal. I was looking through these photos of the sun rise over the mountains and the deer. Alex, these are just really amazing."

I could see she was at a loss for words and it completely flattered me. I didn't even know what to think. My work had actually made Eve speechless.

"Alex, what I'm trying to say," She finally decided to get to the point, "I'm offering you a chance to be an intern. Do you want it?" She said bluntly.

I was speechless. My mind raced with thoughts but they moved so fast I couldn't understand any of them.

"Yes." I finally said. It was blunt and my voice was full of disbelief. "Yes, I want to." I said again nodding my head eagerly. I felt like a child but a very happy one.

I could see the smile on her face widen, "Wonderful."

I returned the smile. I was so excited to be offered this, no one had every offered me anything before.

"So, it will basically be like a class next semester. Plus you get units for it." She said running over the process.

"Great." I said, I was trying not to sound like a bumbling excited idiot. But that's how I felt. Eve was still looking through my portfolio.

"You know Alex, you really have some talent my friend." She said, "These pictures are wonderful. I was showing them to my girlfriend last night and she just loved them."

"Your girlfriend?" I said suddenly. Eve's face went blank. I could she was quickly trying to gage the situation.

"Alex, I'm a lesbian." She seemed to be admitting it as if I had caught her. Eve's voice sounded concerned as if I might scold her, "Is that a problem?" She asked

"No." I said looking at my feet, "So am I." My voice was suddenly cocky. I usually didn't have to admit to being gay, most people just kind figured it out when I started dating Paige.

Eve gave off a smile of disbelief. "Really?" She questioned. She seemed extremely intrigued and I suddenly felt as if I would have to explain myself.

"Boys suck." I joked and she sighed.

"Confused?" She asked eyeing me closely now.

"I'm sure." I tried to smile back. Eve nodded.

"I hadn't expected that." She said folding her arms across her chest and leaning back in her chair, "Well Alex, if you ever have any questions or need someone to talk to who will understand. I'm here for you."

"I like this girl." I suddenly spat out. I didn't know why. I just needed to talk to someone who didn't already have an inside perspective in this situation. Eve seemed to be listening to me intensely. I continued.

"But she's completely straight." Eve sighed at my remark like she had been there before. "Were like best friends but lately my feelings for her are..." I was looking for the word, "Intensifying." The only word I could think of that could remotely describe how I felt. Eve looked like she was about to say something, but I decided I hadn't finished yet.

"But there is this other girl...that I have feelings for. I've liked her for a long time now. I can't seem to get over her." I finished.

Eve gave off a small laugh, "I like your word choice. You like one girl but you have feelings for the other." I couldn't help but chuckle at her observation.

"Is this other girl...?" She didn't have to finish the sentence.

"She's my ex." I answered.

"So you were in a relationship with her."

"Yes." I replied.

"Are you two still friends?"

"I dunno." I said. Eve looked confused.

"She's away at University and I'm living with her parents right now." Eve's facial expression didn't change, "Long story." I said.

Eve seemed to accept this answer.

"Okay, and this other girl?" She asked gesturing her hand for me to continue.

"I dunno. I just like her. Like, like her like her. But I know we will never actually be..." I didn't finish. I couldn't, "But that doesn't bother me. I just...I guess...I'm not exactly sure of my feelings for her or the other girl."

"Well, understanding your feelings are hard. I think deep down we are never really know exactly how we feel. I think we spend to much time labeling out feelings and ourselves. My advice to you is, don't try to understand your feelings, let your feelings lead you. I promise, they will lead you in the right direction."

I smiled at her. Eve really was wonderful.

"You know Alex," She said with a huge smile on her face, "If only I were fifteen years younger, not your teacher, and single." She laughed. I knew she was kidding and I couldn't help but laughed too.

"Thanks for the advice." I replied, I had really meant it. I got up to leave when Eve spoke.

"So, this girl you have feelings for?" I turned to look at her, "What kind of girl is she?" I could see Eve was very interested in what my type was and I found it amusing.

"Oh, you know, the usual, the blonde head cheerleader, most popular girl in school type." I said rolling my eyes playfully.

"Seriously?" She demanded.

My eyes opened wide and my voice got stern, "Seriously."

----------

**Okay, so this chapter wasn't hugely important...but important nevertheless...anyways..I'm getting extremely close to brining Paige back now. The next chapter or two will be a build up for her...I just haven't decided how I'm going to break the next few things down...but she should be making her way into the story in no less than 3 chapters.**


	27. Chapter 27

**This chapter is a long one. There were a few things I wanted to clear up so I decided to throw them in this chapter. I didn't spend to much time with certain things and I did leave some things open. I might come back them later. I might not. I had also spent a lot of time thinking about how was I going to write this and there were a few different ideas in my head. Ultimately, as you will read, I decided on this one. **

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Chapter 27

The past few days I had both Ellie and Paige strong on my mind. Both girls occupied my attention every waking moment and sometimes even in my dreams. I had vivid dreams of Ellie and Paige competing over my heart. Ellie would be ripping at Paige's hair screaming how she truly loved me. Paige was always holding a pink key. "Your heart is mine. I have the key." She would say jamming it into my chest. I would find myself covered in my own blood. I would wake up in a sweat grabbing at myself. I found it disturbing they were fighting over my heart in a literal sense. I kept finding myself torn between them. I found myself feeling stupid as I knew I would probably never have either of them. Nobody understood just how hard it was to be a lesbian, always wanting the straight girl. Finals for my classes were quickly approached and all my time spent with Ellie was restricted to straight studying. When I wasn't studying I was working. It was one of the first times ever I actually didn't mind going to work. I hated my job at the theater. I the only plus at that job was working with Paige. I completely despised my job at the mall. Long hours, bad pay, evil boss. This job was a lot more laid back. I still had things I had to do but it was just less stressful in all. Stock items on selves and ring customers up.

I had just finished checking a customer out and was beginning ring up a few soda bottles and potato chips when I heard that voice.

"Well hello there, Lexi." I looked up to see non other than Jay. I wasn't upset to find him staring at me. I wasn't even bothered. I was embarrassed. That night at the Ravine I had acted like such an idiot. I was so drunk and stupid. I had made a complete fool of myself. I looked at him to embarrassed to speak.

"Come on, Lexi." He sighed. He must have figured I was mad at him.

"Jay don't talk to me." I said blunting taking the money he was handing me for the items.

"Lex. Don't be like that." He replied. I didn't speak. I started counting his change.

"I talked to Liz." He said suddenly.

"Liz who?" I replied wondering where he was going with this.

He continued speaking as if I had never asked the questioned, "She kept going on about some drunk mistaking her for some chick named Paige."

I instantly looked up. Jay looked proud he had gotten a reaction from me. I was searching for something to say but I felt so s stupid.

"Alex, don't tell me you still got the hots for her." He said laughing.

"I don't." I lied, "Now take your shit and leave." I said thrusting his food at him.

He glanced at me for a moment. "I'm sorry." He said. He actually sounded like he meant it, "I know I've said it before. I'm not looking for trouble."

"Then what are you looking for?" I shot back.

"Lex, can't we just be friends?" He seemed a little taken a back by my sudden rush of anger.

"Jay..." I began but was cut off.

"Look. Lex, we have our differences. But we also have our similarities." He said.

"Such as?" I questioned not really wanting to compare myself to him.

I could see him thinking for a moment, "First we come from the same world. Not that glitz and glamour shit. Those rich people." He argued.

I sighed but Jay just kept on.

"I like girls, you like girls. Were practically the same you and I." He smiled. I could see he was proud of his last comment. I would have bet anything he had been itching to say that for months.

I rolled my eyes. Jay always did have this boyish cuteness about him.

"Jay." I chuckled. He knew my mood had lightened.

"We can just hang. No parties, no drinking..._especially you._..just us as friends. No trouble." He smiled.

I knew he was just lonely as I had been.

"Just hanging." I repeated eyeing Jay suspiciously

"Just hanging. Friends. You and me. Promise." He replied.

I nodded my heading smiling, "Maybe we'll hang sometime."

Jay nodded, "Right. Sometime." He smiled as he turned around and left without another word.

-------

"Alex, pass the salad please." Mrs. Michalchuk asked me from across the table.

I finished taking a bite of my pork chop before picking up the salad and handing it to her.

"Thanks dear." She replied, "Oh, how wonderful it will be to have the whole family at the dinner table again."

"Counting down the days sweetpee." Mr. Michalchuk replied grinning. I didn't comment, I wasn't sure exactly what they were talking about so I just listened taking small bites of pork chop.

"We are really going to have to work out the sleeping arrangements now." Mrs. Michalchuk said putting some salad on her plate.

"Sweetie don't you think it's time Dylan find a place of his own. He is graduating this year." Mr. Michalchuk replied.

"I am not just going to kick him out." Mrs. Michalchuk said shaking her head. Mr. Michalchuk rolled his eyes.

"Well, then we will figure something out. We will get Dylan a bed. Or he can bunk with Alex or Paige."

My heart stopped at the last word Mr. Michalchuk had said. I tried to hide the sudden shock that must have obviously been plastered across my face. I had been so wrapped up with my own life I had completely forgotten that she too lived here. I had forgotten she wouldn't be at college year round and that she would be coming home for the summer.

"Well, we still have a week to figure it out." Mr. Michalchuk said.

"Oh, that reminds me. I talked to Paige this morning. She said she should be home some time early Saturday." Mrs. Michalchuk said taking a sip of milk.

Paige would be returning on Saturday? That was less than a week away. I suddenly felt those butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't felt them in so long. I was both nervous and excited. _What was going to happen?_ I hoped so desperately that our summer wouldn't be awkward. I hoped that we wouldn't spend three months avoiding each other.

------

The butterflies in my stomach lingered on for the rest of the week. Though Paige would be finished with her first year of college this week I still had another week to go. Ellie and I were studying like crazy together for finals. With every passing hour I would feel more antsy knowing Paige was getting closer and closer. It was almost to much for me to deal with. I constantly felt like I had to be moving, I was lucky if I could sit still for fifteen minutes. Even Ellie noticed my sudden nervousness.

"Alex, are you okay?" She asked looking up from her math notes. It was Friday and Paige was due back the next day. My anticipation had reached it's breaking point.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied not looking up from book.

"Are you sure? Because you seem a little...on edge?" Ellie replied eyeing me now.

My brain was one huge pile of thoughts. I couldn't seem to separate one from the other now. My feelings were also just as mixed. My stomach was filled with fluttering butterflies and I couldn't help my leg from shaking. Through all the little thoughts that raced in my mind only one was clear. _Now is as good a time as ever._

"Ellie." I started looking up from my book. I was staring her in the eyes now.

"Yea." She said not breaking eye contact.

I tried desperately to figure out how I wanted to word this, "Can you do something for me?" I asked, my voice was shaky.

Ellie nervously nodded her head, "Sure."

"Okay," I said closing my math book and sitting up straight, "Close your eyes..._and_ you have to _promise_ not to freak. Okay?" I laughed a little to try to lighten the already tense move.

Ellie gave a soft laugh back, "Okay." She said nodding again. I could tell she was completely confused. Despite that, she looked at me for a moment before closing her eyes just like I had asked.

I was still for a second as I looked at her. Ellie's face was blank and peaceful. I could see she trusted me. I slowly started to move forward a little bit until I was face to face with her. I examined her features a little more closely. I had never actually been this close to her. I could feel her out breath on my face. I leaned in closer, closing my eyes I felt my lips touch hers. I was surprised when she didn't instantly pull away. Much like Paige had, she allowed me to kiss her again. Ellie didn't deepen the kiss nor did I. It was light and slow and soft. I could hear her breathing and she tasted like mint. Still though, she did not break away. My stomach was still flutter with butterflies, but not the same kind I had the first time I had kissed Paige. I almost felt a disappointment. All the time I was thinking, I suddenly noticed I was still kissing Ellie. I slowly broke away opening my eyes. She backed away a little too. Her eyes slowly opened. She looked calm and relaxed. I hadn't expected that. I didn't know what to expect from Ellie. She was doing a good job at keeping her composure.

"Okay." She said looking at the floor before meeting my gaze again.

I myself was searching my head for something decent to say. I had no clue how to word my feelings, despite the fact I was now sure of them, "I had to see something." I stated looking down.

"And?" She asked her voice was still calm and steady.

"And I like you Ellie, just..." I didn't know how to complete it and even at my pause Ellie's face stayed the same, "just not like that." I finally decided on finishing with.

Ellie looked at me. She obviously didn't know what to say. She still seemed to be searching for words.

"Okay...then..." She finally started, "That's uh...that's good to know." She said. I could only imagine how awkward she was feeling now.

"You weren't bad Ellie." I joked and she laughed.

"Well thank you." She replied jokingly too. Though I could still hear a hint of tension in her voice.

"So, are we okay?" I asked cautiously.

Ellie nodded, "Alex, your like my best friend."

Ellie would never know just how much those words had meant to me. Especially in these times when I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me. I found the bus ride home that night peaceful and calm. I was sure of my feelings for Ellie now. They were real feelings of love and friendship. I was thankful for Ellie just as I was thankful for many things. It was getting late now and despite the fact it was close to midnight by the time I got home I decided to sit outside on the back porch. I had found it a good place to think since my conversation with Mr. Michalchuk. I sat on the top step watching the tree I had taken so many pictures of. There was a small breeze. It blew through the tree's branching making them dance in the moonlight. I found it soothing. The night was clear and the stars were visible. Though the sky wasn't anything like when I had been camping, it was still amazing.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" I heard from behind me. I didn't turn my head, I didn't have to. I closed my eyes for a second. I hadn't heard that voice in so long.

"It is." I replied nodding my head. I heard the footsteps approaching me. I could feel her as she took a seat beside me. There was silence for a long time. I didn't feel the need to say anything then. Everything was to perfect to ruin it with needless conversation.

"It's weird being home again." Paige finally said. She didn't break her gaze from the night sky.

"I know the feeling." I replied, "You're home early." I said breaking my gaze from the sky and turning to look at Paige. I hadn't seen her in so long. I felt as if I where in one of my dreams and prayed it wasn't. She looked exactly the same as I had remembered her. Despite the fact she looked exhausted, she was still gorgeous beyond belief. She did look older and more mature. Something I had expected. I could see she had been through a lot during her first year at Banting.

"Yea," She began meeting my gaze, "I decided to leave right after classes got out. I just wanted to come home. I hopped the first transit here."

I nodded not sure what to say.

"And you're living here now." She said, her eyes widened a little and I could tell she was being playful.

"Yes, long story." I rolled my eyes.

"I've already heart it." She laughed. "At least most of it." She finished.

I sighed, "Nope, I guessing you know all of it."

"My mom is a talker." Paige laughed.

"Tell me about it."

Paige sighed and we went back to silence.

"So I see my room in tacked." She started.

I laughed, "Well, your father wanted to turn it into a work out room but your mother wouldn't stand for it."

Paige laughed at my comment before yawning, "Well, it's pretty late." She said.

"Yea, I'm tired myself." I agreed. I stood up and Paige soon followed. We didn't say a word as we went back inside the house. Paige's suitcases were sitting in the doorway by the coat rack. The house was dark so I had to glide my hands on the wall to feel my way around. Paige and I walked quietly up the stairs together. I was in front. It was so weird knowing she was behind me. We finally reached my room first and she stopped.

"Well." She said. Her voice was low.

"Yea." I replied back not sure how we were going to end the night.

Paige leaned in to me a little and, by recently developed habit, I did the same. We hugged and I held her tight. Her grip was strong too. I could smell her perfume and it was wonderful. I took it all in. We finally released, though are hands were still lightly placed on each other's arms.

"I'm glad you're back." I whispered. It was hard to see her face in the dark, but I was sure she smiled.

"Me too." She replied.

We exchanged quick good-nights and Paige left to her room. She was so quiet as she left me in the dark hallway that I didn't even hear her bedroom door shut behind her.

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**Okay, so finally Paige is back. I had a tough time deciding on how to end this chapter. I decided on giving everyone a little Paige time before ending it. Obviously like I have stated Paige will now be in the story as one of the main characters. I haven't yet decidied on the pace of the story now that she's back...but like I said, I think in chapter 1, I will be breaking this story up into at least two parts maybe 3...so this story itself is getting close to ending because this story is about Alex...but don't panic! My next story, which is a continuation of this story, will be about Paige and Alex. I'm I'm going to spend some time figuring out what I'm going to put in this story and what's going to be part of the next story. (Though I do know the general plot of what's going to happen.) But don't worry, there will be some more chapters of Paige and Alex in this story still. And also, I keep recent updates of my stories in my profile so check that if you want to know where I am with a story. I'm not sure when I'll have chapter 28 up...so just check my profile for chapter updates. **


	28. Chapter 28

**I'm really sorry taking so long to update! I've been really busy! Anyway, this chapter has no real purpose other than I'm just setting the mood. It's just some Alex and Paige time. And it's a pretty long chapter. **

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Chapter 28:

I next morning I found myself in the exact position I had fallen asleep in. I was sure I hadn't moved at all through out the entire night. It was also the first night I'd had in a while that I didn't remember dreaming. I felt as if I had just closed my eyes for a moment and eight hours had suddenly pasted. I glanced at the clock. It was 9:00 a.m. I laid my head back down on my pillow. I wasn't tired, but I wasn't yet ready to get up. Slowly I started to remember the events of last night. Kissing Ellie, sitting on the porch, Paige. _Paige?_ I suddenly sat upright in my bed, rubbing my head. _Did I dream last night?_ Was Paige back? I threw the bed covers over and hopped out of bed. Despite the fact it was summer, it was still cool in the house and the fact I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt didn't help. I opened the door and glanced down the hallway to Paige's room. The door was shut. I decided against knocking on it. One, for the reason that if I had been dreaming I would feel like an idiot and two, if I hadn't I had no reason to bug Paige and I would still feel like an idiot. I crept my way downstairs. I was sure Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk were up already, but I didn't hear any voices as I made my way down to the kitchen. As I approached the kitchen I could hear laughing. I instantly recognized the laugh as Paige's. My stomach knotted. I didn't know if the feeling was good or bad. I debated running back up to my room but decided not to. I could feel my heart beating as I peeked around the corner into the kitchen. The first thing I saw was Mrs. Michalchuk leaning on the counter, a cup of coffee in hand. I peaked around a little more and I saw Paige on the other end of the counter. God, was she beautiful. Her hair was falling loosely but perfectly. Her skin was fair and it brought out her rosy cheeks. She was always extremely rosy in the morning. It looked as if Paige were going to say something when Mrs. Michalchuk suddenly took notice of me. She leaned up a little and greeted me with a smile. From the corner of my eyes I could see Paige leaning in a little over the countertop to get a better look.

"Well good morning dear!" Mrs. Michalchuk greeted me.

"Morning." I said trying to pretend as if I hadn't seen Paige yet. But I knew she watching every move I made.

"Sleep well?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yea." I said. I rubbed my head trying to avoid Paige's gaze. I acted as if I wasn't fully awake yet.

"Oh," Mrs. Michalchuk put down her cup of coffee, "Look who came back to us in the dead of night!" She exclaimed.

I couldn't avoid Paige's glance any longer. I looked up to see her staring at me. Her face was relaxed and emotionless.

"Yea, she was up when I came in last night." Paige broke in, seeing the silence was about to turn awkward.

"Oh," Mrs. Michalchuk replied. She almost seemed disappointed that she wasn't the first person to greet Paige.

"Well then," She continued, "What can I get you for breakfast, sweetie?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked.

"Anything's fine, really." I said taking a seat on the counter a stool away from Paige.

"Alex, I was telling Paige about our little camping trip earlier." Mr. Michalchuk said from behind his newspaper. I hadn't even noticed him in the room until he spoke. He was sitting at the table with his daily paper and a cup of coffee.

I glanced at him and then back at Paige who was grinning.

"Yes he did." She smiled turning to her father and then back at me, "It sounds like you had an interesting time."

I couldn't help but chuckle thinking of the trip, "Yea. It was fun." I said, my throat was dry.

"Yes it was, despite all the complaining Dylan and I had to listen too." Mr. Michalchuk joked.

"Asking 'are we there yet' does not count as complaining." I corrected.

Mr. Michalchuk rolled his eyes.

"Those were some long hikes. And you both always seemed to fail to mention where we were going." I continued.

Mr. Michalchuk chuckled, "Ah, memories." He sighed before returning to his newspaper.

I shook my head and turned back to see Paige staring at me. Her expression was priceless. She was grinning but her face registered disbelief. I hadn't even realized that why Paige was away things had changed. She hadn't watched as I bonded with her parents. This was in fact, the first the time seeing how close I was with them. My actions towards them had obviously taken her by surprise. Though, despite her shock or disbelief, she seemed genuinely happy I was getting along well and I was glad for that. I don't think she had anticipated this open of interaction between us.

"Here you go dear." Mrs. Michalchuk said placing a plate of scrambled eggs and waffles down in front of me.

"Thank you." I replied cheerily as I grabbed my fork and dug in.

Mrs. Michalchuk took the empty plate that was in front of Paige and placed it in the sink, "Now, I have one of my children back. Just one more."

"I can't believe Dylan is finally graduating." Paige said gesturing insanely with her hands. I had ever noticed just how much she act like her mother. It was almost creepy.

"Oh, I know." Mrs. Michalchuk replied proudly leaning against the counter with on hand on her hip.

"What day is he graduating again, sweetpee?" Mr. Michalchuk broke in from behind the newspaper.

"Saturday." Mrs. Michalchuk replied blankly, obviously upset Mr. Michalchuk had forgotten.

I glanced at Paige who had caught on to her mom's passive anger too and we both exhaled a giggle. It was so good to see her again.

------

Later on the afternoon I sat in my room while Mrs. Michalchuk took Paige out to lunch. I had been invited to go, but felt it was better for them to catch up privately. I wasn't sure how much Paige really wanted to see me and how comfortable she felt being around me again. We had spent the rest of the morning in small irrelevant chit-chat which I didn't mind. It was better than not talking at all. Though we were both going out of our ways to not be alone together. That was when I got the brilliant idea of hiding in my room for the rest of the day. Paige had no reason to be there. I had taken the weekend off work to study so I figured that's what I should be doing. Despite the face I already knew I had an A in photography, I decided to reorganize my portfolio. I felt it was all wrong. By late afternoon I was finishing up when I heard a knock on the door. I had been so wrapped up my portfolio I didn't even think twice when I responded.

"Come in." I said without turning my head.

I heard the door knob turn and the door pushed open so quietly and gently.

"Hey." Paige said.

I quickly turned around to look at her. No one had ever been able to command my attention like she could.

"Paige, hi. How was lunch?" I replied. She let of a little sigh, my shock must of been obvious. She took a deep breath and exhaled looking around the room.

"It was good. You should have come." She replied.

"Naa," I said trying to act like I wasn't regretting my decision to stay at home, "I had some things to do anyway."

Paige nodded. She glanced at me for a second before returning her gaze back on my room.

"So this is were you have been living all year." She said smiling. She took a few more steps inward to get a better look at everything.

"Yea." I replied. It was so great talking to her. My heart was racing.

She was strolling around now inspecting every little thing, "You haven't done much."

"No, Dylan prefers I don't touch anything." I laughed.

Paige crinkled her face, "You listen to Dylan?"

"No." I said suddenly, "Well, I mean, I just figured...since technically this isn't my room." I replied trying to sound cool.

Paige nodded and laughed. "Sure." There was a small silence but Paige quickly filled it.

"So, I see your getting along well with my parents." She smiled. She still seemed a little shocked by it.

"Yea, they've been really great." I replied choosing my words carefully.

"Yea," She said clasping her hands together, "Your uh, practically part of the family now." She nodded as she spook.

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I remained silent. Paige also seemed to be deciding if she wanted to continue speaking.

"You know, Dylan actually refers to you as his _sister_ now?" She said. She spoke carefully.

"Really?" I questioned. I really hadn't known that.

"Yea, he says it's easier than trying to explain that _situation._" She said, Paige's tone was gossipy and playful. So I assumed she wasn't bothered by it.

"Well, it is a bit complicated." I laughed.

Paige smiled and focused her attention back on the room. The only thing I had done with the room was hang some of my best pictures up. It was only now I realized how many I actually had.

"So..." Paige began scanning my pictures on the wall and dresser. She was trying to find the word, "Photography?"

"Yea." I said, The way Paige has said it suddenly made me feel like my hobby was bad.

Paige continued to survey the pictures. She stopped at the one I took on the camping trip. It was the view I got up a four in the morning and hiked for over an hour to see. The one Dylan taken me to

"These are really great, Alex." She started, her tone had changed. She seemed to me reminiscing about something with the picture. "I recognize this." She said taking a step closer.

"Yea, Dylan took me there." I replied getting up from my chair and sitting down on my bed.

Paige looked up for a second smiling.

"What?" I replied, I could help but chuckle a little.

"I'm just trying to imagine you camping. Your not exactly what I would call an outdoors girl." Paige said.

"Hey, I _was_ a girl scout." I laughed.

"Seriously?" Paige responded. She actually seemed shocked at my answer.

"Well, w_as_ being the operative word."

Paige gave me a hard stair and I took it as a sign to explain.

"My mom dropped me off drunk the first day. She got into fight with our group leader and my mom smacked her across the head," I paused, "With Heather Sinclair's new terrier poodle puppy, that she had brought to the group meeting."

Paige put her hands across her mouth to hide her sudden burst of laughter and shock.

"Our group lead Mrs. Beckman, only needed two stitches in her check. But I wasn't allowed to go back after that." I said trying to contain my laughter too.

"Oh, you poor thing." Paige said trying so hard to stop laughing.

"Don't feel bad, Heather Sinclair quit too and I think my mom traumatized her...and her poodle." I laughed trying to focus the attention off me.

I could see Paige searching her mind for something to say. When she could think of nothing she returned her gaze back to the pictures. Though she was still chuckling under her breathe.

"These are really good." Paige complimented as she examined them one by one, "These are all for your class?"

"Some." I responded, "Some were for pleasure." I smiled.

Paige rolled her eyes and gave off a small sigh, "Well, I'm glad to see you've been keeping busy."

I smiled, "Always."

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**Like I said this chapter wasn't really important. I just decided to give everyone some nice Paige time since I know everyone has been waiting for it. Now, I just want to let you all know, that just because Paige is back doesn't mean the story is automatically going into her. Though, I am moving the story into Palex so don't worry, Paige is back full time now and she will be in it a lot. And there will be drama and there will be other things. **


	29. Chapter 29

**Okay, first off. I'm really sorrry it took me so long to update! I've been really busy. Second, I am extremely tired right now! But I wanted to get this chapter up because I will not be able to write for a few days and I wanted to give you guys and update. I had orginally planed on making this one chapter, but it became to long, so now I have to split it into two. So this is the first part. I'm sorry if are errors or typos in there. Also, I think I actually made up a few words...so sorry about that. I proof-read it, but I'm seriously falling asleep right now and if I don't get this up tonight, it won't up until the end of the week. So i'm hoping you guys wont mind a few erros because I'm to tried to go over it again. Anyways, I hope to be back to writing this story in full force by the end of the week. (and btw..i'm sorry if there are typs in my notes..again with the i'm extremely tired thing.)**

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Chapter 29

The next week went by very smoothly, though Paige and I did talk, we still kept distant from each other. We never went out of our way to be in the same room together if we could avoid it. Though, when Paige and I were forced to interact we did so very well. We wouldn't have any awkward moments. We would talk playfully like we used to back in high school. I felt so relaxed when I was with Paige. Though we avoided any kind of deep personal conversation that would cause either of us to bring up emotions or feelings, I was still thankful for the time I was able to spend with Paige. I tried my hardest to keep my actions, gestures, and gazes strictly friendly and nothing more. I didn't want to make Paige feel uncomfortable and jeopardize what ever time I go to spend her. Dylan's graduation was going to take place on Saturday and it was all Mrs. Michalchuk talked about.

"Oh, our baby is graduating from College. I'm so proud of him." She went on the eve before Dylan's graduation at the dinner table.

"Mom," Paige said resting her elbows on the dinner table and folding her hands, "I don't think Dylan appreciates the baby treatment any more."

"Oh, you know he just loves it when you run up and pinch his cheeks in public." I joked taking a bite of roast beef.

"Oh Lexi, your just jealous because mom doesn't pinch your cheeks in public." Paige joked back.

"Yet." Mr. Michalchuk coughed, poring some more juice in his glass.

I couldn't help but blush at Paige saying my name. I loved it when she called me Lexi. She did so only on personal occasions. I rolled my eyes trying to hide my hopefully not obvious blushing.

Mrs. Michalchuk didn't seem to appreciate the humor, which only caused all three of use to chuckle to ourselves keeping our eyes focused on our plates.

"Well, it's going to be a long day tomorrow. After graduation we are going to have to help Dylan move out of his dorm."

No one raised their heads. Not one of us were excited about helping Dylan move out. That required a lot of work and I was still suffering from the lasting side effects of cleaning out the garage. Mrs. Michalchuk pretended not to notice our complete silence.

"And I still need to book a space for the photographer." She continued.

"Photographer?" Mr. Michalchuck questioned.

"Yes." Mrs. Michalchuk replied, "For the memories." She answered him as if he were a small child.

Mr. Michalchuk rolled his eyes exactly as Paige. I would never have guessed Paige had gotten the trait from her father.

"Yes dear, I know that. But have you forgotten we have our own personal photographer right here." He started explained.

I didn't look up from my plate. I had never realized how interesting broccoli was until now.

"Oh, yes. I forgot." Mrs. Michalchuk said sounding a little to over enthused.

I glanced at Paige who let off a small sigh and a chuckle. She obviously knew what was going on. It only took me another second before I also caught on to their little skit.

"Did you want me to be the photographer at Dylan's graduation?" I asked rolling my eyes slightly to acknowledge that I too had caught on.

"Well, if you insist." Mr. Michalchuk stated making an over exaggerated gesture. I heard Paige try to hold back a small giggle.

"And of course you would be compensated." Mrs. Michalchuk replied eagerly.

"Oh, please." I joked back, "Don't be ridiculous."

"Well..." Mrs. Michalchuk started as if she was trying to think of a response. There was a moment of silence before I broke in.

"Besides, that's way you can't blame me if I screw it up." I teased.

Paige's laughter broke through first. She first attempted to hid her chuckle but at the crack of Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk, she couldn't help it. Mr. Michalchuk shook his head still grinning.

"Alex, where did we get you from?" He joked

"The mall." I replied upbeatly

Paige rolled her eyes, "Mom, I do hope you didn't pay to much for her." Paige joked.

"Nope, I was a free gift with purchase." I said trying to sound preppy and cute. I obviously succeeded because Paige gave me one of her facial expressions that she used when she thought I was being cute. The rest of the table chuckled.

----

After dinner Mrs. Michalchuk decided everyone should have a strict bedtime of 10 p.m that evening. She went on about how she wanted everyone up bright and early tomorrow. I didn't really have a problem with set bedtime since I didn't really have anything to do anyway. Before settling in for the night I took out my camera and made sure I had enough film. I wanted to be as professional as possible. After I felt satisfied I had everything ready, I settled into bed and closed my eyes. My eyes didn't open again until I heard a knock on my door. My eyes instantly opened. I was lying in my stomach looking at my clocks. It was 5:02 a.m.

I let out a small grunt as I heard someone knocking again. I closed my eyes and stretched out a little trying to get the energy to turn over onto my back. I heard the door knob turn and listened as the door slowly became ajar. I didn't open my eyes, but I could tell someone was now in my room.

"Alex." I hard Paige's voice whisper. I brought my palm up to my eye. I rubbed it until I could open my eyes to see Paige standing in my doorway, one hand still on the door knob.

"Yea..." I groaned sounding tired but not upset.

"My mom sent me to get you up." She was still whispering.

"Okay." Was the only thing I could think to say. I couldn't help my eyes closing again. How could Paige be so wide awake at this hour?

"Oh common, sleepy-head." Paige joked entering into my room completely.

Suddenly I felt the blankets fly off me and Paige's hands wrap around mine. My heart instantly sank.

"Alright now, get up." Paige said pulling me up to a sitting position, "We have to get going. Mom is going to freak if were late."

"Right, right." I replied yawning, "Can't let that happen."

Paige rolled her eyes. Paige knew I was extremely grumpy and sarcastic when I was tired and she never had a problem shrugging it off.

"She has breakfast ready." When I didn't reply Paige harshend her voice, "Now."

It was the kind of tone that even the most unruly person couldn't help but obey. I instantly swung my legs over to one side and got up.

"That's better." I heard Paige, her arms were folded across her chest.

I rolled my eyes and Paige must have taken that as acknowledgement that she had completed her mission here and it was time for her to leave.

"Well then," She started to getting a little shifty, "I'll see you downstairs then."

I was only able to nod at her last comment before she left my room.

"See ya down stairs." I mumbled to myself as the door shut behind her.

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Mrs. Michalchuk made sure we hurried our way through breakfast. She wanted everyone fed and the kitchen cleaned up before we all got ready to go. I had finished getting dressed in what I thought was a nice pair of black slacks and a form fitting white blouse. I had been making my way to the bathroom when Paige's voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Uh, your not wearing that, hun." She said her arms were folding and she was examining me up and down as if I were a stray dog who no one thought was cute enough to take inside.

I also quickly looked down to examine my clothing choice, "What's wrong with it?" I asked.

Paige's eyes opened wide to suggest she was thinking: _What isn't wrong with it?_ But she didn't say it. Instead she said:

"Ummm..." She started, "Well...nothing is _wrong_ persay...it's just...uhh..." I could see Paige couldn't exactly find the word, or she had it but didn't want to say it.

I looked at my outfit again and then glanced back at Paige cocking my eyebrow to suggest if she had any better ideas she had better speak up. Paige looked as if she was trying to contain a smile, but at my facial expression, shook her head out of it.

"Right," She said, "Ummm...Come with me." She said raising her hands gesturing and turning around to go into her room.

I followed behind her. Paige was already in her closet by the time I entered her room.

"Paige?" I asked.

"Hmmmm." I heard her say. I could tell she was browsing through the closet. I could hear the sound of hangers moving and Paige was letting out little sighs every now and then. I glanced over into her closet to see her searching. She would pull out an article of clothing, look at it real hard, shake her head, then discard it. I couldn't help but chuckle. I knew Paige was trying to imagine what I would look like in all the articles of clothing she was picking out. Despite the fact that the biggest perk of our relationship when we were dating should have been sharing cloths. It wasn't. Paige and I hardly matched in styles and only on rare occasions would I wear something of hers or she wear something of mine. When Paige and I had been dating, sometimes she would beg me to put on something cute. Just to see how adorable I would look in it. It usually took a good half-hour of begging before I gave in...depending on the article of clothing of course.

"Paige." I said trying to get her attention.

She ignored me.

"Paige." I said again more forcefully.

Still she ignored me. I rolled my eyes and folded my arms getting ready to say her name again.

"Uh ha!" Paige exclaimed pulling out a black dress. She held it up to my body. The dress feel down to the my knees. It was a simple and not to elegant and though I would never admit this to Paige, I actually kind of liked it.

I tried to pass my facial expression to suggest I was considering it.

"Well?" Paige asked, "It's nice, not to dressy up, oh and black, _so_ your color." Paige was trying to convince me while preparing for a tantrum of arguments from me. I took the hanger the dress was on and held it against myself. I could see Paige beginning to form a grin. She wouldn't say anything, but she knew I had already given in. I rolled my eyes mimicking the same grin.

"Fine." I said blushing a little at the thought that Paige was obviously getting a kick out of dressing me up. I turned around taking the dress with me and moped out of her room and into mine.

I had to admit the dress looked pretty nice on me and my thoughts were more than reassured when I saw Paige's face. She quickly glanced me up and down before letting out a big smile.

"Well, look at you." She said nodding in approval.

I couldn't help but smile back. It always felt good getting a compliment from Paige..._always_.

"See," She went on, a huge smile now plastered across her face, "I knew this would work! And a perfect fit!" Her sudden excitement started to fad off, "Though, I am a little bothered your fitting perfectly into a dress I used to wear when I was 13. But anywho!" She cut the rambling off short, "You look good." She finally said. Her voice was sincere.

I couldn't help but smile. Though I agreed with her, I still felt a little awkward.

"Thanks." I finally said.

"Alex! Paige!" I heard Mrs. Michalchuk's voice calling us from downstairs, "Let's go!"

Paige rolled her eyes and glanced over at me. I returned the gesture. Paige shrugged and headed downstairs. I followed in her wake.

--------------

**I hope you liked it. I'm sorry, but I wont be able to start writing the next chapter for a few days. But I do hope to get it up before the weekend if I can. Though I'm not going to make an promises. Also, I'm hoping to get into some good palex fun and drama withing the next 2 or 3 chapteres. So stay tuned! (Again with all the tiredness...) **


	30. Chapter 30

**Orginally, this chapter was suppose to be part of Chapter 29, but it was to long. Even this chapter is longer than I expected. I decided to keep this chapter very light toned and humorous. **

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Chapter 30

I was surprised to see Marco standing by the front door as I came downstairs. I had forgotten for a second he would be coming to Dylan's graduation too. Paige quickly embraced Marco in a tight hug.

"Hey!" Marco exclaimed as Paige wrapped her arms around him squeezing him tight.

"Well, your looking all spiff for Dylan's graduation." Paige complimented taking a quick look at him, "I like the tie."

Marco glanced down at his yellow tie with black polka dots, "Thanks," He said awkwardly, "Dylan gave it to me for my birthday."

"Hey." I broke in as I made my final decent on the last stair.

"Alex." Marco smiled stretching out his arm to welcome me into a hug. I graciously excepted his invitation and met him in an embrace.

"Hey Marco." I said warmly. It was always nice seeing him again. We broke apart and he took a quick scan of me from head to toe.

"Wow." He said grinning, "I know this is an important day, but I didn't expect you to go all out for it."

I rolled my eyes, "It's all Paige's fault."

Marco raised an eyebrow to Paige and Paige rolled her eyes in return.

"Well, you should have seen what she was going to wear. I had to intervene." Paige said folding her arms.

There was a moment of silence as we all struggled for something to say when Mrs. Michalchuk entered.

"Alright, are we all ready to go?" She said looking around at us all.

Paige, Marco, and I all nodded checking ourselves out of habit to make sure we had everything. We all simultaneously agreed we were ready to go. I double checked to make sure I had all my camera equipment.

Mrs. Michalchuk looked like she was almost ready to let out a smile when she seemed to notice something.

"Bill?" She asked looking around. There was no answer. "Bill?" She questioned again more forcefully. Still no answer. "Bill!" She had risen her voice to a yell now. Finally Mr. Michalchuk came running down the stairs he was trying to tie his neck tie as he raced to the bottom.

"Coming, Maggie." He said.

"What on God's green Earth?" Mrs. Michalchuk questioned, "Look at the time!" She said pointing to her wrist watch.

"I told you wanted to leave early! The seats are first come first serve and I want to make sure I get a good view!" Mrs. Michalchuk complained throwing her hands in the air.

"Sorry, Maggie." Mr. Michalchuk replied adjusting his tie in the mirror.

Paige, Marco, and I all remained silent.

"Can we get a move on now?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked.

"Yep, all ready." Mr. Michalchuk said grabbing his coat.

Mrs. Michalchuk let off a little frustrated smile then turned to face Paige and me.

"Alright dears." She said handing Paige a bag, "Here are some cloths for after the ceremony."

"After?" Paige questioned.

"Well, I don't think you want to help Dylan move out in that." She said looking at Paige who was dressed up in a nice white long skirt and a formal top.

Paige smiled as she took the bag. "Thanks, mom."

Mrs. Michalchuk glanced at me, "Why, Alex. Don't you look wonderful!" She exclaimed.

"Thanks." I smiled.

Mrs. Michalchuk took a step forward reached out her hand and grabbed my cheek. "All adorable and so grown up." She said pinching my cheek.

I let off a small sigh thinking back to the conversation at dinner last night. I looked over at Paige who had her hand up to her mouth trying to hide her laughter. Marco was also looking in the the other direction trying to act as if he didn't notice anything.

"Sorry, dear. I couldn't resist." Mrs. Michalchuk chuckled letting go of my cheek.

My face much have turned at least five shades of red. I brought my hand up to my face to hide it's brightly red color. I looked over at Marco who was still facing the other direction. He glanced over at me and chuckled at little.

"Yes...you do look so adorable." Marco joked his laughing getting a bit louder.

"Shut up." I said pushing him back. Paige finally let her laughter out.

"That was..._cute._" She chuckled. I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to admit it, but I actually enjoyed that Paige got a laugh of it.

"Alright! Look at the time! Let's go!" Mrs. Michalchuk yelled as she was racing through the house double checking everything, "Everyone, into the van!"

Nobody wasted a second before we all piled into the van and we were on our way.

-----

The car ride there was pretty much silent. Mr. Michalchuk drove and Mrs. Michalchuk sat in the front seat. Paige and I sat in the second row of seats, while Marco sat in the back row. The ride itself was very peaceful. Everybody just kind of stayed quiet and enjoyed the ride. It wasn't until we had almost reached Dylan's University did Mrs. Michalchuk start yelling again.

"No, Bill! You can't go that way!" She would yell at him, "Look at all this traffic!" She exclaimed throwing her arms up in the air.

I could not recall ever seeing Mrs. Michalchuk this angry and impatient.

"That way! Turn that way!" She demanded.

"I can't go that way, sweetie." Mr. Michalchuk replied staying surprisingly calm.

"Oh, we are never going to find parking." Mrs. Michalchuk said more to herself than to anyone else.

"We will, honey." Mr. Michalchuk replied glancing arround at all the direction signs posted on the roads.

"We are going to be late." Mrs. Michalchuk complained.

"We are not going to be late. We have plenty of time." Mr. Michalchuk replied not taking his eyes off the road.

Mrs. Michalchuk remained silent to his reply. She was looking out the window in despair. I glanced over at Paige who's facial expression suggested this was normal Michalchuk behavior during important events because Paige acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

After about fifteen minutes of driving in circles and almost crashing about three times we finally managed to find parking. Mrs. Michalchuk quickly hurried us out of the van and made us practically run to the stadium the ceremony was taking place in. Now normally such a fast pace of walking wouldn't have bothered me, but today I was actually wearing high heels and my feet had started killing me a half a block in. We finally reached the entrance of the stadium and I was more than happy for us all to finally find our seats. Paige and Marco were on both sides of me while Mr. and Mrs. Michalchuk were on my far right. The sun was already beginning beaming down on my face making me start to sweat and I couldn't help but wonder why the University was having an outdoor ceremony. Below all the graduates were visible in their black caps and gowns but they were to far away and I was unable to spot Dylan.

I leaned back a little bit placing my both arms on the arm rests and closing my eyes for a second. I suddenly felt a hand over mine and I open my eyes to see Paige pulling her arm away. She had subconsciously put her arm on the arm rest.

"Oh, sorry." She smiled.

"No." I said removing my arm completely. "Take it." I smiled.

"Oh no, that's okay." Paige replied blushing a little bit.

"No, really." I said folding my arms to show I had no intention of the using the arm rest anyway.

Paige grinned a little bit before placing her arm on the arm rest again. She glanced at me quickly and then looked down at the graduates. I pretended not to notice.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the ceremony finally began. The ceremony started by the university band playing the national anthem and then the graduation song while the graduates took their seats. They walked in single file and in line, filed into their seats. I had to endure what seemed like hours of speeches from the Dean, teachers, and guest speakers which was only intensified by the pounding heat of the sun. Finally they began to read off the names. One by one each student went up, received their diploma, and shook hands with the Dean and a few other people I wasn't quite sure who they were. Finally, Dylan's name was called. I was startled as Mrs. Michalchuk stood up applauding and screaming Dylan's name.

"Dylan!" She yelled waving. Dylan rose from his chair and walked up the steps of the stage. I could also hear the voices of Marco, Paige, and Mr. Michalchuk as Dylan received his diploma. I also let out a hoot for him.

"That's my boy!" Mrs. Michalchuk called out again.

As Dylan shook hands with the Dean they paused as a snapshot was taken of them then Dylan walked back around and took his seat. The applauding had only started to die down when another name was called and the roaring began again. There must have been another good 30 minutes of names to endure before they finally reached the closing speech, and with that all the graduates threw their hats up in the air and stadium roared and cheered again. People quickly started getting up from their seats and started heading down to the field to greet their newly graduated family and friends. Before I was even able to stand up, Mrs. Michalchuk was racing down to the field. I looked at Paige, who shrugged at me and followed behind her mother. I started to walk down the steps but found it extremely difficult in heels. I tripped on more than one occasion. Marco had to help me all the way down. Every time I looked forward I saw Paige practically gliding down the steps without a single problem. Marco and I were the last to reach the bottom of the stairs and Mrs. and Mr. Michalchuk and Paige were already over greeting Dylan by the time Marco and I arrived. Marco seemed to have forgotten about helping me as he let me go practically causing me to fall over as he ran up and greeted his boyfriend with a big hug and kiss.

"Hey, congrats!" Marco exclaimed, "I'm so proud of you." Marco said caressing Dylan's cheek.

"Thanks, mom." Dylan replied grinning.

Marco rolled his eyes, "Okay, that was cheesy."

"Just a little." Dylan joked.

"But you know what I mean." Marco replied giving him a playful hit on the shoulder.

"I know." Dylan laughed leaning in to give his boyfriend another kiss.

"Okay, outta the way. My turn." I said pushing past Marco.

"Well Alex, I didn't know you felt that way about me. You know I'm gay, right? And I kinda see you like a sister." Dylan joked. "It would kinda be like kissing Paige."

I rolled my eyes hitting Dylan on the shoulder. Dylan opened his arms and we embraced in a tight hug.

"Congratulations." I said as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Thanks." He replied.

We broke and he looked at me for a moment.

"Well, were look very_ grownup_." He smiled. I looked away and god I wish I hadn't. Maybe I would have seen it coming. Dylan suddenly took a hold of my cheek.

"Aww..." He said pinching it, "My little Alex is all grown up." He said in a baby voice. My first reaction was to clobber him, but since it was his graduation and I knew Mrs. Michalchuk would let me have if it did, I refrained from such violent measures. _But I was tempted._ Marco and Paige busted out into laughter at seeing this happen to me for the second time today. I glanced over at Paige and she quickly shrugged her shoulders to suggest she hadn't mentioned a word of the cheek pinching incident with Mrs. Michalchuk this morning. But by the look on Dylan's face, Paige had.

"Alright, alright." Mrs. Michalchuk said putting an end to the laughter. "Lets get some pictures."

I grabbed my camera bag that was around my shoulder and took out my camera. I removed the lens and got the camera ready.

"Okay then." I said, "Lets just get the graduate first."

Everyone moved aside so Dylan was standing alone. I took a few shots of Dylan in his cap and gown. Then I got a bunch of different shots with the family. Dylan with his parents, Dylan with Paige, Dylan with his parents and Paige, Dylan with Marco, Dylan with Marco and Paige, and Dylan with everyone.

"Alright. That's a wrap." I finished putting the lens back on my camera.

"Wait one moment." Mr. Michalchuk said taking the camera from me and removing the lens, "Get in there Alex." He said waving for me to go stand by Dylan. Mr. Michalchuk took a few shots of Dylan and me and we went through the group again only this time adding me. Finally Mr. Michalchuk looked around for a second.

"Excuse me." Mr. Michalchuk said as some guy passed by. The tall man stopped to look at Mr. Michalchuk, "Could you do me a favor?" Mr. Michalchuk asked.

"Umm..sure." The man said.

"Could you take a picture of us." Mr. Michalchuk asked handing the man the camera.

"Oh, yea. Sure." The man said enthusiastically taking the camera. Mr. Michalchuk walked over to Dylan, "Common guys. Gather in."

We all huddled in for our group picture.

"Alright," The man said holding the camera to his right eye, "Say cheese."

In unison everyone said 'cheese'. _Snap_.

-----------

After everyone was finished congratulating Dylan on his graduation, Mrs. Michalchuk said it was time to move Dylan out of his dorm so we could all get home. Mr. Michalchuk went to get the van and park it closer to Dylan's dorm. We all walked our way out of the stadium and past the crowds to Dylan's dorms. Dylan's room was covered in boxed. There were a few cloths and things lying around but for the most part his room looked empty. Paige decided she only needed to changed into tennis shoes but I wanted to get out of my clothing. I went to the bathroom and put on the old pair of jeans and the white t-shirt Mrs. Michalchuk had brought. I was more than happy to take my heels off and replace them with my old tennis shoes.

"I've pretty much packed everything." Dylan said walking to center of his dorm and looking around, "Everything just needs to be taken to car."

Since we couldn't do anything until Mr. Michalchuk returned with the van, we all just hung around for about 20 minutes while we waited for him.

"So Dylan, how does it feel to have graduated from college?" Paige asked. She sounded so proud of him.

"Well, it feels good." Dylan replied happily.

"And I am so proud of you." Mrs. Michalchuk exclaimed playfully pinching his cheek.

"Mom." Dylan whined taking a step back. I was more than happy to see this happening to someone other than me. Marco burst out laughing and Paige brought her hand up to her mouth to hide her smile.

"What?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked, "Can't a mother be proud of her child?"

Dylan nodded scratching the back of his head, "Yea, mom."

"Well, that's one kid I put through the college. Just two more." Mrs. Michalchuk said.

I took a sudden interest to the window at Mrs. Michalchuk words. I was always at a loss for words when Mrs. Michalchuk included me in things without question. I looked back at everyone. Everybody all seemed lost in thought.

"Alright, are we ready?" Mr. Michalchuk said as he walked through the door into Dylan's room.

"Yes." Mrs. Michalchuk replied, "Alright, everybody grab a box and let's start taking it down to the van."

"Alright people, let's hustle!" Mr. Michalchuk joked clapping his hands together. "Move! Move! Move!"

Paige rolled her eyes as she picked up what must have been the smallest box in the room. I on the other hand must have grabbed the box filled with encyclopedias.

"Here, lemme get that." Mr. Michalchuk said grabbing the box from me as I was about to fall over.

"Thanks." Replied more than happy to be relieved of that box.

It only took us about half an hour to finish loading everything in the van. We did a quick sweep of the room to make sure there was nothing left.

"Alright then. Let's all pile in the van." Mr. Michalchuk said as he started walking down the steps of the building. Mrs. Michalchuk, Paige, and Marco followed. Dylan was still standing inside his dorm room looking around. He seemed to be deep in thought. I still had my camera so I took it out. Leaning against the doorway I quickly grabbed a shot of Dylan. The flash brought him back from whatever he was thinking about. He looked at me and smiled.

"Are you okay?" I asked putting the lens back on the camera.

"It's just weird. You know?" He asked, "I mean, everything is going to change and this is kind of like my home. And now I have to leave it and I don't know if I want to."

"No Dylan, " I said, "Your home is downstairs in the van." I smiled.

Dylan nodded grinning a little bit. "I guess your right."

"I always am." I teased brining my hands up in the air and shrugged.

"Dylan? Alex? Are you guys coming?" Marco interrupted as he emerged at the top step.

"Yea, Marco." Dylan replied walking out of his dorm to greet his boyfriend. He put is arm around Marco and kissed him on the side of the head. Dylan looked back through the door to the inside of his dorm.

"Good-bye, dorm room." Dylan Said.

"You will be missed." I joked. There was a small chuckle from both Dylan and Marco.

"Let's go." Marco said turning around to walk back downstairs. Dylan followed.

I don't know why I was compelled to get one last look at the dorm. I knew exactly what Dylan had been talking about. The way he felt about his dorm was the way I felt about his family. They were my home now and I never wanted to leave. I grabbed my camera again and held it up and I took a few more shots of the empty room before closing the door behind me.

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**Okay, next chapter I am gonna really start brining to focus moreon Alex and Paige's relationship. Because I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some Palex! I'm not gonna say to much with what's going to happen or what's not going to happen next chapter, but what I will say is the focus is gonna start being on them.**


	31. Chapter 31

**This chapter got longer than I expected. I had even concidered breaking it up into two chapters. But in the end I decided against it. So you just get this really long chapter. About twice the size of my usual chapters. Like I said before, I'm ready for some palex. I also said I wasn't going to comment what would or wouldn't happen in this chapter. But this chapter is definitely gonna get the ball rolling for palex. **

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Chapter 31

The next few days following Dylan's graduation was hectic. Mrs. Michalchuk was trying to get things ready for Dylan's graduation party as well as work out sleeping accommodations for everyone. It was decided that I would keep my room and Paige would keep hers and Dylan could sleep on the couch in the den, which was equipped with a pull out bed. Dylan had been set up as a intern working for some computer corporation and he wouldn't be starting work until July. He was hoping to find is own place as soon as possible. The graduation party, which took place on the following Saturday, consisted of only close family and personal friends.

"Who wants a hotdog?" Mr. Michalchuk questioned standing by the barbeque. Only a few people raised their hands, myself and Ellie included. I had invited Ellie to Dylan's graduation party, which really turned out to be more of a get together. I hadn't even really seen Ellie since school ended and we had never really spoken since the kiss. I didn't want anything to be awkward between us, so I decided to keep a good physical distance from her while we were together.

"So.." Ellie started standing next to the ice cooler, having just arrived, "Nice party."

"Yep." I replied. I could see she was trying to make small talk.

"So, how's work?" Ellie said quickly, as if excited she thought of something to say.

"It's good." I replied. I was getting a little worried that the conversation was dead.

"Oh my god! Ellie!" Paige called walking out from behind the screen door. "Get over here!" Paige held her arms out.

"Hey Paige." Ellie replied embracing her in a hug.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?" Paige said taking a good look at Ellie.

"I'm doing really good." Ellie replied, "And how are you? How is Banting?"

"Oh, I'm doing good. Banting is good." Paige replied.

"Well, that's really good." Ellie said nodding her head.

Paige nodded back.

"So...you're taking care of Alex now?" Paige questioned.

"What?" Ellie replied looking a little confused.

"You got her to go college." Paige replied, "Something I could never do." Paige finished trailing off.

"Oh, well...actually.." Ellie started, "Well, yea. I guess so." Ellie said giving an uneasy chuckle.

"Paige." I started rolling my eyes.

"I'm just saying." Paige said. She sounded just like her mother.

I glanced at her grinning and she returned it. Ellie, who was standing in the middle of us started to fidget uneasily.

"Umm.." Ellie started, "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure hun." Paige said breaking her gaze from me, "Through that door, down the hall, to your left."

"Right." Ellie said, disappearing through the sliding glass door leaving just Paige and me.

"So." Paige said trying to think of something to say.

"So." I replied doing the same thing.

"You know," Paige started, "I really should have gotten a picture of you all dressed up for Dylan's graduation."

"Yes you really should have. You know, I don't dress up everyday." I joked.

"Oh, I know." Paige joked back.

"This party is really nice." I decided to change the subject.

"Yea." Paige agreed looking around at all the family and friends.

"I mean, look at all the people who took the time to come here and celebrate with Dylan." I started.

"Yea, it really is great." Paige replied. She seemed a little unsure of what I was talking about and I myself was getting lost in my thoughts.

"I mean, my family would never have taken the time out for something like this." I started.

Paige looked down. She didn't seem to know how to reply so I just continued.

"I mean my mother barely even gave me a graduation party from Degrassi." I thought back to the day I graduated. That night she had made me cake with a candle on top so that it would seem special. It was the best my mother could do.

"Well," Paige started reaching out and putting her hand on my shoulder, "You know you always have a place here."

I smiled back gratefully and Paige seemed relieved for some reason. But it wasn't long before I buried myself back into my thoughts.

"You know, I haven't even seen my mother in over nine months." I said it more to myself than to Paige. I suddenly felt a little shocked. Thinking back on my life and everything that had happened and now. I looked at around at where I was and it wasn't were I ever thought I would be. I felt like a different person. I looked at all of Paige's and Dylan's family members. They would never know the life I had. To them, I was no different than Paige. I didn't know whether to feel happy or sad about it. For the first time in my life I was being viewed as something other than trailer trash and I felt completely indifferent about it. I glanced back at Paige who was still looking down.

------------

After the party everybody said their goodbyes. I said goodbye to Ellie, who had spent a lot of the party just standing around and having small chit chat with Paige, Marco and me. Since Dylan was the graduate, instead of helping to clean up, he got to go out and celebrate with Marco on their own. While Paige and I got left with clean up duty. Paige and I did most of the clean up without talking to one another. Afterwards I crashed on the couch to enjoy what I thought would be some time for a little relaxing. I was wrong. I had just barely gotten comfortable on the couch as was about to turn on the television when Paige walked right in front of me.

"What are you doing?" She asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Golfing." I replied sarcastically and Paige rolled her eyes.

"Get up." Paige said leaning down towards me grabbing my hands and pulling me up.

"What?" I moaned as I hoisted myself to my feet.

"Come somewhere with me." Paige said.

"Where?" I asked feeling extremely tired at the thought of going somewhere.

"Just c'mon." Paige begged as she started pulling me away from the couch.

I reluctantly obeyed as Paige lead my out the front door to the bus stop.

-----------------

"So really Paige, where are we going?" I asked again for the 10th time on the bus.

"You'll see." Paige said. Her voice sounded indifferent. She herself sounded unsure if she even wanted to be going where she was taking me .

I spent most of the ride deep in thought like I had earlier that day. I would glance up at Paige ever once in while and she herself seemed to be in the same state I was in. She seemed very unsure of something.

Paige nudged me on the shoulder when the bus finally stopped at our destination. She glanced at me uneasy.

"We're here." She said getting up.

As I walked off the buss and looked around I noticed something that seemed fairly familiar to me.

"Paige..." I started.

"Lexi, common." Paige begged.

"Paige..." I said again looking around the area that I knew all to well.

"You haven't even spoken to her in nine months. And you miss her. And I know she misses you."

"How?" I questioned my feelings were overwhelming me.

"Because she is your mother." Paige said. Her voice suddenly got stern.

I remained quiet as I looked up at my apartment complex.

"Do you miss her?" Paige questioned.

I took a deep breathe, "Yea." I finally said.

"Then common." Paige said taking my hand as we walked into the building.

As we walked down the hallway to my apartment my head filled with memories of my childhood. I felt I was in a dream. Everything seemed familiar but distant. Paige and I reached my old apartment door and stood there. I knew I didn't have my key so I would have knock. I thought about what was going to happened. Would Chad be there? Would there be somebody new? Would she be drunk or sober? Would she even be home? I was shaking with fear. I had missed my mother a lot while I had been gone. Though my mother had made a lot of poor decisions in her life, I had always known she had done the best she could for me.

Paige was tightly holding on to my hand. I slowly raised my free hand into fist as I lightly knocked on the door. I held my breathe as I waited for someone to answer. After a few moments of waiting. I decided to knock again. This time a little harder. I thought I heard somebody fumbling around on other side of the door. My heart instantly started to beat faster. I felt Paige's grip on my hand tighten. The door swung open.

"Look, I already told you I don't have...Lexi?" My mother said standing in the doorway.

I suddenly felt my eyes water up. There she was. She looked exactly the same. Tired and washed out. But that was my mother and I was glad to see her again. I couldn't say anything because I knew if I did I would burst into tears.

"Lexi." She said again acknowledging it was me. I could see her face light up. I loved to see my mother smile. I never thought she smiled enough. I had always wished life wouldn't have been so cruel to her.

I could see tears begin to fall down her cheeks as she reached out and grabbed my in a tight hug, "I never thought I would see you again."

Paige let go of my hand so I could hug my mother fully. I clasps my hands around her trying to hold on to her tight. At that moment I forgot about everything else except my mother. I think it's true for most people, but there is something about the comfort of being in you mother's arms that nothing else could ever replicate. As I inhaled her scent I couldn't help but let the tears fall. After the long reunion were we both cried everything out my mother invited Paige and me inside.

"Umm...Paige, right?" My mother asked remembering back to the last time she had seen Paige, well over a year ago.

"Yes, Mrs. Nunez." Paige replied.

"Please...Emily." She demanded.

"Emily." Paige replied happily. Paige was such a people person.

My mother glanced around the apartment for a second, "I'm sorry about the mess."

"Oh no, it's fine, Emily." Paige replied.

I didn't say anything. I knew my mother was only talking to Paige. This was the way the apartment normally looked. When we had guests of any sort come visit, my mother would try to play it out as if she had been planning on cleaning up.

"Hey," My mother started. I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, "Did you girls want something to eat or drink?" That was the way my mother was. She was always bad with expressing her emotions. She would always try to mask them behind another emotion. I couldn't blame her for it. I was the same way.

"So your living with Paige now?" My mother suddenly asked. Her voice was plain and I couldn't draw any emotion out of it.

"How did you know?" I questioned. I was actually surprised she knew. I thought I would have to spend my time explaining what I had been doing all this time.

"Jay told me." My mother replied, "You know he still comes by. He's such a sweet boy. He's been doing all my handy work."

"Ohh.." I said. Not sure how to respond to Jay still dropping by the apartment.

"You know he's got a girlfriend now." My mother continued taking a seat at the kitchen table.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Real nice girl. She's cleaned him up real nice." My mother continued.

"Really?" I questioned. I thought back to last time I saw Jay. When he had stopped by my work. He had just wanted to hang out sometime.

There was a moment of silence between everyone. We all weren't sure what to say.

"Umm...I'm gonna use the bathroom." Paige said suddenly. She glanced at me for a second before disappearing behind the hallway.

"Were is Chad?" I finally asked.

"Oh, Chad left about five months ago. We just weren't working out." My mother replied.

"And how long have you known where I've been?" I asked wondering just how much my mother knew.

"For awhile now." My mother replied.

"So why haven't you come to see me?" I suddenly felt angry that my mother had known were I was and neglected to even visit me in nine months

"I dunno..." My mother replied.

"You don't know?" I replied feeling a little bit frustrated now.

"Because you were better there." My mother replied.

I was silent.

"You know I saw you once." My mother started, "With a friend of yours I guess and you looked happy. Happier than I had seen you in a long time. And I thought, if they can give you the life I never could, why interfere with that?"

"I missed you." Was the only thing I could think to say. Yes, I had been happier living with the Michalchuk than I had ever been at home, but I didn't want my mother to think I didn't care about her either.

"I know, baby." My mother said to me, "I know you did."

My mother seemed to be trailing off into a deep thought.

"You know," She started. She still seemed to be deep in thought, "I remember when I brought you home from the hospital. I remember holding you in my arms and thinking to myself, 'how could somebody love someone so much?'. You know when you love someone you want to do what's best for them. And I know I've made some bad choices and I know they've hurt you. And I know it's hasn't been easy. And I know you probably resent me for that. I'm sorry, Lexi. If I could go back and do things differently...I would. But I can't and..."

"Mom..." I interrupted, "I love you. And I know you did the best you could." I was beginning to hurt. In my whole life my mother had never been so sincere. She usually tried to drown her emotions and failures behind alcohol and anger.

My mother looked at me a little bewildered. I don't think she had expected that from me. She finally seemed to bring her focus back to the present and looked up at me.

"I love you too." She smiled, "You know Lex, I quit drinking. Or have tried anyway. I even got a job. I'm practically supporting myself now."

"That's great, mom." I replied. I was surprised how much she had changed.

"I read this book...And it said it was never to late to turn your life around. And well.." My mother's tone changed as if she thought what she was saying was going to sound stupid to me, "I just figured, you know...since I'm not doing anything better."

"No, that's really great, mom." I assured her, "I'm happy for you."

My mother let out a sigh, "You know, I'm really glad to see you again."

"I know, mom. Me too." I replied.

Paige finally came back from her long visit to the bathroom, which I got the feeling she was just giving my mother and I some alone time. We spent a few hours just talking and catching up. Paige also joined the conversation a little bit, but left most of the talking to my mother and me. My mother was proud to hear I was going to college. She insisted I stayed where I was. I also promised to visit her more regularly from now on. I couldn't even begin to explain the feelings I had to have reestablished my relationship with my mother. I felt less stressed. I had hated leaving her alone all this time and I was scared out of my mind to come to see her. The fear of getting sucked back into this world I had so desperately tried to escaped kept me away. Now I was no longer afraid.

"Oh hey Lex," My mother said as I was getting ready to leave, "I was going through some things the other day and I found this."

My mother walked over to the countertop, opened the drawer, and pulled out a what looked to be a necklace.

"Remember that old locket you lost years ago?" She said handing it to me.

"Yea." I said remember back to when my mother had given it to me when I was child. It had a close resemblance to the one Paige had also given me for Christmas. I took it into the palm of my hand and looked at it.

"I found it under your bed, behind a shoe box." My mother chuckled, "Maybe now you have somebody special to put a picture of inside there."

"Yea." I said still looking at the necklace I had lost so long ago.

----------

It was way past dark as Paige and I caught the bus ride home. There were only a few people besides us on the bus. I was beginning to feel extremely exhausted thinking just how much had happened. Paige also seemed equally tired. Sometime during the bus ride she rested her head on my shoulder. I leaned back against the seat to get a little bit more comfortable with the extra weight from Paige on me. It felt nice having her so close to me again. I was trying my hardest not to nod off. I of all people should know a public bus is not a good place to fall asleep, especially at night. After a while I managed to bring myself out of a drowsy daze as I noticed the bus had stopped moving. I started to hear some of the people on the bus talking.

"What's going on?" Paige asked coming out of her drowsy state also.

"Sounds like there was an accident. Traffic jam." I said gloomily.

"Great." Paige replied.

"Well, I guess were just sitting here." I said leaning back into my seat to get comfortable again.

"Well..." Paige started. She seemed more awake now, "We don't have to wait for the road to clear."

I looked at her and Paige got up.

"What are you doing?" I asked wondering what crazy idea she had stuck in her head.

"Let's just walk the rest of the way." Paige suggested.

"Your crazy." I replied

"Oh common, were almost home anyway. And besides we don't know how long this will be." Paige pleaded.

"It's almost a mile from here." I argued.

"So..." Paige replied.

I could only look at her. Here we both were tired from our long day and Paige wanted to walk the rest of the way home.

"I dunno." I finally replied.

"Lexi common!" Paige begged, "Remember, it's called living in the now..."

I shook my head grinning.

Paige let out a small whimper, "Fine then, but I'm walking. With or without you. So I guess I'll see you at home. " Paige said turning and slowly beginning to walk down to the front of the bus.

I cleared my throat, "Fine." I said pulling myself up.

"C'mon." Paige smiled as I followed her.

We walked off the bus and onto the side walk. The air was a little bit chilly for summer weather and I found myself shivering a little bit.

Paige and I walked most of the way lost in small irrelevant chit chat.

"It's so cold." I finally stated unable to contain my chill.

"Yea," Paige agreed, "Pretty weird weather for summer."

I nodded wishing I had more on than just a black t-shirt on.

"Oh hey." Paige said getting my attention, "Let's cut through the park."

"Alright." I agreed just wanting to get home now.

As we made our way through the park I kept having to rub my shoulders to help keep myself warm.

"So," Paige started, "I really like your mom."

"Thanks." I said unsure how to reply, "I really like your mom too."

Paige laughed, "Thanks."

We walked a little ways more. We were deep into the park's field now.

"Hey Alex." Paige said. I turned my head to look at her, "Look up at all the stars."

I did. There were so many of them all shining brightly.

"There so pretty." I replied.

"Yea." Paige said, "It kinda makes a person feel small. Doesn't it?"

"Yea." I said gazing up. I glanced at Paige to see her watching her me. She had a small smile on her face before breaking her gaze and looking back up at the night sky.

I also returned my gaze to the stars. Though I would have sworn I caught Paige glancing at me every now and then from the corner of my eye. A glance I happily returned. I found myself more wide awake now and I had even forgotten about the cold.

"Well, we should probably get going." Paige finally said.

"Yea." I agreed. We started walking again. I thought maybe my exhaustion was getting the best of me, but I thought I was hearing weird noises. I looked around to see nothing. Though in the distance I thought I was hearing something. A sound I couldn't explain but I knew I had heard before. The sounds was getting closer and closer. Suddenly I felt a burst of water on me. The park sprinklers had turned on and a rush of cold water was blasting me in the back. I heard Paige let out a shriek as she also got hit with the water.

"Let's get out of here." I called to Paige who was covering her face. She grabbed me by the arm and we started moving through the field. The interference of the water had caused me to lose my sense of direction and I had the hunch Paige also had no clue where she was going. We just wanted to get out of the water.

"Which way?" Paige said to me. Trying to figure out which direction to go. She was practically soaked.

"I dunno." I replied. The water was freezing but at the same time I couldn't help but laugh.

Paige started moving again and I followed her. It seemed no matter which direction we went we only seemed to be getting deeper into field and the sprinklers only pounded us harder. Finally Paige came to a dead stop. I stood next to her. We finally managed to be out of direct contact of the sprinklers but the mist was still falling on us. Paige looked at me laughing. She was completely drenched with water.

"I don't know how to get out." She said practically falling over from laughter.

"I don't know either." I chuckled. I couldn't help but smile.

Paige wiped all the dripping water from her face, "This is great." She laughed.

I could only laugh back at the humor of it all.

"I never realized the park was this big." She said still having trouble controlling her laughter, "Okay, let's go this way." She said grabbing me by the hand again and pulling me with her.

I don't know why. It just seemed like the right moment to me and I was feeling kind of risky. I pulled back on the hand Paige had a hold of yanking her back to face me. Before Paige even had time to react my lips had met hers. I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter like crazy. I was extremely relieved when Paige didn't pull back, but instead returned the kiss. She let go of my hand and moved both her arms up by my neck resting them on my shoulders. The kiss deepened as I rested my hands on her hips. Paige felt so soft and tender. It wasn't just the feeling of kissing another woman, it was the feeling of kissing Paige. I no longer even felt cold as Paige and I kissed tenderly under the stars, while being splashed by the water from the sprinklers.

-----

**I don't expect the next chapter to be as long as this one. And you can now probably see why I didn't break it up into two chapters. I promised Palex this chapter and I wanted to make sure there was some Palex! The next chapter is gonna start dealing more with their relationship now. Like I said, the ball is rolling! D **


	32. Chapter 32

**Okay. This is kind of a fun chapter. Palex goodness. This chapter pretty much picks up where chapter 31 left off. It's about maybe a 20 minute time gap. It's a short chapter, but it's all Palex. I decided to have some Palex fun before I start seriously focusing on their relationship. Though don't get your expectations to high on the chapter...**

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Chapter 32

"Ouch." Paige laughed tripping over the step of the porch. I quickly moved to catch her and she fell into my arms.

"I'm freezing." I said letting go of Paige as she reclaimed her balance. We were still soaking wet and still high off the side effect of the kiss we had shared. Paige and I had pretty much just laughed about nothing the rest of the way home, freezing from the cold.

Paige still laughing, unlocked the front door. We tried our hardest to stay quiet but we couldn't seem to control our giggling.

"Shhh..." She hissed at me as my giggling fit started up again. We entered into the house trying to keep as quiet as possible. I was shivering now and I could see Paige wasn't doing any better. We made our way to kitchen were I flipped the light switch so we were no longer in darkness. Paige made her way of the counter and leaned against it. Everything was still quite amusing to us. After a few seconds of just chuckling to ourselves. We finally managed to calm down. The moment had finally passed and we both had finally come to the realization of what had just happened. There was an awkward silence between us as we both searched for something to say. I myself wanted so badly to talk about the kiss and to kiss her again and I could tell Paige was going to do anything in her power to avoid it. Paige gazed deeply into my eyes. Her gaze willed me to go over and kiss her but her obvious distance from me told me not too. _I wish Paige was better at speaking her mind._ Paige's gaze grew deeper and I had not choice but to return the it. I couldn't help the little smile that was slowly forming on my face. It seemed to help the tension because Paige returned the grin. Suddenly Paige shook her head as if coming out of a daze.

"I'm hungry." She said suddenly, "Are you hungry?"

Paige moved quickly from the countertop to the refrigerator.

"I mean, we haven't eaten since the party." Paige reassured herself opening the refrigerator door.

"Paige." I said trying to snap her out of babbling mode. Though I couldn't help but think it was rather cute.

"Okay, let's see what we got." Paige said rummaging through the refrigerator, "We have left over hot dogs, salad, baked beans,..." Paige just seemed to be going off on anything she could find.

"Paige." I said again chuckling a little at her cuteness.

"Oh!' Paige exclaimed, "Butter!" She said pulling out the tub of butter looking at me excitedly. Paige hadn't noticed the salad bag still in her hand.

"Yea Paige, I like a little lettuce with my butter." I said humoring her.

Paige looked at what she had in both hands, realizing just how stupid of a combination she had pulled out. She placed the food on the countertop shaking her head, "I'm so obvious." She chuckled.

"A little." I smiled walking over to her. I could no longer stand the distance between us.

"Alex..." Paige started. She seemed unsure of herself and her vulnerability to me made me want her more.

"Yes." I replied moving in a little bit closer. The fact that Paige was not backing away from me was the best sign for me to continue moving in.

As if Paige could no longer fight it, she slowly closed her eyes and leaned in to fill the gap between us. Our lips lightly met. This kiss wasn't as fast or as deep as the one we shared no more than a half hour ago. This kiss was more slow and tense. I was more nervous this time. Every time our lips parted a little I feared Paige breaking away. After a moment she didn't and I moved in closer to her to make myself more comfortable. I felt a sudden sense of relief when Paige shifted her body weight into me. She wrapped her arms around my waist pulling me closer. I felt myself deepening the kiss and Paige did not refuse me. I brought my hand up to Paige's face and ran my fingers through her hair, which was still damp from the sprinklers.

Paige suddenly broke away from me. I felt a sudden rush of fear as my heart dropped. Though we were no longer kissing, her arms were still around me. I suddenly felt her grip on to me tight and I instinctively tightened my grip too. Paige rested her head on my shoulder. I suddenly felt close to Paige. Closer than I had kissing her. I felt like I had her, completely. My grip tightened as I inhaled her scent. I didn't want to let her go. Somehow I found our hugging more intimate than kissing. I felt closer somehow. I closed my eyes and rested my self against her holding her tighter still. Finally to my disappointment, Paige let go. She took a few steps from me looking into my eyes.

"So..." Paige started searching for something to say.

"So..." I replied feeling the tension build.

I suddenly seemed to relax letting a small grin form on her face.

"Tonight was good." She grinned.

I couldn't help but smile at her words.

"Tonight was good." I replied.

Paige raised her eyebrows to suggest where she was going with the this, "You're my lucky charm."

I rolled my eyes playfully remembering back to the night I had said that to her. Now hearing Paige say them playfully made me realize just how love-stricken I must have sounded.

Paige exhaled into the quietness that was left between us. Though the tension between us had dropped, the silence was deafening.

"Well..." Paige finally began, "I should probably be heading off to bed."

"Yea." I agreed nodding my head. It wasn't the response I wanted from Paige. Everything was still so up in the air. I couldn't see how she could even be tired. Despite the time, I was so wide awake.

Paige nodded awkwardly, "Alright, well. Night." She said and walked past me out of the kitchen.

"Night." I replied as she left leaving me alone still in my damp cloths. I decided I would go to bed myself, but would wait until Paige had gone to her room to avoid any encounters. I had no idea what tonight had meant for us and I was still to hyped up to even think about it. I leaned against the counter and closed my eyes, thinking back to the events of the day. The party. My mother. The stars. The sprinklers. The kiss. The other kiss. I don't know what it was, but something instinctively told me to turn around. I had barely even got a glimpse of Paige before her lips were suddenly pressed against mine. I was take off guard by the forcefulness of the kiss. Paige's hand was up by my face now. Holding my cheek steadily as she quickened the kiss. I didn't even have time to savor it before Paige broke away from me. Paige took a few steps back.

"Okay then." Paige started walking backwards, "Night." She said blushing. She bashfully turned away and strode back out of the kitchen.

I was left in complete shock and once again I was left to ponder the events of the night. The party. My mother. The stars. The sprinklers. The kiss. The other kiss. _And that last kiss._

----------

**So next chapter will be getting into their actual relationship and where they stand with each other. I'm not sure exactly what the set up of the next chapter will be. I'll just have to see how it goes as I write it. Though I pretty much have the the entire rest of this part of the story figured out. So I do know for a fact where I'm going with it. Oh..and by the way. I don't do this enough. But thank you for everyone who has taken the time to read all 32 chapters! I know that's a lot! And I also want to thank everyone who has been supportive of my writing. So thank you to everyone! **


	33. Chapter 33

**First, I just want to thank my two friends how help proof this chapter! You guys did a wonderful job! The story is also now beginning to shift to focus on Palex. **

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Chapter 33

It was the first sleepless night I had had in awhile. That night I had found myself too excited to even think of sleeping. Instead, I laid in my bed, eyes wide open. I could still feel Paige's lips pressed against mine. I could still smell her scent and her entire presences still felt as if she surrounded me. I replayed the events of the night over and over again in my mind. The kiss Paige and I shared in the sprinklers under the stars was in the moment. The kiss we shared in the kitchen was passion. The last kiss, however, I was unsure of and it was driving me insane. I had no idea what it meant. Did she want to get back together? Suddenly I thought..._Did I?_ I had feelings for her and I had wanted her so bad, but did I want an actual relationship with her? I started thinking about how this was going to work. If Paige and I actually got back together. Sure, summer would be fantastic...but afterwards? She would go back to Banting and I would stay here. It would go back to the same problem we had the last time. Sure Paige would be in Kingston, but there would be nothing else there for me. Just the thought of all the happiness and excitement of being with Paige again just to end in heartbreak over the same thing was almost to much to bear.

After a few hours of restless sleep I decided I needed to be up and moving. I glanced over at my clock. _7:02 a.m_. I sat up. I was completely awake. I decided to head downstairs to the kitchen. I wasn't sure if anyone was up yet but I figured at least Mrs. Michalchuk would there. When I finally reached the kitchen I wasn't surprised to find Mrs. Michalchuk sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and skimming over the news paper. It didn't take long for Mrs. Michalchuk to notice my presence.

"Well good morning, dear." Mrs. Michalchuk said looking up form the paper.

"Morning." I replied.

"You're up early." Mrs. Michalchuk noted.

"Yea," I replied, "I couldn't sleep." I said explaining myself.

"Well," Mrs. Michalchuk began, holding her cup of coffee with both hands, "You and Paige were out late last night."

"Oh yea." I said suddenly forced to reface the events of last night, "There was a traffic jam. It held us up." I suddenly felt a little nervous that Mrs. Michalchuk was going to question me further. _Did she know?_ And if she did. Did she support it? During my stay here, her nor myself have ever brought up me being Paige's ex-girlfriend. In fact, it had been completely forgotten for the most part.

"Well, I hope you two had a good time." Mrs. Michalchuk said getting up from the table, "Wherever you went." She finished rolling her eyes playfully.

I walked over the counter and sat down on one of the stools.

"So, what would you like for breakfast?" Mrs. Michalchuk asked rinsing out her coffee cup.

"Ummm...maybe just some toast?" I asked shyly. I always felt weird asking Mrs. Michalchuk for something, even if it was just toast.

"Just toast?" She replied.

"Yea, I'm not that hungry." I replied.

"Then toast it is." Mrs. Michalchuk said wearily. She seemed a little sad at the simplicity of my food choice.

I ate my toast in silence while Mrs. Michalchuck went back to occupying herself with reading a clothing catalog.

"Morning." Paige said strolling into the room. She looked exhausted. I was hoping Paige had suffered the same sleepless night as I had.

"Morning, dear!" Mrs. Michalchuk explained, "You're not my early bird today."

"I can see that." Paige replied looking my way.

I could feel myself blush at the sight of her. I tried to smile calmly but found it difficult to contain myself. I somehow managed to stay quiet. I knew Paige was going to avoid the events of last night for as long as possible. I didn't blame her. I wasn't quite ready to face them either.

"I made some toast if you would like some." Mrs. Michalchuk said pointing over the stack of toast she had made.

"Thanks." Paige replied grabbing a piece of toast from the plate.

"That's not very much." Mrs. Michalchuk noted as Paige took a small bite of the toast, "Would you like anything else?"

"No thanks. I'm not very hungry." Paige replied.

We all three spent a little while silence. Mrs. Michalchuk continued to look through the catalog while Paige and I ate our toast. Finally Mrs. Michalchuk closed the catalog looking up at us both.

"So, since both you girls are so bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning, perhaps you could do me a favor and save me some aggravation."

Paige shrugged acknowledging her willingness to cooperate and I did the same.

"Perhaps you girls could run a few errands for me today. Get them out of the way for me. That would be a big relief."

"Sure. No problem." Paige replied glancing at me to see my reaction and I quickly responded.

"Yea. I'd love too." I replied smiling.

"Great." Mrs. Michalchuk face lit up, "Well, you know. If you two hurry up and get ready. You can have everything done by noon and still have the rest of the day."

"Sounds like a plan." Paige replied taking a deep sigh.

-----

It took me 30 minutes to get ready to go. I showered, put on some jeans and a t-shirt and was ready to walk out the door. Paige showered, blow dried her hair, applied about twenty different layers of make-up and then went through about six different outfights before deciding on a pair of jeans and a very vibrant top.

"Paige..." I complained leaning in her door way, "Can we please go now? You look fine."

"I'll have you know, Lexi, that I'm feeling very perky today," Paige said now appearing from her closet, "And I want my outfit to match my mood."

"It matches." I replied examining her. She looked breath-taking. Just having her in view suddenly made me forget about my eagerness to hurry and do the errands. I could stand here all day and look at Paige. In fact, if Paige hadn't broken the silence, I probably would have.

"Ready?" She said happily.

"Oh shoot." I said smacking my forehead playfully, "You know what? I just realized, my bra doesn't match my underwear. Lemme go change real quick." I teased turning to leave the room.

"Ha...ha..." Paige replied rolling her eyes, "Very funny."

I rolled my eyes playfully in return. I couldn't help but chuckle at Paige's blushing face. Paige grabbed me by the hands and instantly I could feel the butterflies in my stomach come alive. She pulled me out of her room. I was surprised to find that she only let go of one hand. Her other hand was still tightly clasped on to mine. Our fingers naturally interlocked. We held hands all the way downstairs. Paige let go of my hand as we reached the front door. She looked at me awkwardly. I could tell she was searching for something appropriate to say. I gazed into her and she returned it. Suddenly Paige broke the gaze opening the front door.

"After you." She said.

"Thanks." I replied walking through the door.

We walked to the van which was parked in the drive way. I waited by the passenger side door while Paige unlocked the van. I got in and fastened my seat belt. Paige did the same. The quietness was deafening. I had no idea what to say to Paige and I new she was having the same problem.

"So, what's on the list?" I finally said looking straight ahead at the road.

"Umm," Paige said also not taking her eyes from in front of her as she thought, "Pick up dry cleaning."

"Naturally..." I said playfully. I had no idea how to act or respond to Paige suddenly. Was she my friend? Was she now something more? I had no clue and the only thing I knew how to do when I felt confused and uncomfortable was to be sarcastic.

Paige chuckled under her breath but continued driving without saying a word. It wasn't long before I could smell her perfume strongly. It was nice. I had no clue what kind it was, but I closed my eyes and inhaled.

"Alex? Alex? Alex!" I suddenly jolted up.

"What?" I said anxiously looking around.

"You fell asleep." Paige said rolling her eyes as she fully got into the car and fastened her seat belt.

"I did? For how long?" I questioned looking around and noticing cloths in the backseat.

"For awhile." Paige said pulling out.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't sleep much last night." I replied without thinking feeling the need to explain myself.

"Oh." Paige replied quietly.

"And where next?" I questioned quickly. Despite the events of the previous night were still fresh and eagerly in my mind. I had no desire to face any kind of reality to where they might lead, whether it be good or bad.

"Umm...the store." Paige replied.

"Okay." I said shifting my glance to the window. We spent the rest of the way in silence. The grocery store seemed all to familiar to me, perhaps it was because I worked here. Paige grabbed a cart and we browsed through the aisle picking up what Mrs. Michalchuk had put on the list. That night of no sleep was beginning to effect me and I was trying my hardest to stay awake. I could see Paige hadn't slept much either. I wondered what Paige had been thinking about last night. There were so many thoughts shooting through my head. I wondered, _Did Paige feel the same way I did?_ I wanted to ask her but I was so afraid of the answer.

I glanced at Paige who was looking at the list and making note of all the things we had and all the things we still needed. I couldn't help but admire her rosy complexion and the cute serious face she made when she was really focused on something.

"Alright." Paige said looking up confidently from the list, "We need potatoes."

"Potatoes, right." I confirmed taking the cart and turning it around in the opposite direction. Paige followed beside me. We walked down the aisle in silence. I started to zone out. I starting thinking about her lips pressed against mine. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering uncontrollably.

"Paige?" I was suddenly jolted back to reality. That was not a voice I was familiar with and I instantly felt my heart sink.

"Stanley?" Paige asked, a small smile on her face, "Stanley!" She exclaimed opening her arms and running over to him embracing him in a big tight hug.

I exhaled glancing over to a can of beans that had suddenly captivated me.

"How are you?" I heard Stanley say releasing Paige from his death grip.

"I'm good." Paige replied gazing into his eyes.

"How's your summer going so far?" He asked returning her gaze.

"It's good. Going very well, in fact." Paige replied looking extremely upbeat. Too upbeat for my liking.

"That's great!" Stanley replied, "You know. I forgot you lived in Toronto too."

"Yea." Paige said nodding her head.

"This city isn't as big as it looks." Stanley joked.

Paige glanced around a little bit finally noticing me, "Oh, Stanley. This is my friend Alex." She said grabbing me by the arm and pulling me next to her.

"Hi." Stanley said smiling and extending his hand to shake mine.

I reluctantly took a hold of his hand, "Hi." I replied sounding a little less than enthused to meet him. I noted that Stanley was tall and skinny. His sandy blond hair was gelled so it stood straight up. He was a pretty boy. I could tell instantly he had money and by the way he dressed, he had probably spent his life at private school...possibly boarding school.

"Well, we had better get going." Paige broke in.

"Right." Stanley said letting go of my hand, "So uh, we should do something sometime. You know, maybe...hang out or something."

"Oh, yea." Paige replied, "That sounds great."

"Good." Stanley said looking a little relieved, "Well, you have my cell number. So umm...give me a call."

"Right." Paige said taking hold of the cart, "I will then. It was nice talking to you." Paige began walking.

"Nice talking to you." Stanley said, "Oh, and nice meeting you, Alex."

I didn't respond. I raised my eyebrows a bit in acknowledgement and then turned around to walk with Paige.

Paige and I walked a few aisle in silence before I finally spoke.

"So this Stanley guy." I said looking at some marshmallows.

"What about him?" Paige asked scanning the list for the hundredth time, "He's just a friend."

"Oh." I said glancing up ahead of me to the end of the aisle.

Paige suddenly stopped and focused her eyes on me, "Are you _jealous_?" She chuckled?

"Jealous?" I scoffed, "Noooo." I said shaking my head.

"I think you are." Paige said confidently.

"Why would I be jealous?" I asked trying to avoid this conversation but at the same time, I was curious as to where it might lead.

"Oh, I dunno." Paige started, "Maybe you should tell me."

I could see Paige was going to drag this out till the very end. I let out a deep breathe and gave Paige a stern look.

"Alex," Paige started, trying to lighten the mood, "There is _nothing_ to be jealous about. He is just a friend from school. We had a few classes together and that was it."

I rolled my eyes trying to seem as if I was no longer bothered by this Stanley guy.

"Hun, I mean it. _Nothing..._" Paige said leaning in and giving me a small kiss on the cheek. I couldn't help but blush and even Paige turned a few shades of red. I smiled at her and nodded.

"So, let's finish this shopping thing." I said.

"Yes. Sounds good." Paige said interlocking her arm through mine and then grabbing back hold of the cart.

"So, what's left on the list?" I asked feeling so tense but at the same time relaxed to be so close to Paige.

"Potatoes." She said looking at the list.

"Yummy."

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**I'm going to be starting school, so I dont know when I will be able to update next. But do no worry. I will still be updating and my stories are all still at the top of my to do list. I will try to update as soon as I can. **


	34. Chapter 34

**Okay, first I wanna say I am really really really sorry for the slow updates! I didn't realize school and work was gonna take so much of my time. But dont worry, I have not given up on the story. I still intend to finish it. Updates, will just be a little slow and I am really trying to stay on course for the pace of the story. I dont want to rush it or make it sloppy. I proofed it so there shouldn't be to many errors, but if there are some, just bare with them. Though there shouldn't be anything major. **

**Also, I would like to give a shout out to a special person who is very close to me, you know who you are and I would just like to tell you you mean the world to me. So, thanks for keeping me on track with myself. **

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Chapter 34

"And you know what I hate about summer school?" Hazel said folding up the Dot's menu, "Is it's like school."

"Well, that's sort of the point, hun." Paige replied taking a sip of water.

"One would think that even professors would have some sort of life." Hazel commented.

I chuckled at Hazel never looking up from my menu. It was the first time Hazel, Marco, Paige, and I had all been together since summer started. We had all decided to go see a movie and then get some food for "old times sake."

"Marco? Must you check that phone constantly?" Paige complained as Marco flipped his phone back open.

"Sorry, it's just. Dylan is still looking for a place and I'm excited to see if he's found anything."

"Why didn't you just go with him?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to spend some time with my friends." Marco replied flipping his phone closed.

"Then spend time _away_ from your phone." I joked.

"You know," Paige began, "It's so weird being here again. Old times seem so far away." Paige reminisced.

The table was silent as we all seemed to be thinking about our days in high school. The days where Paige ruled the school. Hazel was her sidekick. Marco was the school queer, and I was girl who no one noticed.

"Alex? Do you know what you want?" Paige asked leaning over and looking at the menu as if what was on mine was different from hers.

"Ummm..." I started looking for something appealing, "I'm thinking just a..."

"Hamburger with onion rings." Paige said plainly rolling her eyes.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes playfully, "No." I laughed, "As a matter of fact I was going to get..." I started scanning the menu for something that looked tastier than a hamburger.

"Alright, are you guys ready to order?" The waitress said walking up the table.

"Ummm...sure." Marco said looking around at the table for any objections. When he saw non he directed his attention back to the menu, "I'll have the BLT."

"Alright...BLT" The waitress said writing it down.

Hazel was the next to butt in, "I'll take the creaser salad. Italian dressing please."

"Okay...creaser salad...Italian dressing."

"I'll have the same." Paige said before the waitress could look up.

"Right, make that two..." The waitress looked up at me to take my order.

"Uhh..." I said trying to stall as I desperately looked for something different from what Paige had predicted I would order. After finding nothing, "I'll have a hamburger with onion rings." I said plainly rolling my eyes. I glanced at Paige who had a smirk on her face.

"Alright." The waitress said writing it down, "And how would you like that cooked?" She asked.

"Uhh, well done" I replied.

"Alright. Will that be all for everyone?" The waitress asked. We all nodded our heads in agreement, "Okay then. Menus please and I'll be back with your food shortly." She said taking the menus from us and walking away.

I guess my mind had wondered off a bit and my eyes seemed to fixed on anything that moved because eyes seemed to follow the waitress' bottom as she walked away. I hadn't even really noticed until my attention was brought back by a whack on my head. I looked back at the table to notice both Marco and Haze giggling at me. Marco had his head down acting as if he had seen nothing. I glanced at Paige who was settling back in her seat, placing back down what looked like dessert menu that was on the table. Her face was calm. She opened up the dessert menu and started to look through it.

When the waitress brought our food I made a point not to look at the waitress in anyway. The food was good and we spent the entire time on random conversation. Afterwards we all pitched in for the bill.

"Should we tip her 3 or 4 dollars?" Hazel asked

"Four." I said instinctively. I always felt a small sympathy for low minimum wage workers. My eye suddenly cough Paige who was eyeing me intensely.

"Or three..." I changed my answer, "I mean, she wasn't _that_ helpful." I said trying to think of the right words to say. Paige let off a small sigh looking in the direction of the waitress who was busy at another table.

"Alright, three it is." Marco said placing the money on the table, "Lets go."

We rode the bus back to our house. Marco and Hazel got off at the their stops and Paige and I were the last. We sat the entire ride back to our house in silence. Paige seemed as if something was bothering her, but I couldn't tell for sure. She was extremely hard to read. She always kept her true feelings behind an unbreakable wall. I decided not to think about it and gazed out the window.

---

"It's so nice to be able to come home and not have anything to do." Paige said as she walked through the house door with me on her heels.

"Banting must be pretty stressful." I said just trying say anything meaningful.

"It's not easy." Paige replied sounding a little unsure of herself.

There was a moment of silence before I realized that Paige and I were alone in the house. I had no idea where were the Michalchucks had gone, but they weren't here. I could feel the emptiness in the house and suddenly I could feel the awkwardness of it just being Paige and me. She was standing in the living room look around as if she had never seen it before. She finally turned around to look at me and grinned a little. I smiled back.

------

Somehow the door to my bedroom burst open and I was thrust against it by Paige's body weight. Paige's lips pressing against mine. She tasted so sweet. I brought my hand up to her cheek as I softened the kiss. Paige's wait somehow slid me off the door. She somehow knew the exact location of the bed. Paige was now on top of me. As I felt her body weight shift slightly, I took advantage and turned her over. I then leaned in for a kiss but before I could get close enough to her lips.

"Wait." Paige said suddenly and I froze immediately

"Yes." I said feeling a little agitated as I was all excited now.

"What does this mean?" Paige questioned.

I guess I hadn't noticed, but this was obviously the perfect time to talk. I tired to bring myself out of the wonderful moment we had been having. I wasn't quite sure what Paige was asking about.

"What does what mean?" I asked back.

"You know." Paige replied.

_Oh, right. I forgot I could read minds._ I thought. I tilted my head to the side to try to convey the fact I was confused. Paige rolled her eyes as if she had been expecting me to do that. She started to sit up a little. I hadn't notice I was still on top of her hold her down. I got off her.

"You know," Paige shrugged, "_Us."_

I felt my heart sink. This was not a conversation I wanted to have, especially right now. I felt better not knowing where we stood. I had no idea what to say. I had no idea what Paige wanted me to say.

"What about us?" I asked deciding to let Paige lead the conversation.

"I mean," Paige started trying to find her words, "Is this going to work this time?"

This was already going bad. I didn't have the slightest clue how I should respond to that. I wanted to say the right thing but at the same time I wanted to be honest.

"I don't know." I said losing myself in thought. I heard Paige let off a sigh as she shook her head in frustration, which made my heart sink even more. I didn't want to lose her again.

"I mean," I started trying to recover but I didn't have a chance to complete my thought before Paige broke in.

"Is this going to end up like last time? Are you just going to _walk away_?" Paige said standing up and folding her arms across her chest.

"No." I shook my head trying to insure to her, "I am not going to walk away."

Paige relaxed a little, "So then, how is this going to work?" She questioned firmly.

_Neverending..._I thought to myself as I again struggled for something to say. When I remained silent, Paige spoke for me.

"Are you going to move to Kingston?"

"No." I replied strongly now feeling irritated. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I am there." Paige replied angry.

"And my life is here." I shot back my voice rising, "Everything I have is here."

Paige rolled her eyes in frustration but remained silent. Suddenly, I felt I had something to say.

"Are you going to move back here?" I questioned forcefully.

"No." Paige replied in disbelief.

"Because your life is there." I said calmly.

"So what then?" Paige questioned, "Are you and I going to be long distance?"

"I guess so." I replied angrily.

Paige shook her head, her eyes swelling with tears. Seeing Paige cry should have made me sad, it should have made me want to comfort her, and tell her what she wanted to hear. It didn't.

"Why is it, you just expect me to change my life for you?" I questioned suddenly unaware of what I was even saying.

"What?" Paige questioned looking confused.

"Why do I have to give up my dream?" I questioned again.

"What dream?" Paige asked forcefully, "Living off my parents?"

"You know what, forget it" I said now shaking my head at her.

"No. You know what, I was stupid, " Paige said looking directly at me, "Stupid for thinking you'd changed and for thinking that maybe...just maybe...we could actually work." Paige said holding back her tears. She made her way for the door. She didn't even bother to shut it. I heard the slam of her door down the hall. I was left with nothing but myself and Paige's last words echoing in my head.

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**I promise, I will NOT leave the story like this. There will be more! Sadly, I just can't say when. I really would like to have the next chapter up in less than a month, but I can't promise anything. Though, I will work my hardest to write the next chapters as soon as possible. And I would like to just put a thanks out there for everyone who has taken the time to read the 34 chapters of my story. You guys are the greatest! D **


	35. Chapter 35

**You don't have to tell me. I know. It's been FOREVER since my last update. I am extremely sorry about that. But for the good news. I am on winter break for the next few weeks. So I plan to do some major updating. So you shouldn't have to wait as long for new chapters. (At least till school starts again.) Also, since the season is starting I am going to try to work in a few facts and details here and there to go along with character development. (But don't worry, I am not going going away from the story and I will keep things that have been previously stated to be true for the story).**

**Now, on to comments about this chapter. So, as I have states. It's been a LONG time since I have written an update. So, being that I didn't really have big plans for this chapter I decided to make it my kinda, ease back into the story chapter. So, nothing extremely important. The purpose of this chapter is to show change in time and to keep the pace. And I will warn you, this chapter isn't centered around Palex. So I know the last chapter was sorta of a cliff hanger on what's going to happen with Palex. Like I said, there will be drama...and other stuff.. so with that. I give you..Chapter 35! **

**p.s. I did my best to proof and I had my wonderful friend help proof it for me too. Thanks a bunch!! and shout out to one more person! You know who you are! So there shouldn't be any major errors. If there are. I'm sorry, I'm not a professional editor.**

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Chapter 35

The next week was the slowest week I had ever endured in my life. It seemed as if every second that ticked by was like an hour. I tried endlessly to occupy myself. Since I was out of school for the summer I took extra shifts at the store. I was working full time now, just trying to stay away from the house and Paige. Whenever I wasn't at work I would go over to Ellie's. I didn't want to talk to Paige, looking at Paige, or even think about Paige. I just wanted everything I had felt ever for her to go away. I wanted everything that had ever happened between us to disappear. I didn't want this pain. The pain of wanting something and being _so_ close to it and just having it slip right out of your hands. I felt like a child so desperately trying to grab a handful of sand, but every time the grains would just slip through my fingers. I felt irritated and hopeless. I felt feelings I hadn't felt since I had moved away from my mom and apartment. Those feelings of sadness and anger. I had hoped I wouldn't have to feel them again, I had hoped that my life would finally see some light. _I was wrong._

I had worked all year and I had accumulated a nice savings. I had made up my mind. It was time for me to move out. Paige had been right, though I had the feeling Mrs. Michalchuk would disagree, I had well overstayed my welcome. It was time for me to find a place of my own. Which had been my original intent. I had been looking for something decent and affordable. I knew if I told Mrs. Michalchuk I was planning to move out, she would immediately put an end to my idea. So it wasn't until I had already leased a place that I broke the news to the Michalchuks. Mrs. Michalchuk was extremely saddened by my news to move out but she supported it. Though, she did make me promise to keep in touch.

Since I didn't have much stuff, my apartment was pretty empty. I had hung up a good portion of the pictures I took in photography to decorate the place. I had a small futon which functioned as a couch and bed. I had a small television which only got 5 channels, two of which, didn't even come in clearly. I was actually happy for once that work was keeping me busy. It allowed me time away from thinking. I found myself suddenly hating my life more than ever now. I was sitting on my futon eating a made for T.V. dinner when I heard a knock at the door. I looked at the door suddenly. I felt a small bit of excitement as I wondered who it could be. I wasn't expecting anyone and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I heard the knock again. I set my dinner down on the futon and scurried over to the door. I quickly unlocked the dead bolt lock. I had lived so long with the Michalchuks and had been so excited I didn't even use precautions as I undid the chain lock. I quickly turned the knob and opened the door.

"Surprise!"

Out of habit rolled my eyes at Jay's voice.

"What?" Jay questioned, "You're not happy to see me?"

Considering the fact, that except for work, I hadn't been out all. I was actually a little excited to see Jay. I moved out of the door way, holding the door open for him to come in.

"Come in." I said looking around at my apartment and realizing just how messy it was.

"Not bad." Jay commented inspecting it.

"I could be better." I replied shutting the door and then quickly moving into my small living room quickly trying to pick up.

"Awww, Lexi. Are you cleaning up for me? I feel special." Jay grinned.

I realized how ridiculous I must be, even caring what Jay thought. I stopped suddenly.

"Lex, it looks nice. You look good." Jay said. It was one of the few times I had ever heard Jay sound really sincere.

"Thanks." I replied pulling my hair out of my eyes.

There was an awkward moment of silence.

"You're mom told me where you lived." Jay started, "And I just thought I would drop by and see how you were."

"That's really sweet." I replied nodding my head.

"You're mom said you had changed. I just didn't realize how much." Jay had a real touch of sincerness in his voice.

Jay's comment came as a bit of a surprise to me. But he was right. I had changed. A lot.

Another few moments of silence pasts.

"So you have a girlfriend?" I asked

Jay nodded, "Vivian."

"Vivian?" I repeated, "Enticing." I joked.

Jay let off a fake laugh, "You would say that." He shook his head.

I smirked at her name and let out a small chuckle, "Sorry, it's just..._Vivian_?" I joked again.

"Yea, you're just interested in her." Jay defended throwing a piece of clothing at me he had picked up from the futon.

"Nahhh.." I replied back laughing and grabbing the clothing. I rolled my eyes playfully again. Still laughing. "So what does she do?"

"She's majoring in Business. Her parents own a small family store. She's planning on taking over one day."

"You know, I work at store. So if she ever has any questions or needs some pointers." I was laughing so hard.

"Okay, you know what." Jay pointed towards the door, "I don't have to take this. I'll be going now."

"No Jay. Wait." I demanded. I was trying no to laugh. But the thought of Jay with a girl named _Vivian_ was just too funny to me. She automatically seemed too good for him.

Jay was making his way towards the door.

"Alright, Jay." Hurrying over to him and grabbing him by the arm, "I'll stop. I promise. Cross my heart." I calmed down.

Jay rolled his eyes playfully, "And hey. You haven't met her yet."

"So I get to." I smirked.

"Maybe." He replied.

There was silence again as Jay settled down on the futon. He picked up my dinner and started poking at it.

"So," Jay began, "How are things with you and the lovely Miss Michalchuck?"

"Non existent." I replied dullfully.

"What?" Jay tilted his head, "You're mom said..." I cut him off.

"Forget what my mom said. My life is just one big pile of mush." I gestured my hands in front of me, "I'm just trying not to think about it."

"Awwww, Lex. You need some serious cheering up." Jay replied, "And I know just the thing." Jay said getting up from the futon.

"No more parties." I said firmly.

"This is not a party." He replied, "Lexi, C'mon. You can kick back and relax all your worries away."

I looked at him suspiciously.

"Lex, C'mon. Trust me." Jay said, sounding a lot like his old self.

I shook my head in disbelief of my self, "I can't believe I'm trusting you."

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The car ride lasted all but fifteen minutes. I found myself outside an old looking building. It only took me a second for everything to register.

"A strip club!?" I questioned, "You brought me to a strip club!?"

"What? Alex, don't tell me you don't like girls." Jay smirked.

"Jay!" I yelled folding my arms. This was a real Jay thing to do. I couldn't even be completely upset with him for doing it.

"Lex, c'mon. We go inside. Get a little entertainment. Watch some hot girls get jiggy with it." Jay started doing a little play dance.

"And how would, _Vivian_ feel having you watch other girls dance naked for your enjoyment?" I smirked.

"No no. Lexi, I'm doing this for _your_ enjoyment. I'm just your...supportive friend."

"Right." I said unconvinced.

"You're not going to go in there, are you?" Jay asked.

"No." I replied.

"I didn't think so."

"So then why did you bring me here?" I asked forcefully.

"It was worth a shot."

I looked at him eagerly.

"Hey, it's always worth a shot." He said.

"I guess." I replied looking down. My mind started to wonder off to Paige.

"Well, I'll take you home. We can grab a movie or something. My treat."

"Sounds good." I smiled.

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**Sorry for no Palex. And sorry for the ending, but I am sure, you don't want me dragging out a story with Alex and Jay time...so that's why I ended it there. But don't worry, this chapter isn't pointless. And I had planned on writing a chapter like this. I have to update a few of my other stories first. But I do have a lot of free time to write. So there won't be a huge wait for the next update. Next update will have more palex in it. I am hoping it to have it up within a few days. Hopefully less. **


	36. Chapter 36

**See. Just like I told you. You wouldn't have to wait long for the next chapter. D I like not having school. Alright..well I decided to break this chapter into 2 parts (second part is almost done. I will also be posting that very shortly). And I also wanted to take a few lines to thank all my friends who support my in my writing and of course my special person and everyone who takes the time read my work! Thanks a bunch everyone for all your support! It means a lot to me! D**

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Chapter 36

"Alex, you haven't left your apartment in a week." Ellie moaned.

"Not true," I replied, "I went to work yesterday."

"That's not what I meant." Ellie said folding her arms, "I mean you have to get out. You have to have some fun."

"What is it with everyone trying to get me to go out?" I complained. Despite the fact I knew I sounded frustrated I took comfort in the fact I actually had friends who cared. Though, I knew was I walking a thin line if I kept pushing Ellie and everyone else away.

"Fine." Ellie said, "Sit at home and do nothing."

"Fine." I repeated trying to think of a way out of my stubbornness without seeming obvious.

"Will you please just come to the movies with us?" Ellie finally whined.

I took the chance, "Fine." I rolled my eyes trying not to sound to happy, "I will go the movies with you."

"See," Ellie said, "and you will feel better."

"I wasn't aware I was feeling bad." I lied. I hated the fact everyone tried to cheer me up from a problem no one wanted to talk about. When I was with Ellie, Marco, or even Hazel, the talk of Paige was strictly forbidden. Only Jay, who I was beginning to hang out with more, would bring her up every now and again.

"Marco's waiting in the car." Ellie stated as I shut the bedroom door to change into some decent looking cloths. Since my couch also functioned as a bed, my bedroom was just a messy room with boxes and a closet to keep my cloths in. I missed my old room at the Michalchuks. I quickly changed into something half decent and combed my hair.

"Ready." I said walking out of the hall way.

"Okay, let's go." Ellie said opening up my front door.

-----

Marco was waiting in the car outside my apartment. I automatically took the backseat.

"Hey, Alex." Marco said as I settled down into my seat.

"Hey." I replied trying to sound some what friendly.

"Alright, Let's go." Marco said once Ellie was in the car and had her seatbelt on.

The movie was long. Almost too long and like every movie that had ever been made, it had the same plot: love. It was almost painful to watch to people be so happy together. During the movie I would glance over to Marco and Ellie who seemed to be watching it intensely. I couldn't even stay concentrated. My mind kept drifting to Paige. I had no idea where I stood with her...or where she even stood with me. Suddenly I just really wanted to talk with her. I was getting uneasy in my seat. I kept sifting my gaze around. I just wanted to move around. I was just waiting for the movie to be over. My mind kept wandering to Paige. I wanted her back...badly. My mind kept shifting back to the day I was so close to having her again, but like usual I backed out because I was afraid of commitment. I was afraid of change. I thought about the irony...I had changed so much of my life around already and for the better. How could I be so stupid? I felt so giddy in my seat. I had finally made up my mind. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it.

I was so relieved when I saw the guy get the girl and the credits started to roll. I was the first to jump up from my seat.

"Ready?" I asked eagerly wanting nothing more than to get back out in the light.

Ellie and Marco got up. They spent the entire car ride to The Dot talking about the movie and how cute and romantic it was. It wasn't till we were both sitting down at a table that I decided to talk.

"How do I get Paige back?" I asked

Both Marco and Ellie stared at me speechlessly.

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**Next chapter coming soon. If not late tonight. Then early tomorrow. I'm just about done. So you wont have to wait long at all. D**


	37. Chapter 37

**Here is the new chapter! I told you I would be quick. This chapter pretty much gets to the point. And also, I just realized I have 37 chapters in my story. So a HUGE thanks to everyone who has put up with all 37 chapters! This story is getting close to the end now so I am working on my ideas for the actual ending. But anyways, here is chapter 37. I hope you all enjoy it. I proofed it pretty well so I'm really hoping there are no errors. But if there are, I'm sorry I didn't catch them... I tried. And thanks again to everyone who reads my stories! And all the wonderful special people on my life who support my writing! D**

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Chapter 37

We had spent the entire night devising a way I could get Paige back.

"You have to do something romantic." Marco had told me. He had told me Paige had talked about me on several occasion and had hinted that she had missed me, which helped to brighten my mood. By the end of the night. I had everything set. Marco had talked to Paige earlier and had confirmed she was going out. That was perfect for me. Marco and Ellie had both helped me set up the candles around Paige's jacuzzi and helped spread some flower petals around the backyard. By sunset Paige's backyard looked pretty spectacular. I couldn't help but grab a few snapshots of it. I had even dressed up in my nicest clothes. For the first time in my life, I felt I was totally ready to commit to whatever I had to do to be with Paige.

I looked at my watch. Paige should be home at any time I thought. Marco and Ellie had left and even the Michalchucks decided to go out for a movie. "To help with the mood" Mr. Michalchuk had said.

I stared at my watch...5 minutes passed...10 minutes passed...15 minutes...then suddenly I heard the slamming of a car door. I quickly stood up straight. I had placed a note on the front door that asked Paige to go around the back. So I knew it would take a few moments for her to come around. Finally...Paige appeared. My heart was pounding hard in my chest. She looked beautiful. I almost couldn't even formulate thoughts.

"What's this?" Paige asked in a pleased disbelief. She was glancing around, slowly walking over to me.

"Paige..." I started searching my mind for the right words to say, "About before." I started. I could see Paige was listening to me intensely. It made me feel slightly better.

"I was stupid." I continued, "I was afraid. But I'm not now. I'm ready. For whatever. I want to be with you" I felt stupid just saying those words. I was finally laying my entire self on the line.

"Paige," I felt the butterflies in my stomach again, "I love you."

For one of the first times in my life, I couldn't read Paige's facial expression. It was completely blank. She bit on her lower lip. I hadn't exactly been expecting an "I love you" back, but I had been expecting more than this. Paige looked down. I could tell she was trying to think of something to say.

"Alex..." Paige started, "I don't know."

My heart sank.

"Hey." I heard a voice calling from the front yard.

Suddenly and to my complete surprise. I saw Stanley running into the backyard and up to Paige.

"Hey, Paige." He said holding out a light blue sweater, "You left this in my car."

"Oh.." Paige said looking completely nervous, "Thanks" She said taking the sweater.

Stanley glanced at me for a quick second and then back at Paige.

"Well.." He started. I could tell he was nervous, "Tonight was really fun. We should do it again real soon."

"Umm...Yea." Paige replied.

"Alright." Stanley said, "Well…I'll call you."

My entire heart was shattering into a million pieces. But it didn't completely fall out of my chest until Stanley slowly leaned in and gave Paige a quick kiss on the lips. Not only was my heart completely broken...but my lungs had stopped working as well. I could tell Stanley was trying to move into a deeper kiss but Paige broke it off.

"Night." Was all Paige said. Stanley looked completely love struck.

Paige watched as Stanley walked out of the backyard before turning back to me.

"Alex..." She started. I could hear the compassion in her voice but I didn't care.

"Don't worry about it." I cut her off. I couldn't even look her in the eye, "Look, just forget it." I said storming off.

Paige didn't have time to stop me. I didn't even glance back as the tears filled in my eyes. I felt like such a complete idiot. I couldn't help but think I should have known better. In my entire life I had never felt so stupid.

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**Yes. I know. Don't hate me. I told you there would be drama. So here is some drama. But don't worry, the story isn't over with yet. There will be a few more chapters to come. I can't say how many because I'm not sure yet. But I do know I am getting close to the end so I guess you will see what happenes. I'm still on vacation so my next update won't be long. Hopefully no more than a day or two. I love having no school. D**


	38. Chapter 38

**Sorry for the wait in the update. I had to take some time to figure out where I was going to go with this chapter and how this would effect the rest of the story. Like I said I am getting close to the end now. And after taking about six months to write this story I don't want to rush through the ending but I also don't want to drag the ending out either. So I'm trying to find a nice middle. I also took some time reading through the chapter a bit to make sure it was how I wanted it. I also have to thank my two wonderful proof readers who did catch a lot of grammar errors for me. So thanks you two! And thanks to my special onk. Oh, and btw, I think the site's email is slow so if you have my stories on alert you might not being getting an alert right when I update. So if you are waiting for the next chapter check the site and make sure I haven't updated. But I think the emails are catching up now (At least mine are.) **

**Alright, well I don't want to give to much away. So here is the next chapter. )**

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Chapter 38

I cried all the way back to my apartment. I felt like an idiot for even trying. _What was I thinking?_ I had never felt so embarrassed. I felt like everything was crashing down around me. The events of the night and my feelings were just one big ball rolling around in my stomach. I felt sick. I slammed the door to my apartment and just fell down on my futon. I was so upset with myself and with Paige. For the first time in a year, cried myself to sleep.

The days following the incident were slow and uneventful. I moped around my apartment trying not to think of Paige. I didn't answer my phone or check my messages. I called off work sick and just curled up on my futon with cheese puffs and watched game shows and talk shows. I especially liked the talk shows. It made me feel better knowing there were people out there who's lives were more screwed up than my own. I had just gotten up to get a drink when my phone range for the hundredth time today. I had thought about turning off my ringer but decided that if someone wanted to contact me _that _much I should see who it was. When I picked up the phone, I had been expecting Ellie or Marco. But I was fearing Paige.

"Hello? Alex?" I heard the voice on the other end.

"Hi." I said not instantly recognizing the voice.

"Alex, hi! This is Eve from photography."

"Oh, hi." I said trying to sound friendly and cheerful, but I had to admit I was shocked she called.

"Hey, listen." She started. Since my life was only spiraling down a hole of blackness, I only expected bad news, "You are still doing my intern class next semester, right?"

"Ummm, yea." I replied quickly. My life had been so caught up I had actually forgotten about my intern class next semester.

"Great, well listen. I got this huge photo shoot project going on next month and I'm taking a lot of my interns down. I'm not sure how long it will last but it would be great work experience in the field and plus it's paid work. What do you say?" She finished.

I was completely stunned. But what did I have to lose?

"Umm, yea. That would be great!" I replied trying to sound as excited as possible.

"Wonderful," Eve replied, "We are still working out travel arrangements, but don't worry. We are all going to leave together."

"Great." I replied not knowing how to respond.

"Alright, well I'll give you more details when I get them. I hope you are having a great summer and I'll be in contact with you soon." Eve said, obviously not knowing just how bad my life was going right now.

"Alright," I replied.

"Okay, take care." Eve said

"I will." I lied and with that I hung up the phone.

I sat back down on the futon and thought about the conversation. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Half of me was excited, half of me just wanted to stay here in this apartment forever. I felt alone.

-------

As the next few days went by, I was beginning to feel a little better. I went back to work and I was actually beginning to feel excited for the trip. I would be leaving in about three weeks. I had looked over all the pictures in my portfolio. I actually couldn't help but feel proud of myself. It did help to brighten my mood, despite the fact I still felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I still tried to focus on the positive. I knew if I didn't I would spiral down back to the way my life was before. I was almost surprised at myself for handling everything the way I was.

I had just started cleaning up my kitchen after a peaceful lunch when I heard a knock on the door. It took a second for me to move. I wasn't expecting anyone. I made my way to the door. I figured it was probably Jay since he had been dropping by lately to hang out. I unlocked the door and opened it. Instantly my heart sank.

"Alex, hi."

I didn't reply.

"Please don't slam the door on me." Paige said, slowly trying ease her way into my apartment.

"Paige..." I managed to get out still not moving.

"I would have called..." Paige started, "but I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me."

The entire night came flashing back to me. I felt all the anger and embarrassment. I had to fight myself hard not to get upset again.

"Alex," Paige said sincerely, "About the incident."

Finally, I broke in, "Look, just forget about it." I said. It was a huge struggle to make that the only thing I said.

"No, Alex." Paige replied. I could tell she couldn't get out what she wanted to say. My heart only kept sinking and sinking. I wanted her to go away but at the same time I was happy she was here.

"No, Paige. I was stupid." I said. I was having a hard time looking her in the eye.

"It wasn't." Paige replied. Her response helped lighten my mood. Though I had no idea how to reply to it. I waited for Paige to continue, "It was sweet." Paige finally said.

My heart sank even further. _Sweet?_ I thought. I told her I loved her and she thought it was sweet? I was already foreseeing where this was going and it wasn't looking good. I knew Paige didn't want to hurt me but I didn't want her to lie to me either.

"Paige," I finally started, "forget it. I take it all back. And I hope you and Stanley are..._happy._" Every word I was saying was killing me. Paige's facial expression changed. She suddenly looked like she was deep in thought.

"Is that all you have to say?" Paige finally spoke.

Every nerve in my body was exploding. I didn't know how much longer I could hold back my temper and Paige standing there looking at me like she was expecting an answer was not helping.

"Alex, I just wanted to come here and clear things up." Paige said. I could tell she didn't want to start an argument but every word she was saying was sending me closer and closer to the edge.

"Clear what up?" I questioned, "There is nothing to clear to up. Everything is already clear. You made that decision." I stated

"What?" Paige questioned forcefully.

I nodded. "You just forget about me and hook up with the next available guy?" I questioned. I didn't even want to say his name. Just the thought of him made me cringe.

"No, Alex." She stated. I could tell she was ready to explode on me, "_You_ made that decision! You had your shot with me. Twice! And twice you blew it."

I hated to admit it but Paige was right. I had nothing to argue with. I could only stand there and listen while Paige continued.

"You can't just _decide_ when _you're_ ready for a serious relationship and expect me be here waiting. I asked you this before and both times you didn't want to discuss it." Paige yelled emphasizing certain words as she spoke.

I folded my arms across my chest and waited for Paige to be done.

Paige shook her head, "I don't know if I can deal with this again. Sometimes, Alex, you are just too much."

Every word she was saying was hurting me more and more. Though, it wasn't the fact that Paige had said them that hurt me so bad. It was the fact that I knew they were true. I held back all my tears. I could see Paige's temper was beyond boiling now. Paige turned around and headed for the door. Upon opening it she turned around to look at me.

"And for your information, Stanley and I are not going out, nor were we ever." Paige shook her head. I could see she was so frustrated with me. When she realized I had nothing to reply back. She turned back around and slammed the door.

I stood where I was for a few minutes trying to take in everything that had just happened. I only felt I was messing everything up more and more with every word I said. I finally walked over to the window and glanced outside. I saw Paige storming out of the building and to her van she had parked on the curb. I looked at the van that I had so many memories in. My life before Paige and my life with Michalchuks seemed so far away now. I watched Paige unlock the door and get inside. I thought about everything I had gone through with her and what she had meant to me. I couldn't help but smile at the some of the memories that were so deep inside my mind. I watched Paige drive off down the street, taking all the memories with her. I took a deep breath and faced the reality. Paige and I were not meant to be.

-------

**Don't hate me! I know I am throwing some twists and turns with the story now. But that's what makes it interesting...lol. So I'm working on the ending now. I still think there will be a few more chapters. But I will probably either split the ending in maybe 2 large chapters or have a few smaller chapters. I'm not sure yet. I'll see how it goes. I'm really hoping to get the chapter up soon. I still got about another week of vacation left and I want to finish the story before it's over. So that's my goal. But like I said and I know I've seend countless times...lol..I wont rush it either. And thanks everyone again who keeps up with my stories!! You guys are great! **


	39. Chapter 39

**Sorry for taking so long. I've been sick so I've been kind of out of it over these past few days. This is my transition chapter into the ending of the story. It's short and it represents passage of time mostly and keeping the pace. **

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Chapter 39

The next few weeks went by better than I had expected. Once I had made the effort to remove Paige from my mind, I actually felt good. I was able to get up every morning and move on with my life. I had been spending a lot of time with Jay lately. He had been doing a good job at keeping me cheered up. Jay had even let me meet Vivian. Despite the endless jokes I came up with, I thought she was nice and I liked her. I had even been dropping by my mom's apartment from time to time and to help her out. I knew she struggling to get on her feet.

"I really appreciate this, Lexi." My mother said taking a sip of her cold coffee.

"It's no problem." I replied putting away the bag of groceries, "Besides, I got sick of coming over here and not having any food." I said. I was never really comfortable doing anything nice without a motive.

My mother gave a small half smile.

"So how is everything going?" My mother asked. She was doing her best to start friendly chit chat and stay up to date with my life.

"It's going about as good as can be expected." I replied standing up and stretching out my back.

My mother nodded her head, taking another sip of coffee. I looked around my old apartment. Suddenly the sight of anything familiar seemed to put me into a state of deep thought.

"So you and your friend should come over for dinner sometime." My mother said.

"My friend?" I asked not quite sure what she was talking about.

"You know, what's her name?" My mother looked up for a moment as she tried to retrieve the information from her head, "Paige." She finally said.

"Oh." I replied, breaking eye contact. I started grabbing the paper bags I had brought the groceries in and started folding them up, "Paige and I aren't friends anymore."

"What? Why not?" My mother asked obviously surprised at my answer.

"Sometimes, things don't work out." I said keeping myself busy with the paper bags.

"Did you two have a fight?" She asked. My mother was so nosy.

I suddenly stopped what I was doing and looked up at her, "We just didn't see eye to eye on things."

My mother shrugged. I could tell she didn't understand. I started cleaning up the kitchen.

"I really liked her." My mother muttered under her coffee cup. She was pushing my buttons and she wasn't even trying too. I couldn't get mad at her though, she didn't know. I turned around to look at her.

"Mom," I started, "I gotta go to work. Did you want me to make you some lunch before I go?" I asked.

"That would be lovely." She replied.

------------------

Work was quickly becoming my release from life. I was always so busy helping costumers I didn't have time to think of anything else. I was also getting more and more excited about my trip coming up in less than a week. It was all scheduled. Eve, the other interns and I would be leaving on an evening flight. We will be doing our photo shoot in forests of Kettle Valley, BC. Eve had told me it's suppose to be a nature shoot for pictures that will be used in calendars, magazines, web graphics and other stuff. I wasn't to thrilled to hear I would be going back to be one with nature again, but I was glad to know I had already had experience with the ruggedness of the wilderness.

My brain had been so caught up with thinking about the trip and my future that I didn't even notice I had a customer waiting for me to check them out.

"Sorry-" I said looking up and not expecting who I saw.

"Hey, nice to see you busy working." Paige said jokingly.

"Oh, I'm not...I was just.." I couldn't get my words straight, "I was just distracted." I finally said.

"Distracted?" Paige questioned.

"Over my trip." I said. It was weird to be talking to her again all of sudden.

"Oh...yes." Paige said, "My mom told me. You're doing a photo shoot or something."

"Yea." I nodded. I was feeling awkward and I could tell Paige was feeling the same.

There was a moment of silence.

"Umm..." Paige started, looking at her items she wanted to buy.

"Oh, right." I said quickly ringing up the items. I had forgotten for a second I was at work, "That will be $17.53." I said as Paige handed me the money. I counted out her change.

"There you go." I said handing Paige her change and the items I had put in a plastic bag.

"Thanks." Paige said taking the bag, "So, I'll see you around. Maybe we can grab lunch sometime or something." Paige suggested.

"Umm…yea." I replied quickly, "That sounds great." I felt like an idiot again. I should have said no. I should have said I didn't want to talk to her. But I couldn't deny that my feelings were still there and despite my mean reactions, I could do nothing but be nice. And there also seemed to be even a small chance of fixing our relationship. I wanted to hold on to that hope so badly...even if it was a false hope.

"Alright, we'll do that." Paige smiled as she turned around and walked away.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of weightlessness. I tried to fight it. I should know better than to get myself so hyped over something that will never happen.

---------------

**Don't hate me. I know... I know... I know... that is the third chapter to end on a low note! But don't worry, I'm not foreshadowing. I am just expressing Alex's current moods and thoughts. As for the next chapter, it will be my final chapter of this story. I have currently finished writing it and I am in the process of editing it and proofing it. It will probably take me a little longer than normal because I'm sick. I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow though. I will have the last chapter of this story up in a few days at most. Though knowing me...probably less than that. It's also somewhat of a long chapter. So keep an eye for it! **


	40. Chapter 40

**After six months and over a hundred pages later, this story is finally complete. I am really sad to end this story. It will feel weird not updating it anymore, but I do feel a sense of accomplishment for sticking it with it for six months. I really enjoyed writing it and I am so glad that so many readers enjoyed it too. I don't want to give anything away. So I will save all my comments on this chapter for my end notes. **

**(Let me get some thanks you's out of the way real quick) I would like to thank my special onk first and I would like to thank those who have been a huge support for me in writing this story, you know who you are and I love you guys! And of course, I would like to thank all of YOU readers who have been keeping up with this story!! You guys have been so amazing. I read your reviews and see the number of hits this story has gotten and to me it's amazing. **

**  
UPDATE 8/9/07: For information regarding my sequel please check my livejournal. The link to my livejournal can be find in my profile. It's just too hard to respond to everyone asking me about my fics. So I'll post news and stuff there. **

**So here it is the 40th and final chapter: **

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Chapter 40

Packing was one of the things in life I dreaded. This was one of the main reasons I hated traveling. I hated packing. Mr. Michalchuk had brought by a suitcase for me to use a few days before the trip. It was nice seeing him again and it was nice knowing that they hadn't forgotten about me. I had to double check myself to make sure I had everything I needed. I felt so stressed trying to get ready. I needed to make sure I had everything. I wasn't going to be away for a weekend. Eve said the shoot would probably last about a month. When I came back, my summer would be pretty much over. I hadn't decided if I liked that or not.

I had finally finished packing the last item into my suitcase. I had a hard time getting it to close. I dreaded the day when I would have to pack up again to come back here. I didn't want to admit it but everything suddenly seemed so difficult and pointless. I felt I was just going through the motions and I wasn't about to lie to myself..._I hated it._

I lugged my suitcase to the side of the wall out of the way. I didn't have to leave till late tomorrow. I finally felt I was done with everything and I could just relax.

"Jay, are you going to be here all night?" I asked stubbornly. Jay looked up from the T.V.

"Not all night." Jay replied jokingly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Lexi," Jay said standing up from my futon, "Vivian and me are going out to dinner tonight. Come with us."

"Jay." I said stubbornly.

"Come on, Lex." Jay begged playfully.

"I don't want to interfere." I argued.

"You won't." Jay stated, "Vivian would love to have you...and besides, it will be like your going away party. All in your honor."

I couldn't help but smile at Jay's sweetness. If only he could have been this sweet when we were going out...not that that would have changed anything.

"Fine." I replied, "Let me get ready."

"What? Why? You're already beautiful." He said.

I couldn't help but tilt my head in aw. Especially at such an un-Jay like comment, "Well I can see Vivian is having quite the effect on you." I joked.

Jay shrugged and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine." I said, "But I am at least going to change out of these PJs."

"If you insist." Jay say returning to his spot on the futon.

I had just started putting on a pair of jeans when I heard a knock at the door. Then another knock.

"Jay..." I yelled from my bedroom, "If you're going to be here at least make yourself useful."

I could hear Jay getting up from the futon. The next sound I heard was the door opening and Ellie's voice.

"Jay?" I heard her ask.

"The one and only." I heard Jay reply back. I didn't even have to see him to know his face was smug. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

"Where's Alex?" I heard Ellie question.

"She's in the back getting ready." Jay responded.

After that, their voices must have gotten lower because I couldn't make out what they were saying anymore. When I was finished getting dressed I emerged from my room to find Jay, Ellie, Marco and Hazel standing in my living room.

"Surprise." Ellie said dolefully.

"Umm...we wanted to kind of celebrate your leaving." Hazel said trying to explain.

Marco gave her a stern look and Hazel realized what she had said.

"I mean," She quickly tried to correct herself, "Not that were happy you're leaving. We're happy that your going away...for your job." Hazel was doing a really terrible job explaining what she meant. She finally gave up, "Look what I got you!" She brought to my attention a small box wrapped festively.

I could see Jay smirking at her from the corner of my eye.

"Oh, thanks." I said taking the box.

"So we wanted to give you kind of a going away party." Marco finally said, "But it looks like you already have plans."

I wasn't sure how to respond. Thank goodness for me Jay had butted in for me.

"Come with us." He said, "It's no problem."

I was having a hard time comprehending Jay's unusual niceness.

"Are you sure?" Marco asked. He also seemed taken aback by Jay's gesture.

"Yea," Jay replied as if scoffing Marco, "It's fine."

Marco shrugged.

------------

This must have been one of the most wonderful dinners of my life. We didn't eat at The Dot, instead Vivian took us to this nice casual Italian restaurant. I looked around the table and saw Jay, Vivian, Ellie, Marco, and Hazel. It was almost surreal to me. I felt different. It was a feeling I couldn't explain, but I felt for once, my life had become more than just working to survive. I felt I had become more than just someone who hated the world and everyone in it for having something I never had: happiness. Though glancing around the table again I still couldn't get the sense of completeness. I felt there was still a void in my life, a void I couldn't fill. Marco had told me on the way that Paige had wanted to come with them to say goodbye to me, but she had made other plans first and she wasn't able to cancel. I didn't even entertain the possible reasons why Paige hadn't come to my going away gathering. I didn't even want to think about it. Though sadly, my mind kept drifting towards the void...towards the something that was missing.

"Alex?...Alex?"

I looked up to see Marco waving his hand at me.

"Are you okay?" Marco asked.

"I'm fine." I replied, "I'm just so moved by everyone tonight." I said sounding a little more melodramatic than I had hoped too. I was thankful that most times the things I said had a small sarcastic tone to them.

Everyone chuckled a little. I decided to bite the bullet.

"Really you guys, this is wonderful. Everything is wonderful." I said, "Thank you."

I could see everyone's face light up. I could tell they were both amused and surprised that they had gotten something sincerely nice out of me.

"So you're leaving tomorrow?" Vivian asked.

"Yes." I said straitening up my back.

"Well, I hope you have a good time." Vivian replied. I could tell she was struggling with good conversation with me. But she seemed generally happy to be here.

"Thank you," I replied.

There was a moment of silence. Everyone was looking at me expecting me to say something. Despite the fact I hated being the center of attention, I was actually flattered everyone was waiting on me.

"I can't believe I've never eaten here before." I said taking another bite of my pasta.

"I know. It's good." Ellie commented nodding her head.

"It's just so much carbs." Hazel replied picking at her plate.

"Ohh...I would hate for you to have to settle for wearing a size negative 2." Jay joked and Vivian instantly shot him an angry look.

"I wish." Hazel said under her breath.

I couldn't help but laugh. The whole dinner itself was amazing. In my life I had never expected to see Jay, Marco, Ellie, Hazel, and me all sitting around at table and having a good time. I almost didn't believe it. I thought that at any moment I would wake up from this dream and find myself back in my apartment a month after graduation with my mom and Chad. The thought frightened me.

Before I knew it, I was back in my apartment alone. The whole night had seemed like an instant. I crashed down on my futon. Everything seemed so quiet. I sat and thought about what then next few months were going to mean for me. My life would be changing again even more than it had. Tomorrow, I would start my journey to make it on my own.

--------------------

The next day went by slowly. I figured it was because I was all packed and ready to leave. I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. I went over to visit my mother and say goodbye. I made sure she didn't need anything before I left. Afterwards, I made my way back to my apartment to hang around until it was time for me to catch a taxi to the airport. Ellie came over for a little bit to see me once more before I left.

For some reason I was feeling down about the trip. I didn't want to admit to myself that it was because I wouldn't be seeing Paige for a month. Instead, I told myself it was because of the dreary weather. Storm clouds were creeping closer and closer to my apartment and it looked as if it would be a raining by nightfall. But honestly, I didn't care about the rain. I lied down on my futon and closed my eyes for a little bit. When I opened them again two hours had passed. I looked at my clock. It was 5:48 P.M. My plane left at 9:15 P.M. I quickly sat up and looked around. The clouds were completely overheard now. I had already scheduled a taxi to pick me up at 6 P.M.

I jolted to gather all my things next to the door. I was ready to leave in less than ten minutes. I looked out the window and to my surprise the taxi actually seemed to have arrived on time. I made my way with my suitcase and carry on down the stairs outside. I didn't have an umbrella so I had to use my rain coat and hold it over my head as I ran to the taxi. The driver had gotten out and was opening the truck of the car for me. As I ran up to him, he looked at me.

"Terrible weather for summer, don't you say?" He asked.

"Yea." I replied trying to pull up my suitcase so I could put it in the trunk.

He leaned down.

"Here, I got it." He said taking the suitcase in has hands and lifting it with much greater ease than I had.

"Thanks." I replied. I glanced around the area while the driver was putting my luggage in the trunk. The weather was horrible and the wind was picking up now. I was actually relieved it wasn't to cold. The rain clouds were blocking out the setting sun. I glanced down the street. Cars were parked up and down. _Who wants to leave their house in this weather?_ I thought to myself. In the distance, I thought I could see someone walking. Who ever was out for an evening stroll tonight must be crazy. I shook my head.

"Ready?" The driver said slamming the trunk of the car.

I looked at the cab, "Yea." I replied walking over to the backseat door and getting in. I reached to close the door but the cab driver had beaten me to it.

"Watch your hands." He said as he slammed the door. After a few moments I heard the opening and closing of the drivers side door. I check my carry on bag real quickly to double check if I had grabbed my tickets. I was relieved when I felt my hand slid down the side of the plastic bag I had placed them in. I heard the cab driver restart the car. I was waiting for that first motion of the car to take off but I was suddenly startled by something slamming on my side window. I actually gasped.

"Alex!" I heard a voice yelling from the out side. The person was slamming their hands against the window. The rain outside made it hard to tell who it was. It took me a few seconds before the thought even crossed my mind.

"Paige?" I questioned, though I already knew the answer. I quickly opened my door. Suddenly I saw Paige drenched in water climbing into the cab next to me.

"Alex..." She said. Paige was having problems formulating her words. I didn't know what to say. I was still shocked she was here in the cab with me, completely drenched, and still looking completely beautiful.

Finally Paige just leaned in and kissed me. Suddenly all the feelings I had ever felt for Paige came rushing back to me. I felt lighter than air. I could feel her hand pushing against my collar bone as she tried to keep her balance in the cab. She broke away from me and looked down, avoiding my eye contact. I could do nothing but look at her.

Paige finally shifted her gaze back at me, "You know you can really screw things up sometimes." She said forcefully.

I didn't reply.

Paige pointed her finger at me as she continued, "And come to irrational conclusions and be completely impossible and…" I cut her off.

"Paige, did you come here in the poring rain to tell me all that?" I asked puzzled by her spout of anger.

"No." Paige replied sternly before whimpering off, "Yes..." She said. She looked at me and took a deep breath.

"I also came here to tell you that besides your temper and your mood swings, and the fact that no matter how many boxes of fruit loops we buy you still eat it all before the end of the week..."

I gave Paige a stern look and she cut herself off. Paige exhaled before taking another deep breath.

"I love you too." Paige said. Her voice was calm and sincere. Every nerve ending in my body lit up. I thought back to the night I had told Paige that I loved her and she had said nothing.

Then suddenly Paige exhaled again giving a classic _"There, I said it"_ facial expression.

I shook my head, "What? Is it a bad thing?" I asked.

"I haven't decided yet." Paige cocked her head to the side acting like she was thinking. I nodded.

"I hope not." I said leaning in to kiss her.

"Me too." Paige said in between kisses. I chuckled.

I was suddenly in a complete state of nirvana. I couldn't recall a time I was this happy and excited about anything. Then suddenly it hit me. I was going away for a month.

"Come with me." I said.

Paige shook her head, "I can't."

"Why not?" I questioned.

"Because this is your thing." Paige replied, "I don't want to get in the way of a girl and her dream."

"You really hate the wilderness." I smirked.

"With a passion." Paige smiled back.

I sighed. I suddenly wished I wasn't going.

"I will be here when you get back." Paige smiled. It made me feel better. Though things still felt incomplete.

"Paige, what about Banting?" I asked.

"We _will_ _talk_ about it." Paige said forcefully.

I didn't answer. I didn't have a choice.

"Look, a friend of mine once told me that any one who makes you happy and you make them happy is a rare thing." Paige smiled at me.

I thought about it for a moment.

"You're right." I said.

There was a moment of silence as neither one of us were sure what to say next.

"Uh-hem." I heard coming from the front seat. I suddenly looked up to notice the cab driver turned around looking at me.

"Are you still planning on catching that flight?" He asked trying not to smile.

"Umm…" I said trying to think as fast as I could. I finally nodded, "Yea." I said look at Paige in despair. I knew we would have to part now.

But to my surprise, instead of Paige moving to get out of the cab, she took her seat and buckled her seat belt. I looked at her questioningly.

"What?" Paige asked rolling her eyes at me, "Just because I'm not going with you doesn't mean I can't see you off." Paige noted.

I could only smile as I leaned in to kiss her once more. I felt so happy and so excited about everything. I settled back into my seat and buckled my seat belt. Then suddenly I felt the cab moving. There was no sound other than the car and the sound of the rain as it fell. Paige took her hand into mine and finally for the first time; I felt complete. All the misery and suffering I had endured over the years. All the problems and pressures. All of it just seemed to vanish. I gazed out of the car window. It was as if everything had purpose and even in the darkest of places there could be found hope. As I looked out the window up into the rain clouds I could have sworn shining through them, was a ray of light.

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**I hope everyone enjoyed the ending. I did my best not to make it to sappy or cheesy...but I also wanted it to feel complete. Now, like I have mentioned before I do plan on making a sequel to this story. I am still working out the details. I plan on starting the sequel in the beginning of summer. In the meantime, I will be working on my other stories and posting some new ones hopefully. So feel free to check out my other stories in the meantime if you haven't already. And also, if you don't have me on author alert, I usually keep a pretty accurate update on where I am with my stories in my profile so be sure to check it out if you wanna see where I am. And again, thank you guys so much for keeping up with my story! You are all awesome! **


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